Only Mine | Vkook

I don't love him

Edited by 💜😍@taetrash8397😍💜

I touched where he slapped me. I didn't care about the cuts because a burning feeling deep inside is overpowering the physical pain. I couldn't for the life of me figure out the source. But it hurt. A lot.

I slid down to the floor, pain coursing through my veins. I'm not sure whether it's physical or mental. Shame and guilt are eating me alive. Why did I do that? I dry humped and kissed my best friend. I almost fucked him. I shouldn't do any of that. I wasn't supposed to. I shouldn't think of a male like that. It's so wrong.

And why do I feel like I lost him forever. He hates being my mate, anyone would. I just forced myself on him. I can still hear his pained sobs. I'm such a sick bastard.

I gasped when I felt someone touch my shoulder, crouching down beside me.
Suga hyung.

I expected him to lash out on me or punch me, but he remained silent, just observing me. His silver hair falling on his sharp eyes. Why is he so calm? He should punch me like Namjoon hyung did. I deserve that. I thought he's mad at me. Ever since I marked tae, he never spoke to me never even acknowledged me when I was standing in the same room. I ruined everything between the boys and me.

"Hyung.. I-I"

"I know what happened."

He calmly voiced out, patting my shoulder reassuringly with a concerned look that I have never seen before in his eyes. Why is he being nice to me. Why isn't he punching me yet?

"I-I.."

I covered my face, trying to swallow the big lump forming in my throat. I couldn't find words to say for the first time in my life. I wanted to turn back time, to reset everything. To erase things I wasn't supposed to do. To get my best friend back. To get my taetae hyung back. I want him back.

"It's okay jungkook ah.. It's okay to cry sometimes. Let it all out."

Suga hyung held my defeated gaze. I felt helpless all of sudden. I felt vulnerable under his kind gaze. I wanna tell him everything I'm feeling. But I can't. The words just aren't coming out. The guilt I felt towards a certain omega is burning my soul. I always ruin everything. How can I hurt such a delicate thing.

"It's not okay hyung. I-I keep hurting him. I forced him into submission. I always do. I - I did unspeakable things to him. He- he's always crying because of me. I'm a sick bastard."

I looked down to the floor, choking on my words. Never in my life had I wanted to cry this bad. I don't even know where this is all coming from. It's like something is painfully stuck in my throat. I don't know why it hurts so much. But with every time my mind goes back to taehyung's big teary eyes, the pain doubles in intensity.

"It can happen to any mated Alpha. It's not entirely your fault. Being possessive over your mate is a natural feeling. But I'm not accepting the violence you used with kai. You almost killed the guy."

He explained staring at my defeated form with soft eyes.

I have never shared my thoughts with anyone other than namjoon hyung and tae before. I don't even know why I'm telling him this Crap. But oddly enough I feel relieved.

"It's not normal. I shouldn't do it like that. I shouldn't be a monster like that. He shouldn't be my mate at all. But I can't help it. He- he drives me insane, hyung. My inner alpha is crazy over him. I don't know what I'd do next time if this keep happening."