Song of Shadows

Chapter Twenty

Elain

The tray of pastries almost falls from my hands as I collide with Feyre. She surveys the table, laden with decorated and baked goods. "Those look pretty." Her praise fills me with pride.

I place the tray on the table and brush my hands. "They taste as good as they look." I offer her a heart shaped cookie, sprinkled with sugar. My sister's eyes light up with joy as she bites into it.

"How long have you been working on this?"

I shrug. "Since dawn, but Nuala and Cerridwen were up hours before that."

Feyre finishes her dessert and reaches for another one. I muster my courage and ask about Nesta. The disappointment in her eyes tells me enough, but a knock breaks through the silence. My heart leaps into my throat as I race down the hallway. I throw open the door to the entryway, but the lock on the outer door takes a moment. My fingers quiver as I pull open the door.

I take a step back, every fiber of my being going silent, as Lucien steps over the threshold. There is a strained happiness in his expression as he surveys me for a moment. "Happy Solstice," he says tightly.

Feyre greets my mate and leads him into the sitting room. I follow behind them and settle on the edge of the couch, as far away from Lucien as I can manage. "You look well," Feyre says.

He extends his hands towards the fire, staring intently into the flames. He looks at me briefly before turning to my sister. My pulse thunders in my mind as I clench my fists in the folds of my skirt. "As do you. Both of you."

I bow my head slightly, wishing I could vanish into the wall. A small stack of wrapped boxes catches my attention. "You brought presents," Feyre says. She is trying to break the awkward silence.

"It's Solstice tradition here, isn't it?" Lucien asks flatly.

"Would you like to join us for the Solstice?" The words are out of my mouth before I can pull them back. Feyre and Lucien gape at me. Please say no, please say no, please say no.

Lucien shakes his head. My entire body sags with relief at his refusal. An angry voice fills my mind. What are you relieved for? Didn't you say you were going to try and make things work with him? You know why you have to do this.

Blinking back the tears threatening to spill from my eyes, I glance into the dining room where Nuala is bringing another plate of food from the kitchen. The smells are enticing.

"Where are you going?" Feyre asks.

"I... I've been at the Spring Court every now and then. If I'm not here in Velaris, I've been staying with Jurian. And Vassa."

The name of the cursed human queen catches my interest. A rumble of jealousy rises up in my mind. I block out the rest of conversation, wrestling with my emotions. Are you jealous of a pathetic human? She will be dust in a few decades. Lucien is yours and no one else's. I shake my head and push down the thoughts. I don't care. Let him have another woman. I... Can I really be angry with him if my heart belongs to another?

I feel Lucien's gaze burning into me. Our eyes meet for a moment before images of my vision intrude. I clamber to my feet. "I'll get refreshments." Lucien rises as I push open the kitchen door.

Leaning against the door, I hear my mate let out a long sigh. "How is she?"

Feyre hesitates for a moment. "Better. She makes no mention of her abilities if they reman."

"Good. Is she still..." I hold my breath as I wait for Lucien to continue. "Does she still mourn him?" My temper flares at the implications in his question. The raw possessiveness of his tone.