Song of Shadows

Chapter Eighteen

Elain

I feel more than see Lucien lurking in the dining room eating a late lunch. His presence makes it hard to concentrate on the book in my hands, but I don't have the courage to ask him to leave. Cassian and Rhysand's voices rumble through the nearby door of the High Lord's study.

Sighing, I put my book down. The sky is gray and frosty. I grab a cloak from the hooks and go out into the streets of Velaris. Even after months of living here, I still am not used to hearing children laughing and a people living in peace. The streets I take are full of people shopping and admiring the reconstructed buildings. As I cross the Sidra, the buildings, while still beautiful, exude an air of neglect and shabbiness.

I push open a grimy door and climb some stairs. The reek of sweat and urine permeate the air. Nesta... why are you living like this? I knock loudly on Nesta's door, ignoring the muttered curses and the sound of a male voice. Not another one.

My elder sister's face appears in the crack of the door. Her once neat hair is ragged and unwashed. Her face, once so elegant and beautiful, has become drawn and pale. "What do you want?" she growls. "I thought I told you to leave me alone."

"I came by to see if you would like to have dinner with me tonight. The others are out of the city, and I wanted to try a new restaurant that just opened."

Nesta's eyes turn into chips of ice. "No, thank you." She moves to shut the door, but I put my foot in the crack.

"How long are you going to hide in here?" I ask. Seeing my sister, my fiery and iron-willed sister, living in such squalor ignites my temper.

"Leave me alone, Elain!" she snarls. Her face contorts with rage.

"Nesta! You can't keep hiding. Please. I miss you!" Hot tears sting my eyes.

Her shoulders slump forward. "I just want to be left alone to live my life. You don't need to see me like this."

"Then stop living like this, Nesta!"

"I have nothing more to say to you, Elain." She pushes my foot away with hers and slams the door in my face. I wipe my eyes and head back to the townhouse. Feyre and Mor are at the moonstone palace, attending to some court business. Azriel left three days ago. Cassian and Rhysand are journeying to the Illyrian war camps.

Lucien is mercifully gone when I return home. I sink into an armchair near the roaring fireplace, but the warmth doesn't reach me. It was another empty day, but exhaustion drags me into a deep sleep.

The house is dark and silent when I wake up. Only a faint glow from dying embers illuminates the sitting room. Shadows stir and withdraw from my sight when I look at them. Azriel. Rubbing my eyes, I make my way to the roof. The stars look so much closer here than they did in the human lands.

He leans against the railing surrounding the roof, gazing up at the stars. I stand next to Azriel, aware of how close we are standing. "I used to sneak out of my bed all the time to look at the stars when I was still human. My mother always disapproved since the stars couldn't help our family succeed."

"Before I escaped my father's keep, I only saw the stars through my shadows. The first night I was free, I spent the entire night in a tree, gazing out at the stars. I thought they were the most beautiful thing in existence."

"How was your mission?"

"It was... successful." Azriel continues staring up at the glittering stars. Bands of light dance across the sky in tones of pink and green. "It's rare to see the aurora so early in the autumn. It normally only reaches this far south in the deep winter."