Chapter 16: Is it wrong to be loved?

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That afternoon, Namjoon and Seokjin went to buy some new clothes for their youngest member. The eldest hyung want to make up for scaring the maknae. Suga was in his genius lab, try to distract himself by producing new song for the group but eventually we all know that he will sleep later on. Taehyung borrowed Jimin's ipad to continued watching the anime that was left earlier. Jimin and Hoseok were in their room. The pair read light novel and manga to keep them occupied. Jungkook on the other hand was told not to leave his room while Jin and Namjoon gone out, as per Jin's order as usual.

J Hope's p.o.v

Each and every letter on the book that I have read, none of it seems to be registered inside my head. I sigh. I close the book and put it aside on the table lamp in between our bed. When I'm about to get off the bed, Jimin avert his eyes from the manga that he was reading and jerk his head up to look at me. "Where're you going?".

"Hmm?". I rise my eye brows in his direction. "Ah, no. I can't take in the words in my brain when I was reading. I think I might as well have something to drink and let myself relax for a while, maybe taking in some fresh air is a good idea". Jimin stare at me for a moment before giving me a nod of approval and continue to read his book. I stand up from my bed and walk towards the door. Without giving a slightest glance at my roommate, I exited the room.

I head to the kitchen when I stop suddenly infront of a certain door. I turn to face it and give it a few second glance. After satisfy myself just looking at the front of the door, I continue to walk to the kitchen. Right now in my hand, I've got two mug full of melon milk. 'I bet he's thirsty', I thought to myself and walking straight to the previous door. I give a couple of knock and push the door open to let myself in. "Jungkook-ah, I'm coming in ok?".

Just beside the window, I can see our maknae sit cross legged on the floor with a huge album that he hug loosely on his chest. He look at me with a slight of curiosity. If I look at him closely, I can see an invisible cage around him with his leg being tied up from one end to one end of the cage, trapping him. Letting no opening for him to escape. Well, it was what it seems to me. Not that he was being caged or anything. Jin hyung may be quite a funny guy and likes to joke around infront of the camera but when it was just with us, you can see that he is a responsible one because he is the eldest amongst us. Unlike Namjoon-ssi who is responsible of speaking for the member and being the group leader, Jin hyung was given the role of being the member's mother (while Suga's role to be the father).

It's a huge different actually. As important as being the group leader, the role of being the mother of the family is more important that those of a leader. It keeps the seven odd boys with different personality in balance. Their physique, visual, health and ect. In short, Jin hyung is the centre most person in the circle. The control tower of BTS family. Joonie...well, he can't cook nor can he manage the money but he can understand others feeling better. That's why making him the leader instead of the father is an excellent choice.

Hmph...as for me, my role is to brighten up the atmosphere and be their sunshine. I sit next to Jungkook and hand him the mug. "Melon milk. I thought that you might feel thirsty". He take the mug off my hand and look at me while having a sip. "It's delicious", he smile at me. "Thanks". Seeing him happy makes my heart warm. I concentrate on the album that he have on his lap and take it. "Did you just look at this just now?". I flip the pages one by one. There's a lot of pictures of when we were still a trainee. It bring back memories.

"I thought that looking at it will regain back something that I lost. But it doesn't help much though". He sigh, closing his eyes. "And I doesn't really have anything to do in my room. Much bigger and spacious that my previous room".

Yeah, it's definitely much bigger that the old one. I gotta admit it. Regaining something that is lost is really hard to get. Especially memories. I stroke his hair as gently as I could, making his body drawing near towards me. "You really like it when someone play with your hair, huh".

"Not just someone. It because it was you guys that I like being touch on the hair. It's very relaxing. You know, like petting a cat". He lean his head on my shoulder and I put my arm around him for support. Right now, he is in a very fragile state and not to be put on work. More over, he's more of a kid than he is at his age. Just who did this to you Jeon Jungkook...? "I'm scared".

"What?". I look at my side where I can see his face. He have this pretty sad expression and at the corner of his eyes built a small amount of tear which are ready to be sliding down his cheecks. I sacrifices my sleeve to wipe out those hanging tears hush him. Telling him that everythings gonna be okay. It doesn't work much anyway.

"I'm scared that if I somehow open my eyes the next morning and remember everything while forgetting the memory that we had since then, forgetting every last moment of the incident back at the hospital, this house and you guys while taking care of me with such love and patient. It would be as painful as it is for having my memory getting rob and the cycle continue to repeat itself. It hurting me. I never knew anything about the present me and the other's been doing and how they taking care of me ever since. But the me that I am now know that you guys have been such a very wonderful family and kind towards me. I love my hyungs with all my heart. And that what worries me. If I remember and forget at the same time but you guys love me as it was when I couldn't recall any of it, wouldn't it hurt you more than it hurts me? Hyung...wouldn't it'll be painful for you?". He sob, tears come running down his face while manage to say every last bit that worries him.

Poor soul. Does he always keep his feeling pent up in those little heart of his? No wonder he'll break easily. I try to calm him and still wiping his tears with my sleeve, shifting him so that he was infront of me. Leaning his head on my chest and snaking my arms around his slender waist. It must have been very hard for him to go through all this hardship all by himself.

"It's ok Jungkook-ssi. Don't cry... I know how you feel but let me ask you this. Is it wrong to be loved?". He silent but you can still hear him sob. "Loving and be loved by someone is never wrong in the first place. Whether you remember it or not, our love for you is still the same and never did we change it ever since. And I think, our love for you still keep on growing little by little. You know why?". Jungkook feel very curious so lift his head face up and see me smile sincerely to him. "That because you're are still the same Jeon Jungkook that we know and love". Hearing that, he let the tension that built on his muscle relax upon my body. And I can hear a feint 'thank you' escape from his lips. A few second after that, he went into a deep slumber.

"Good night, Jungkook-ssi". That is the only moment me and the maknae spend time just the two of us.

On the other side of the door...

'Hmm...thanks to Hobi hyung, that one thing has been settle. So for now, Jungguk-ah won't have to be confuse all over again about our feeling towards him. It must've be great having his role play exchange with mine but that is so not suit with my personality. So I'll just stick with mine until it come in handy'. He give a few glance at the door before he walk away.

Author's note:

Hey ARMYs💕! I hope you enjoy reading the new chapter and tell me what cha think. Is it good or perhaps not to your liking. I don't know. But thanks for the votes. Really appreciate it so much. Any comment, just put it on the comment box below👇 and don't forget to vote for support. Thanks! I really love you guys♡

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