Silence is the worst thing (Emison)

Chapter 21

Chapter 21
"So what exactly happened with Jason?" Hanna blurted out after about thirty seconds of an awkward silence. Alison and Cece had left to catch up and most probably gossip while Emily was left with Hanna, Spencer and Aria who probably had an over-abundance of questions.
"Han, now probably isn't the time." Spencer motioned towards the blonde.
"No it's okay." Emily smiled at Hanna's interest and she knew that the topic would come up eventually anyway.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Hanna continued.
"I was trying to forget about it I guess." Emily had never really told anyone since it all had happened and she wanted to keep the memory where it belonged, in the past.
It was hard enough telling Alison but to tell others was a considerable challenge.
Alison kind of forced it out of her, it just fell out accidentally but with the other girls it just never came up and Emily assumed she would never be ready, so instead she repressed and attempted to forget.
"When did it happen?" Aria murmured.
"About a year ago." The memory was still vivid in the back of Emily's mind and it was then that she realised, she might not be able to forget but she could at least move on.
"Is that why you didn't... talk?" Spencer had been trying to figure out for too long why Emily was silent for the first couple of months at school and she was beginning to think that this might have been the reason.
"Yes, I never knew what to say to anyone after what happened and after a while I just didn't speak." Emily watched her friends drink their coffee, they all seemed slightly on edge and she couldn't understand why, she assumed it was because of all the caffeine they were consuming.
"Did you know who Alison was when you met her?" Hanna seemed to ask the question that Spencer and Aria were thinking because they immediately shot their heads to Emily, waiting for her answer.
"Not at all, she was just another girl until I had to do an assignment with her."
"Oh yeah that was the biology one! She wouldn't stop whinging you know? For so long she was like, wah wah I have to work with some mute loser!" Hanna rambled and instantly covered her mouth when she finished speaking. Spencer and Aria slapped Hanna's arms in unison but it seemed it was too late.
"It's okay, I was acutely aware of how Alison felt about working with me." Emily attempted to relax her friends. It was obvious at first Alison wasn't keen on working with her; she expressed that just fine on her own.
"If it's any consolation, after a while she stopped whinging, in fact she spoke rather highly of you. That's when I started to suspect something was going on." Hanna said proudly as she looked over at Spencer and stuck her tongue out playfully.
"Oh leave it. She was with Noel at the time; it was a valid hypothesis to think she was just friends with Emily." Spencer raised her arms in defeat and rolled her eyes in unison. Emily and Aria exchanged looks as Spencer and Hanna continued their banted and began chuckling together.
"She was never really with Noel! They just made out a lot in public. Sorry." Hanna quickly directed to Emily before turning back to Spencer. "You know Ali was different the minute she bumped into Emily. There's so much chemistry between them that you couldn't pull it apart with any force of the universe."
Spencer puckered her lips as if thinking about what Hanna had said, it was true even with Spencer's logically thinking the way Emily and Alison acted when they were together was different.
"She was the first person I spoke to." Emily said as she broke Spencer and Hanna from their bickering. The three girls looked at Emily with astonishment; though it made sense for Emily to open up to Alison first it was mildly surprising.
"Not even your parents?" Spencer asked as she slowly sipped at her coffee, trying to savour every last drop she had.
Emily shook her head.
"Wow." Aria chuckled and smiled at Emily.
"Well what was the first thing you said to her then?" Hanna asked curiously.
Emily looked over towards the blonde and smiled.
"Look I'm at my parents for the week. Just give me a ring if you need somewhere to crash alright?" Cece offered Alison a final time before she pulled her car up at the hospital drop off point.
"Thanks Cece but I want to stay close to Emily for the time being." Alison smiled with gratitude at her best friend and moved to give her a quick hug. Usually the older blonde would have made a snide remark about Alison ditching her for someone else but the way she spoke of Emily was enlightening and she didn't want to, for the first time ever, make Alison feel bad for choosing someone else over her.
"Okay well don't forget to take careful of yourself too." Cece hugged Alison back before watching the blonde hurriedly opened the car door and exited the car.
"I will." She replied before smiling softly at her best friend, smiling back Cece quickly flashed the blonde a wink.
"Now go see your girl before you go crazy." Cece chuckled at Alison's anticipation, the blonde was so jittery from being away from Emily that she was practically shaking, not that the amount of coffee she had helped either.
Cece watched as Alison shut the door and headed in the hospital, even the blonde's walk had changed. What was once an over-confident sway of Alison's hips had changed to a modest and gentle walk. Cece chuckled to herself before pulling away from the curb.
Alison was so keen to see Emily again that she was almost running through the hospital. Tapping her foot impatiently she waited for the elevator doors to ping open and after what felt like an eternity she heard the shudder and shake of gears grinding together to open the doors.
When Alison made it to Emily's floor she almost ran to her private room, before reaching for the handle she attempted to catch her breath so hide the fact that she had been rushing.
Opening the door slowly she half expected to find Emily asleep but when she let herself in she found four sets of eyes on her.
"Did you run here?" Hanna laughed and Aria and Spencer soon followed. Emily smiled up at Alison, happy to see her again she tried to raise her hand as she had missed her touch.
"Something like that." Alison giggled as she quickly moved to Emily's side and took her.
"I missed you." Emily murmured when Alison leant into give her a sweet kiss.
"I missed you too." She replied, squeezing Emily's hand comfortingly.
