My Artbook Of Cringe #3 {COMPLETE}

I don't want your pity.

I tried to remain positive, l really did. I tried to fake my best smile, and it worked!

But there is always a time in which it all comes to an end. You realize there's nothing really more to do than to cherish the moments in the past.

She's gone.

I just came from the hospital. It's close to midnight. I got a call a few hours ago from her phone, and I smiled, thinking she was finally out of the hospital since she had been there for almost two weeks since the day she fell unconscious on the floor.

I was happy for a second but all that happiness and relief went away in an instant at the realize that it wasn't her voice talking to me.

It was her mom...

She told me what had happened.

My already worried, pulsing heart shattered into pieces.

My eyes began tearing up and I felt a lump start to form at my throat.

One of my life's meaning had literally been snatched away earlier than imagined.

I really don't know what to say, or do now.

She told me a few days ago through a video phone call, that she wanted me to be happy, even after she was gone.

She said "You don't die for your loved ones, you live for them."

Then she laughed it off and told me she had stole the quote from an anime on Netflix.

At the moment, it honestly was pretty funny.

But now, hearing those words in my head make me wanna curl up in a ball and fucking cry.

A friend of mine here on Wattpad surprisingly caught the fact that I wasn't truly happy and tried to help me, but I kinda shut them out to prevent the news that Red_Rose_Love, my.... ex-girlfriend, whom was at the hospital, from spreading.

But now what's the point. She isn't coming back. She's dead.

A hemorrhoid did it.

I wasn't ready.

I didn't get to say goodbye.

I didn't expect something like this too early.

She taught me how to truly smile.

......

But I'm not gonna fall apart. It certainly is hard to move on, but Ross wouldn't have wanted me to give up on life and fall into depression.

All she wanted in her life was to make me happy, and I'm not gonna throw her only dream away simply because she's resting in peace who knows where.

I love her.

She told me she wanted to see me from heaven finding love with another person and being happy (she's Catholic).

I won't disappoint her.

Life is short, and it could end any moment.

I cannot waste my life crying over something that can't be fixed.

I will live happy in her memory and will move on. (Eventually)

Also, one more thing.

Last week she gave me her password to her account.

She said she had something she wanted me to post if she didn't get the time to do so.

I haven't logged in because I thought it would not be necessary, but apparently it now is.

So yeah.

I'm afraid of what I might find.

I can barely think clearly from all this anguish I feel.

Look, guys, I'm just informing y'all, and I'm sorry if I ruined your day... But this is something I can't simply keep all to myself.

I'm so sorry if I'm not a good friend.

I'm so sorry I'm so selfish and not thinking about how you guys will feel after reading this.

I'm so sorry...