Song of Shadows

Chapter Seventeen

Azriel

The sails of the armada begin to furl out in the early morning breeze. Drakon's ships separate from the human ones. I watch them as they catch the tide and the wind. Most of the war camps are gone, but many of the Illyrians are still too injured to travel.

I let out a long breath. I miss Velaris.

"Are you... alright?"

Mor's voice startles me as she appears in the doorway of the ruined bedroom. I turn away from the window where the first rays of dawn are appearing. Mor rubs her arms and stares at the wall behind me.

"I'll be fine," I respond. She comes closer, her sweet scent washing over me. I grit my teeth as my heart skips a beat. "Are you...?"

"Fine. I'm fine." The words are clipped. Mor refuses to look at me as she shifts her weight from one foot to the other. "I was just... worried about you. That's all."

The thundering tempo in my chest increases. Words elude me, so I give her a nervous smile. Mor swallows hard, her hands clenching and unclenching. "Are you sure you're alright?"

Her body freezes at the question. She leans against the window, staring out at the brightening ruins of the Archeron house. I resist the urge to fidget or pace as my anxiety increases. Time... she needs time and silence to decide if she wants to tell me. After a long pause, Mor huffs out a sigh. "I... I owe you an apology."

"For what?"

Mor swallows again. She continues to stare out the window. Her voice drops to a quiet whisper. "I haven't been... completely honest with you, any of you, in a long time."

I reach out my hand and lay it on her arm. She flinches at the touch, but I don't move my hand. "Mor, there is nothing you can tell us that would make any of us think less of you."

Tears swim in her eyes as she finally meets my gaze. "I know."

"We all have our secrets. Tell us when you are ready. We will support you, Mor."

She nods, wiping her eyes. "I... I know." Instinctively, I open my arms to her. Mor glances at me before stepping forward. I pull her close to me and breathe her scent in more deeply. The hurt and fear inside of me melts away, but Elain's face floats through my mind.

"You deserve to be happy, Morrigan," I say quietly.

Mor wipes her eyes again. Our faces are close enough that I can see the speckles of darker blue in her eyes. My longing for Mor rushes through me, but I push it down again. "I... you deserve to be happy too, Azriel."

"I am. I am happy here... with you." The words leap out of my mouth before I can stop them. Her eyes widen at this, and she steps back out of my embrace. My hand reaches towards her before I can pull it back.

Mor bites her lip and shakes her head. "I... I'm sorry, Azriel. I... It's not you... I just... can't."

Her rejection stabs a hole in my chest, making it hard to breathe properly "Don't... don't apologize." The words are thick in my throat. I swallow around the lump forming there. "I understand. I'm sorry."

Mor steps closer to me this time. "No... don't think for a moment that it has anything to do with you." She pauses, searching for words. "You're wonderful and kind and strong."

Icy rage threatens to consume me. My heart feels empty and hollow. I retreat towards the wall. "Please, Mor. Don't." I clench my fists. "I need to be alone for awhile." I back towards the window.

"Azriel..."

"Mor, please." The last word comes out a hoarse plea. I ignore the stinging in my eyes as Mor swallows hard once more. She nods and hurries out of the room. When her footsteps have faded, I sink to the ground, my wings dragging on the wall.