Eyes full of stars | ✔️

Chapter 25: Goodbye my lover

"You touched my heart, you touched my soul.

You changed my life and all my goals."

-James Blunt

*

Felicity, Lily and Sherlock left for Devon a few days later. They travelled to Exeter by train, stayed two days at Felicity's parents' house, then they rented a car to reach Budleigh Salterton.

When the three of them entered the bed & breakfast they had stayed for the last couple of summers already, Felicity and Lily took a deep breath, feeling at home. Mrs. Clara Fitzpatrick, the owner, welcomed them with her usual warmth.

They had always called the adorably sweet and elderly landlady "Mrs. Jennings", because she was pretty much identical to the lively character from Sense and Sensibility. She was kind and sweet, but had a tendency to meddle in other people's lives and embarrass them with her comments. Lily and Felicity loved her like she was their aunt or grandmother and wouldn't have changed her for the world.

"My girls!" she squeaked after hugging them, the hundreds of bracelets on her arms jingling. "My sweet and pretty girls! I'm so happy that you have come here this summer too!" She turned towards Felicity and took her hands, admiring her body like a grandmother would do. "You lost weight, Felicity! Oh, your hair is so bright, I've never seen a colour brown like yours!" She turned towards Lily and caressed her face. "And Lily! Always as beautiful as a porcelain doll. Have you finally found a boyfriend?"

Felicity saw Lily's face become redder than red, Mrs. Clara emitted squeaking sounds. "Oh, I knew it, I knew it! No man could ever resist this face and this body!" She handed them the key to their double room, "Whoever he is" she added, "he's the luckiest man on planet Earth" and winked at Lily.

"Whoever they are" Felicity thought.

After Mrs. Clara petted Sherlock and gave him a biscuit, the three of them went to their room to prepare for the beach, that they reached that same afternoon. The feeling of laying down on a beach towel and sunbathe touching the sand and hearing the sound of the sea waves gave Felicity a new life. Lily didn't like to stay under the sun for too long, she would always go and swim in the sea with Sherlock, pausing to warm up and read a chapter of her book, while the dog rested under the sun, his tongue out.

Felicity observed that her friend was glowing, like she was a glass window that had been dirty in dust for years and now it was clean again, the sunlight coming through it. The only other time she had seen Lily like that was on the day she had caught her and Sebastian almost having sex on their living room sofa, that's why Felicity felt the need to ask the inevitable question.

"Tell me the truth" she said when Lily, her skin still wet of saltwater, turned another page of her book. "Have you had sex with Toby?"

Lily jumped and blushed violently for the second time that day. "Felicity!" she exclaimed, shocked. "What the fuck?!"

Felicity sighed and sat upright. "Come on! I know that something happened in his house! The two of you alone in an unfurnished house for a night? And now you looking like the happiest woman alive? Something MUST have happened!"

Lily closed her book and she sat upright too. "Felicity, enough" she murmured, lowering her eyes. "I already told you what we did and said in his house. And this is all that happened: NOTHING!" She tossed the book on her bag and got up. "It's hot today. I need another swim." And, followed by Sherlock, she ran towards the sea.

***

The problem was, after weeks of feeling basically nothing, I was now feeling too much. I was literally overwhelmed by mixed feelings, I would be angry one minute and sad one minute later, then happy, excited, calm, afraid, nervous... until I would simply find myself confused to the bone, unable to distinguish real feelings from fake ones.