Chapter 20: Remember

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"Remember

I will still be here

As long as you hold me

In your memory"

-Josh Groban

*

Sebastian and Toby were so shocked that they looked at each other directly for the first time in hours.

"What do you mean, Lily doesn't remember us?" the first breathed, his hazel eyes behind the square glasses that Lily loved so much.

Felicity sighed. "I know it sounds crazy" she said, massaging her temples. "But believe me, I showed her all of your pictures and talked about you... Nothing!"

"Her brain deleted our whole existence..." Sebastian looked more broken than ever. He leaned his elbows on the table and slightly bent his shoulders and neck. The picture of defeat. "Is it permanent or...?"

Felicity shook her head. "Doctor Sial said she will remember everything in time. We just need to help her doing so."

Toby, who had remained silent until that moment, took a deep breath. "But, is she okay?" he asked.

Felicity turned towards him and studied his face. His amber eyes were completely switched off, as if every joy, hope and happiness had been sucked out of him. For the first time since the accident, Felicity was glad that Lily didn't remember who he was because seeing him in that state would have hurt her.

"Besides this and an annoying headache, yes, Toby, she is okay" she replied and put her hand on his. Her words seemed to have given him some comfort. 

"I need to see her" Sebastian said. "Maybe she will--"

"No" Felicity interrupted him. "Not yet. Lily needs to rest. She's already confused enough without us stressing her out. I will drive her to London tomorrow morning. You two should go back home too, I will keep you constantly posted."

After a long silence, Toby whispered "You are right."

"Yeah." Sebastian got up. "I'll go pack my stuff. See you later."

Felicity's eyes followed him, walking like a lost soul, his head down, hands in his pocket.

"He must be struggling not to pour out his feelings and run to Lily" she thought.

Toby didn't move a muscle, his eyes staring off. Felicity was sure that Lily's accident wasn't the only thing haunting him, but didn't dare to ask. She wasn't his friend like Lily was, after all.

"Toby, if you don't want to travel to London with Sebastian, you can borrow my car" she offered. "I could rent one."

For a few seconds, he seemed not to have heard her, then replied "I will leave by train this evening. Don't worry, I'm okay." He got up and took his mobile phone out of his back pocket. "But thanks."

Felicity decided to say the one thing she knew Lily would have said to him, if she was there and in her right mind. "It wasn't your fault, Toby. Whatever was the reason why Sebastian got pissed, Lily knows that nothing you do or say could ever hurt her. She wouldn't want you to feel guilty."

Toby glanced at her, swallowed and kept tapping on his phone. "I should go now" he said, putting the phone back in his pocket. "Please tell Lily that..."

"What?"

He took a deep breath, then closed his eyes for a moment and raised a hand. "Forget it. Talk soon." And off he went.

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