Aturdir (Matt Holt x Reader)

Sorry If You Know Me

The paladins spent days planning ways to get Y/N back. Countless hours throwing back and fourth possibilities, only for someone else to strike it down as too dangerous. Too time consuming. Too hopeless. No matter the plan, nothing even seemed close to possible.

Turns out, all of that time was wasted because Zarkon came to them first. In the middle of nowhere, the tyrant and his fleet had found them. If there was one good thing out of the millions of bad in this situation, it was that Zarkon brought Y/N to them. Y/N would be home soon, and that was all that mattered to Matt at this point. It seemed irrational, and so wrong for his character, but if Zarkon were to take over more of the universe, it wouldn't phase Matt as long as he had her back.

"I know what you're thinking." Pidge punched her brother as hard as possible, which, hardly pained Matt. "Don't do anything stupid."

"I won't." Matt muttered stiffly.

Pidge furrowed her brows. "You're lovesick." She fake gagged. "You haven't been acting normally, and I know you'll do something stupid to get her back."

Matt clenched his fists and took in a deep breath. Yeah, he'd admit, he hadn't been acting normally. But he knew what was happening to her in the Galra prison--the same things that happened to him, if not anything worse. He didn't want her to have to feel that any longer. He didn't want to miss her any longer. He was tired of living in a constant state of trepidation wondering if he'd ever see her again.

"I won't." He finally spat out.

"Good," Pidge said. "You stick with me."

That plan didn't last long. Pidge and Matt were separated practically seconds into the mission. While Matt was set on finding Y/N, Pidge and the rest of the Paladins were bound to taking Zarkon down. Even though the memories were horrible, Matt was able to break into the Galra ship without problem and navigate his way straight towards the prison. He cursed himself for running back down the halls he swore to never find himself in again, but he had to remind himself what it was for.

With the fight going on between Voltron and the Galra, the ship creaked and groaned each time it was hit. Matt struggled to peer through the window of each cell, searching desperately for the one face he would recognize out of hundreds. To Matt's dismay, no one here looked to be in good spirits. Obviously, he wasn't expecting to find anyone happy to be in the prison, but he'd hoped to find some glint of hope in their eyes. But, when he looked, everyone was stripped of any kind of faith they could possibly retain. At least Shiro had never given up when they were here. These people had given up.

When Matt approached the last door in the hall, his heart stopped. Unaccompanied in the middle of dark room was Y/N, laying on the floor, knees pulled to her chest. Seeing her there alone, afraid, shaking and in pain was enough to leave Matt completely paralyzed. Standing there frozen, all he felt was hatred of himself. He could have gotten her out sooner. He could have put himself in her place. He could have stopped her from leaving the green lion that day. Matt's entire body was numb.

During the time Y/N had been away, he had changed. He didn't feel things anymore. He didn't smile or laugh. He didn't look anyone in the eye. And he didn't know who his real self was anymore.

An alarm blared overhead and Matt retreated from his thoughts to face reality. Y/N had sat up from where she laid and was staring at Matt with wide, frantic eyes, her chest heaving up and down.

"Y-Y/N?" Matt whispered through a brittle voice. He could hardly believe what he was seeing. If by the odd chance this was a dream and he awoke just a few seconds from now, he'd punch straight through wall.

What surprised the rebel fighter the most was the cold look in her eyes. They were distant, almost as if there was no recognition of Matt behind them. Working away at the panel to the door, Matt would look back through the window every few seconds just to make sure she was still there. With shaky hands and cloudy vision, it was nearly impossible for him to hack the panel, but once he did, his heart nearly exploded.

The girl obviously saw her chance because she sprinted for the door the moment it opened, only to be caught in Matt's grasp.

"Get off!" She hollered, pushing Matt right off of her. She was a lot stronger than the last time they'd seen each other because that shove nearly put him through the opposing wall.

"Y/N? What was that for?" He asked sharply, wincing from the pain in his shoulder but also from the searing pain of betrayal. What had he done wrong?

"Who's Y/N?" The girl asked in confusion while scanning the halls, keeping an eye out for sentries.

"Y/N-That's you? How can you-" Matt stuttered.

The girl still stared at him at a complete loss for what was going on. All she knew was that someone just opened her cell and now she had a chance to escape. She didn't remember her own name, but if this guy was being honest, Y/N sounded like a pretty cool name.

"Listen, I don't remember anything." The girl snapped. "So, sorry if you know me, because I don't know you."

"How can you not-It's me!" Matt cried, trying to step closer but Y/N stepped an equal distance back. "It's me..."

"Can you get us out of here?" Y/N asked, completely ignoring Matt's sudden emotional collapse in the middle of the hall.

"That's what I'm here to do! I promised-"

"Good. Let's go." She grabbed Matt's arm and dragged him from the spot he stood completely unmoving. After a few minutes of dodging blasts and running around the ship at ridiculously high speeds, Matt came to his senses. Eventually, he took the lead and guided Y/N through the ship, eradicating any sentries in the way. After all, it was his job to protect her, to get her out safe, memory or not. After a couple of close calls, Matt found his way back to the small pod he'd taken from the castle to the Galra ship. He pushed Y/N inside and fired it up, fleeing back to the castle as quickly as he could.

"Woah!" Y/N shouted over the coms. "You guys are Voltron? The Voltron?"

"Is that Y/N?!" Lance shouted back.

"Sort of-" Matt immediately said back. "We'll talk back at the castle." He looked to Y/N sadly, just wishing she could remember him. Every night, Matt thought about how good the moment he found her would be. But, all of that was destroyed. She didn't even remember her own name, let alone him. His heart hurt.