The Lust That Hides The Love

Forty-Nine-Rose's Room

I'm back from my little break! After dealing with some stuff and thinking for a bit, I've decided to at least continue writing this. However, I'll be doing things a little differently. As you may have noticed, 've typically tried to do my updates in real-time with the story. However, I'm going to stop in favor of a story that can add more detail while allowing me to update at a steady pace. Thanks!

Rainbow's Pov

I didn't know what went on during my parents' marriage. I didn't know if there was never love there or if losing their youngest daughter in childbirth was the straw that broke the camel's back. All I knew was that by spring break, I still hadn't seen my father since June.

I guess he'd been looking for apartments in the last few weeks before Rose died. I don't know if it'd been for him or he'd been planning to kick Rose out, but that was the first thing Mom told me after she started crying when we went out to eat and she told me about the divorce. He didn't want the house or most of the things in it, he just wanted to get out. Not only was he leaving Mom, he was leaving her alone in a house full of bad memories.

I guess my relationship with her got better after that. I had never planned to go back home so much until she was alone. She didn't want to leave the house because it'd be too hard for her to find a place in Beach City.  She did her best, trying to keep the house free of dust and watering Rose's plants. But it wasn't really a life for her. she'd go to work weekdays then get home to that. I seriously thought about getting her a cat.

I went home for spring break. I knew that Opal was spending time with Pearl, and I was feeling a little on the fence about talking to her anyway, so I just sat home while Mom was at work. I tried to chip away at the cleaning. I'd vacuum the living room rug or throw our bedsheets in the laundry because there didn't seem to be anything else to do. While waiting for the laundry, I'd make lunch or start dinner, just so Mom could come home and relax. I didn't feel like watching tv and doing anything else I'd used to do seed weird.

Actually, I'd been avoiding going into my old bedroom unless I was changing or going to bed, not that I slept very well. It felt wrong for me to be in there. It felt like I was trying to sweep everything under the rug and pretend it never happened. I stood outside my door and stared in, then turned to look at the closed door beside it.

Rose's room. It was almost haunting. Every night that I was there I'd slept a wall away from the one room I never thought I'd be able to face alone again. Shaking my head, I reached for the doorknob and opened the door, closing my eyes and stepping in.

The reason I'd closed my eyes was so I didn't psyche myself out. Finally, once I'd guided myself inside and shut the door, I opened them.

I don't know what I looked at first. The empty bed in the corner piled high with stuffed animals? The plants in the window that desperately needed water? The pictures in frames around the room? Her with her friends, her with me, her with Greg... I stopped when I saw her nightstand. Placed on it were some things I'd never expected to see.

There was a book beside her lamp, whichever one she'd been reading last. Next to it was a glass, with signs that there was still water in it before. An ultrasound picture of Steven, so small yet the dark image seemed like a black hole, sucking all of the light from the room. In a frame, the last picture of Rose ever taken. She was holding Steven. It was taken probably half an hour before she died. And next to that, her phone. It was still plugged in.

Breathing sharply to try to keep from crying, I sat down on her bed and picked up her phone. I couldn't even believe how many notifications there were. I unlocked her phone, I already knew that the password was Steven. The first thing I did was open her texts. Her service apparently hadn't ended until close to September, So there were a lot of messages. Most of them were from various friends and classmates, either congratulating her on the baby or saying things like "You will be missed".  There was one message from me, an "I love you" from one night in the summer when I just wanted to hear some noise from her room. And there were loads from Greg. He'd kept texting her up until the day her service ended, and it wouldn't have surprised me if he was still texting that number. There were a lot of messages saying how much e missed her and updates on Steven. I read through all of them.

I didn't really read any of the social media notifications. I clicked on the apps just to clear them. I was crying enough already. It wasn't until after that that I thought to open her notes. She had lots of little things written down, almost like a diary. I opened the most recent one.

I can't wait to welcome Steven Quartz Universe into the world. I'm so proud of him. I already know I would do anything for him, even give my life if need be. I can't wait for Greg to be a father and Rainbow an aunt. I know that they'll love Steven just as much as I do.

I smiled and wiped the tears from my eye, then set her phone back down on the nightstand. And that night, in Rose's room, I slept more soundly than I had in months.