My Artbook Of Cringe #3 {COMPLETE}

Red

Picture at the top is her. It was taken in my graduation day, later during prom to be exact. This was like at the end of May. (The picture will be deleted in a few hours to protect her identity)

I miss her, a lot, but I won't let that stop me from living my life at its fullest.

She's not gone, she's still with me, and I know that because i know she owns a place in my heart.

There's this song I heard. Every lyric fits with me and Red. Every. Single. Word.

So yeah... TheOneAndOnlyDragon made this in her honor.

Thanks friend... It means a lot.

Earlier today I tried to take my mind off of this, but always ended up getting reminded by someone or something that Red wasn't coming back.

*Sigh*

I really wish I would have gotten at least one more day. It would have been enough for me to say my goodbye.

Honestly, I won't be feeling really good emotionally wise, but that won't stop me from doing the things I love and that make me happy.

I know at times I'm gonna seem all "a-okay", but that doesn't mean I necessary feel that way. All it takes to trick people into thinking I'm okay is a bunch of these "XD, X3, :), :D, :3, :³", and adding exclamation marks. Just symbols, that's all it takes.

I kind of use it as an advantage to prevent y'all from worrying.

If I'm making you worry right now, don't feel that way. This is the last chapter I'm gonna be posting based around the grieving around Red's death.

I was thinking... Maybe I should go on hiatus and use my other secret account more. I literally don't have much motivation to stay here. I even took into consideration deleting my account, but I'm not gonna do that. I cherish my art books too much.

So yeah, I don't know if I should leave or not.

My closest friends are inactive, and I'm starting to feel lonely already. I kinda feel like I keep getting in the way of other people's life.

Maybe I'm just self loathing, or maybe that's the truth.

What if that was the truth?

What if I was an outcast that didn't belong here?

Why am I even here? My reasons I started Wattpad are disappearing, I'm not kidding when I say that.

I can't find a purpose.

And that is slowly destroying me.