My Dominant My Everything(BDSM) Book 1 of 2 (EDITING)

Chapter 13

I don't know which pain was worse, the sun shining right in my eyes or the pain from crying for hours last night. Regardless I threw a pillow over my face just to briefly stop the pain without a second thought. When I felt a pair of arms wrap around me making my anxiety swell up against my chest. Repeatedly I had to remind myself that Kyle was in the past, and Quintin was who I shared a bed with.

"You feel tense again, did you have another nightmare?"

"Yes. I'm sorry for waking you, I know you must be tired still."

"Not really, I was just waiting for you to wake up before I got breakfast started."

"That's sweet, but you didn't have to wait for me to wake up to cook breakfast."

"I know, it's just I don't want you to wake up alone especially after last night. I wanted to be here for you when you woke up." He said, then he kissed my forehead and lips before putting on some clothes.

"I'm going to take a shower while you cook."

"Breakfast should be ready before your done. Do you want anything specific?"

"No. Anything will do." Once he finally left out to go to the kitchen, I let the bathroom steam up before I finally went in. It needed to be as hot as possible, so I can wash this disgusting feeling off me. It felt like my skin was burning, but it also felt sorta good which was weird and scary.

How many more months are you going to push off going to therapy? Do you want to get better or do you feel like you deserved that kind of torture? It's like you still hate yourself. Quintin won't judge you or treat you the same way. Eventually your going to have to heal. You don't have to do it now, healing takes time.

The little voice of reason in my head was right. I've been pushing off therapy too long, and the longer I wait the worse my condition is going to get. My PTSD has been getting worse and worse. And Quintin has been so helpful throughout this entire year, it's time for me to open up to him a bit.

The longer I stayed in the shower the deeper I thought about telling him some of the truth. I would tell him everything, but that might over load him too much. It's been an entire year and not once has he shown me red flags. I've seen this man angry and not once had he blacken out or snapped mentally. He's not perfect though. Nobody wants a perfect man. He has his flaws like everybody else, just not toxic flaws. Some people may think a year isn't enough time to get to know someone, that's true for some, just not in my case. I can't hold Kyle's actions over his head like he was the one to cause me this pain I have in my heart, and these marks that still scar my body.

The thought of that made my chest hurt. I forgot about the marks that covers part of my back. Maybe I do want to hold off on telling him everything. No. I refuse to back out now. If he can accept the hard truth about the way my life was before I met him than he can accept the scars on my body.

Finally I had made up my mind. I was going to tell him half now and half later on when I allow the rest to set in. A beautiful yellow dress was set on the bed along with a pair of heels.

Quintin was beyond sweet for this surprise. He must've remembered that my favorite color is yellow.

Without hesitation I went through the process of doing my hair before putting on the dress and adding a bit more accessories to keep myself from looking bland. Soon he called my name from the kitchen for breakfast.

I don't know why, but my heart was beating out of my chest. Anxiety was like my personal self sabotage.

"You look beautiful, I hope you enjoy breakfast." My response was caught in my throat as I looked at him. The yellow of his shirt made his eyes pop. His smile was heaven sent, I was speechless.