Chapter 39: Stars

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"If you can hold the stars in place

You can hold my heart the same

Whenever I fall away

Whenever I start to break

So here I am, lifting up my heart

To the one who holds the stars"

-Skillet

*

After the longest and warmest shower ever I went to my bedroom, that was full of canvases that I still hadn't had the chance to pack and send to my editor. I tripped on one of them.

"Ouch! Shit!" I exclaimed, hopping towards my dresser and taking something to wear out of the drawers.

I rubbed my wet hair with the towel, sitting on my bed, and I noticed that the thumb nail of my right foot was slightly bleeding. I snorted and got up.

"Felicity! I shouted, walking outside the room, wearing just a white undershirt and pink culottes shorts. "Felicity, I need a patch. Do you have one?"

I knew Felicity was grading papers on the sofa, but she didn't reply. Frowning, I speeded up and entered the living room.

"Fel--"

I stopped.

Felicity was indeed in the living room, standing by the sofa. With Toby. Silence fell and they both looked at me.

My heart skipped a beat and my breath became heavy. I couldn't take my eyes off Toby's, unwilling to believe that he was really there. He was wearing black jeans and a long-sleeved grey shirt, there were still wrinkles around his eyes and some white strings in his brown hair, but I had honestly never seen him this handsome and in good health. Maybe because of the stars in his eyes.

He looked at me from head to toe, observing my body with interest. When he met my eyes again, our energy kicked in, bonding us with an unprecedented power.

Nobody did or said anything for a while, it was just me looking at Toby and Toby looking at me in silence. Until Felicity spoke.

"Erm, I... I think I'm going to have a long, long walk with Sherlock" she murmured. She went to take the leash and opened the front door. "Come on, Sherlock!" The dog obeyed and ran outside with her, leaving Toby and me alone.

"Hi, Lily" he said some seconds later, his sweet voice warming my heart and every cell of my body.

I could not find something to say, even something simple like "hi", that was a word too short and insignificant to express what I was feeling. At least, I was not trembling. I just looked at him in silence, enjoying the sound of his voice and the sight of the face that I loved so much.

Toby took a few steps forward and I noticed he was holding a long rolled paper. He cleared his throat. "I wanted to show you something" he said and unrolled the paper, revealing a huge drawing of an architectural project. When I didn't comment, he explained "It's a library. I was asked to design the internal of a new library they are building here in London. Look." He came closer and indicated the vault ceiling design. "The ceiling will be painted in frescos and I thought that the best subject for it would be... stars. Like in your artworks." I stared at him, still incapable of speaking, and he stared back at me. "Your work inspired mine" he whispered. "So much that I chose to leave my business - and the people connected to it - in the US and focus on this project for a while. Here in London. Indefinitely."

I swallowed, my eyes filling with tears, and he put the paper on a chair. "Lily" he breathed. "I am not good with words. What I am trying to say is... I have been an idiot. I am an idiot. I should have... No, no, I shouldn't have..." He nervously laughed, rubbing his beard and blushing. "I don't know what happened" he shook his head. "I don't know why it happened. I've never loved Amanda... I've always loved you." He paused, looking me straight in the eye. "Only you. From day one."

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