My Dominant My Everything(BDSM) Book 1 of 2 (EDITING)

Chapter 16

"I'm sorry, I'm sure you mean no harm, but I don't think I can handle that sort of situation right now. I haven't even coped with what I went through yet. Can you ask me in a few months."

I know it's been a year since we've met, we know we both love each other, but this would only complicate things for me.

"I respect your answer, I'll drop the subject. If you change your mind at any point, let me know."

Part of me couldn't process his reply. For once, my choices mattered to someone else, I felt respected and heard. The wave of emotions in that moment caught me off guard. He truly did make me feel safe with him. "I do want to give you what you want one day, but-"

"You never have to do anything you don't want to just to please someone else. You weren't born to be someone's slave or to follow everything you're told to do. You never have to agree to something just to keep me happy, your happiness should always be your first priority. I apologize for cutting you off, but this needed to be said, I'll never be upset over your personal choices, all I ask for is respect and the truth right now. You deserve to live your life at your own pace, so take as much time as you need to. I'll be by your side no matter what; the love I have for you is unconditional."

Quintin's words touched my heart. To be respected by a man so genuinely made tears form in my eyes. It felt ridiculous to be crying over something like this, yet it was so hard to hold them back.

"Thank you. I needed to hear that, I feel like everything will be better once I get some therapy." I've been avoiding therapy for a year. Maybe it's because I didn't want to open up to anyone else about what I went through, or maybe it was because I didn't want to unrepress everything else.

"I'll be there for you if you want me to, if not, I'll be silently supporting you through it. I love you, Nova."

I hate hearing that name, I wish things weren't so complicated so I could finally hear him say my name, though it was highly tainted by others. Not being able to be completely truthful to him made me sad, I'm sure he'd understand, since I'm only lying for my safety and everyone around him.

"Thank you, I love you too, Quintin." Lying my head in his lap, my mind began to wonder. I've never been filled with so much serenity before, gosh this feels so perfect.

"May I stroke your hair?"

"Yes, please," The constant consent makes everything feel so intimate. My life would've been so different if I hadn't met Kyle, though I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him, maybe my hell was a blessing and a curse. I love Quintin so much, he makes my heart hurt- in a good way of course.

The way his hands moved through my hair, massaging my scalp so gently, made me feel more comfortable than I've ever been before.

Loved, appreciated, seen, heard, acknowledged and respected.

That's how he made me feel. Everyday seemed like the first time I met him, I pray I never lose him or he ever falls out of love with me. I may sound seflish, or even illogical, but he means the world to me and it would be a new form of hurt to lose him.

"May I ask you something?"

"Of course,"

"Please, never leave me."

"No matter what happens, I'll never make you feel alone. I can't say we'll never split, it's not right to give so much false hope, but I can promise you, you'll never feel alone because I'll always be here for you."

"That's good enough," While he continued to stroke my hair, I slowly fell asleep in his lap. When I woke up, Quintin was taking me to his room. My eyes were open slightly, but I could see that he was gazing at me lovingly.