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to lee daehwi,
i won't tolerate your feisty attitude towards me though, no, i'm sorry. daehwi-ah, thank you for treating me so badly that i have changed myself way back four years ago. as you know, i am so shy to put up myself with you guys that's why i don't know much about my brother's friends. i only know you, guanlin and jihoon. i just met jinyoung a few months ago.
you know daehwi, i was a bad student. i have low grades and i never study. i have no dream at all. i have no ambition for myself in the near future until now. thanks to you, thanks for blowing me off that day, four years ago, i made myself change. i studied hard, improve my grades, and everything to make my parents proud. we were friends back then though so i thought that you blew me off because i am not a good kid at all.
yeah i got shocked when you suddenly did that, saying bad stuffs about me. that hurt me a lot. i suddenly changed because i want get your attention, might as well notice my achievements after i got the first rank in our batch during seventh grade. that was clearly four years ago but heck you still treated me the same. the truth is that, when i first saw you in the first day of school, i judged you for being so quiet and an introvert but i was wrong, when i saw you being loud around guanlin and jihoon with another bunch of handsome guys which happened to be my brother's squad, i guess i was too harsh. i never knew you are an extrovert, you were so lively and cheerful, unlike me. an introverted freak.
as an introverted freak like me, i tried so hard to fit in our developing society with lots of lots of trends. trying to be accepted in a group of teenagers who loves fashion, gadgets, music styles and such. but anyways, this introverted freak ranked the first one in our batch but i never thought you would beat me into it. congratulations, i let you take over my place.
the truth is that, yeah, i let you own it. you deserve it since you work pretty much harder than i am and you're smarter.
daehwi, for those four years, i admit i was hurt, i tried to be strong in front of you and acted like i don't take your insults and bad judgements about me. i ignored all of them because that wouldn't change anything, if i let myself get affected with those, you're just make it all worse and much harder for me. i changed myself for the better daehwi, i took you as my inspiration for what i am now. i let you do anything, and i was just a coward for not fighting you back.
during the last fours months of this school year, i'm glad i took the fight seriously, i slapped you, i punched you, i choked you to death and never did let you hurt me again. but me, myself, i hurt it. i looked at jinyoung and fantasy him, i was in love but with the wrong person. i did the same about not letting myself get affected with the situation, i lied that i was okay but i'm totally not, not at all.
i'm sorry i was a bad girl that you blew off for four years, but this girl you were friends with, really admires you.. thank you for changing myself, i will treasure the salty moments and memories with you.
we'll see each other again soon but i wrote this letter to confess something. i guess you already know,..
lee daehwi, i hope this letter would change your mind. i won't be seeing you guys often, i love you all, and i'm gonna miss you. take care of my brother while i'm gone, and when i come back soon, i just want you to know that this status quo will benefit us both.
this once a bad girl that you turned into a good one, really admires you..
sincerely yours, kim joohyun
ps. i'm good at hiding everything right?
see you soon lee daewi, i'm gonna miss our fights.
[ daehwi ]
i finished the letter as i read it for the second time around and this time in front of my hyungs and guanlin. somi got mad at me and blew me off today, i know i did this mistake but i never thought joohyun would actually do this.
“do you know what happened to you?” i heard daniel hyung asked me. judging by his expressions towards me, i know he is disappointed.
“i-i fucked up?” i asked.
“exactly!” he said.
“bro chill, daehwi didn't know, joohyun didn't even tell us anything about this.” i heard seongwoo hyung pointed out.
“so i was right,” jaehwan hyung smirked. “it wasn't one-sided love at all.” he added sipping his milk tea. “i knew daehwi, i knew about her feelings.” he confessed and i aggressively looked at him with my brows narrowed.
“why didn't you tell me sooner hyung?” i asked.
“and why you didn't tell me sooner that you like her?” he asked me back. oh damn he has a point. “and who are you to know about her romantic feelings about you when you blew her off and bully her? duh daehwi.” he added. i sighed as i looked at the letter.
“did she do this on purpose, confessing to me by the time she already left?” i asked almost in tears. damn this hurts, it really hurts.
“unfortunately,” jinyoung smiled. “but hey, at least she already knew about yours.”
“ya, don't give us that face, go and find a way to take her back. don't just sit there and sulk. call her or something.” jihoon hyung said pushing me off the couch. i groaned in pain since i fell on the floor, they're so mean.
i stood up as i dusted myself, jihoon hyung's right, i should find a way to get her back.
