Chapter Seventeen: Sign

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AUTHOR'S POV  

Laurent is standing still...the look on his face as if he's just seen a ghost. Moments ago mama broke the news about Charles passing with Laurent being unable to say anything, and understandably so. He hasn't been in the best spirit lately. The only bright side was that he and Larry revealed their long time feelings for each other with Larry assuring him that he will be by his side as he goes through therapy as he works to get his mind out of the years it's been trained to think he wasn't worthy of real love for he is more than ready to give that to him. That was really what gave Laurent the strength to confront Charles for the final time. After thinking about his therapist's suggestion to decide what would be closure for him he decided that speaking to Charles is what he needs...now this. As mama looks at him her heart is splitting. She wasn't a part of he and Larry's conversation...but she knows her son. This was what he needed. She steps closer and when she's near to standing directly in front of him she whispers, "I'm so sorry my love" to which Laurent hears but is unable to reply. At least not right away. The words in his mind are scrambled and he isn't really sure what to say first. Larry eventually walks towards him with the same delicate pace and whispers that he's sorry too. When Laurent sees them standing in front of him and next to each other his focus begins switching. When they land back on mama he's finally able to speak...

Laurent: "Um, how...what...."

Completely flustered Laurent stops speaking to close his eyes and begin massaging his temples...

Mama: "It's oki son. Take a breath". 

Laurent does as instructed and when what he needs to say comes back to him...

Laurent: "How did it happen? I mean I know he was sick but...." *soft sigh* "I don't know what I'm trying to say". 

Mama: "I understand what you're trying to ask son". *pause* "His nurse told me that his vitals had been going down so they knew it was happening. Since she's been his primary nurse she was with him when he took his last breath. She could tell he was trying to hold on but she whispered to him that it was ok to let go". *pause* "Minutes later he was gone". 

As Laurent stands there thinking about all that he's heard he begins to feel conflicted emotions. On one hand, this was still his dad in spite of the abuse he inflicted on him so part of him is relieved that it was a gentle passing. On the other hand, he still feels anger and being unable to say all the things he needed to due to such a strong flashback of being hurt preventing that only increases his anger. He deserved to let that all out and now he doesn't have the chance to. With a voice filled with despair, "excuse me. I need to be alone". Laurent quickly turns away and heads for his room. Larry and mama solemnly watch him and as bad as they want to go after him to soothe his aching heart they leave him to so he can have time alone. When they hear the door shut they turn to look at each other...

Larry: "I can't believe this. He was so ready to finish his talk with him. I could see it in his eyes. If he had that moment it would have been so big for him". 

Mama: *soft sigh* "I agree son and it hurts my heart".

Larry: *nods* "Mine too". 

Mama: "I don't want to leave him right now so I would like to stay for a while". 

Larry: "We want you here mama. Can I get you anything"?

Mama: "I'll take some coffee if you have some made". 

Larry: "I'll make a fresh pot for you". 

Mama: "Thank you my love". 

Larry: "Welcome". 

Mama follows him to the kitchen and as Larry makes the coffee she sits at the table...thinking and thinking about her other half behind that bedroom door dealing with such pain. With her elbows placed on the table she quietly drops her face in her hands. Seconds later she feels Larry's hand on her back so she raises her head to look up at him. He sees the sadness behind her eyes and he realizes that she isn't only down because of Laurent, even though he's the primary reason, he can tell that she's experiencing her own emotions behind his passing. From the moment Laurent confessed on that recorder what Charles did to him mama can honestly say she's developed a level of hate for him. She's never felt so strongly about a person all her life...but there's nothing else one can feel for the person who hurt her son and his passing doesn't change that. When the coffee is done he pours them a cup and takes a seat across from her. It's mostly quiet between them because they don't want to talk about this when Laurent is only a room away so they tend to their own thoughts. Naturally, they're similar in nature. The unanswered questions are about the funeral service for him and if any of them think they will be able to attend, particularly Laurent. They're not even sure why this is something to even think about since they too have their feelings about him...but perhaps for Laurent it will help. Perhaps it wouldn't. They're certain that this talk with him would have been just what he needed and Larry can't help but wonder if Laurent will regress to his prior behaviors now. The silence and the power of their thoughts become too strong to remain quiet so Larry turns around to make sure Laurent isn't close by then turns back...

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