My Artbook Of Cringe #3 {COMPLETE}

This chapter makes me incredibly anxious, please go easy on me

Well, some of you might remember of my relationship I had like a month ago with my ex boyfriend, and how I was to one to end the relationship after realizing how little he and I truly knew each other, and how I considered him like a friend only. (Edit: he is also homophobic and talked shit about someone I care about)

Well... After I did that I felt super guilty for like a month. I felt like I had played with his feelings and made him feel bad. He did sent me messages a week after breaking up saying how I was the only girl who ever made him feel the way he did, and he even sent me the song "lucid dreams". That only made me feel like shit.

Here's the song lyrics. You'll see why I would feel like shit.

Anyway, after a while of regret he and i began talking to each other. He and I are still friends. Then he told me something that literally hurt so much.

Like, it broke my heart, even if I do consider him only like a friend.

He told me he was in fact happy I broke up with him. I felt played, and made me realize how empty his words had been. I kinda felt some trust issues starting to arise towards anyone who told me i love you. I was also mad I had been feeling guilty for what I did when in reality he never really cared.

To this day, I have a soft spot for him but I do hate him.

It's like a feeling that says, "you're my friend and I don't wanna lose you ever but I fucking hate you".

Anyway, through the process of healing, one of my closest friends was there at my side throughout band camp.

Her and I eventually grew feelings for each other. I didn't really know she had feelings for me, but I did flirt with her a lot with gay jokes and with blowing her a kiss with my middle finger when her and I got into a competitive conversations.

I had grown to like her a lot.

Surprisingly, she had also grown to like me a lot and talked about me with my closest friends (which are basically like 10 people that I hang around with the entire time) so yeah.

I was extremely oblivious to all of that until she asked me to be her girlfriend on Thursday.

So yeah. I'm in a relationship. With her.

I just wanted talk about this, because I wanted your opinions on this.

I'm scared think some of you will think that I don't take relationships seriously or that I'm a slut, but it does feel good to lift this weight from my chest.