"I can't get over how cute you two are." Hanna giggled again as Alison and Emily looked towards the blonde in unison. Emily rolled her eyes before letting out a small yawn.
Not too long after Alison had left a nurse had come into give her set of medication and it was finally beginning to take an effect, her eyes were feeling heavy and weak and the pains in her body were slowly subsiding again.
She could barely feel anything at all except for Alison's hand on her own. For a while she could feel the stitches in her stomach holding her deep cut and stab wound together, she could feel sharp pains on her cheek, neck and wrists.
The amount of pain had taken a toll on Emily, until that point she didn't realise or understand how much had happened to her, it was an eye opener but she remained strong for her friends who were in the room at the time.
"I think it's time we go." Spencer said as she watched Emily attempt to rub her eyes of sleep. "Hey, I'm very proud of your first words by the way."
Moments later Emily felt her three friends give her a brief hug goodbye each before leaving the room.
"First words?" Alison questioned when the door was fully shut, slightly curious of Spencer's comment.
"I told her the first thing I said to you. You know? How I like my coffee?"
Alison looked back on the memory.
I like a double-shot cappuccino with one sugar, Emily's first words almost made Alison jump but it was still an exciting memory.
"I remember." Alison laughed softly and kissed Emily's knuckles.
"How was Cece?" Emily asked and Alison smiled, instinctively squeezing her hand comfortingly Alison continued to kiss the brunette's un-bandaged knuckles.
"She was good. She always knows how to preoccupy my mind of its worries." Alison's eyes were on Emily's hands but the brunette could sense they weren't with her, she sensed that the blonde's mind was miles away and in a world of her own.
"Ali?" Emily questioned in an effort to catch Alison's attention.
"Yeah?" She shook her head and focused back on the half asleep Emily.
"Am I one of the worries?" Emily's voice trembled and gave away her vulnerabilities.
"I'm worried about you but no, you yourself are not a worry." Alison could tell how distant she was being and she could tell Emily was aware of it.
"What's wrong Ali?" Emily weakly squeezed Alison's hand before yawning again but it only made the blonde feel guilty, for she felt she was the weak one when she had to be the strongest one. She felt she needed to hold everything to together so Emily would grow back her strength and health but it was hard.
It was hard because she had never once had to worry about being strong for anyone else but herself.
"I guess I'm scared Em." She paused, waiting for Emily to respond but the brunette merely looked at her and waited for her to gather her thoughts properly and continue. "I have to be strong... for you and it's hard. You've always been the strong one; you're the one that's kept me together. Now it's my turn. What if I fail Em? I can't lose you. I don't know how I'd function; I don't know how I'd live without you Emily."
Alison could feel her eyes dwelling with tears as she spoke but she kept everything together until she finished talking, she had to let Emily know what she was feeling.
"I have never felt this away about someone and it scares me. I'm so in love with you that it hurts being away from you and now every second I am gone I'm worried something will happen and I'll never see you again. I couldn't live without you Emily. I just couldn't."
Alison's head dropped to Emily's hand as she let her tears flow free. Talking to Cece had proved how much adoration Alison truly felt her Emily and it bubbled up the deepest feelings she had for her.
Emily felt her own tears begin to emerge as she watched Alison crack underneath the unbearable pressure she had unwillingly placed upon her girlfriend.
Emily reached slowly under Alison's chin, lifting it up to face her.
"I love you too much for that to happen Ali." Emily began. "I'm so sorry about everything I've put you through; I can't even being to imagine how you're feeling. After the videos, after what Noel put you through, after everything. I can't believe I am so lucky as to have such a strong, beautiful girlfriend who has stuck by me through all this shit."
Emily ignored the pain she felt as she held Alison's chin up; she was content on letting the blonde know how much she appreciated everything she had done for her.
It was almost ten in the evening before Alison, Pam and Wayne made their way into the Fields household and the house looked like it hadn't been touched in days. All the lights were extinguished and all the windows were closed, the home almost had a creepy atmosphere as Alison walked in last behind Emily's parents.
Before the blonde could over think the darkness Pam flicked a light on and headed into the kitchen. Following, Alison watched as Pam and Wayne slowly rubbed their eyes with exhaustion, she really felt for them, she couldn't fathom how much stress they could be feeling at this point in time.
"Ali dear, are you hungry? I can make you some dinner." Pam offered as she began unpacking a small bag of groceries she had picked up after work before returning to the hospital.
"No thanks Pam. I really tired, would you mind if I just went straight to bed?" Alison felt exhausted, her body ached and her eyes were falling in on themselves and knowing she had to go to school the next day was making her feel even more fatigued. Alison could not afford to miss anymore school and the doctors assured her that Emily would be commencing rehabilitation for walking tomorrow, so the timing seemed appropriate as Emily would be occupied.
"Of course, you can sleep in Emily's room if you'd like." Alison felt at first that Pam might have been offended for denying food but it seemed she was also too tired to be bothered.
Alison nodded before leaving the kitchen to let Pam and Wayne be alone.
As Alison made it into Emily's room she realised she no change of clothes and nothing to sleep in but as she flopped her body onto the cool sheets she didn't seem to care and before she knew it her eyes were falling and she slipped into a deep slumber.
"Okay Emily?" Emily snapped her head up from her wrists and looked over at the woman who had been talking no stop for ten minutes about the process of her rehabilitation.
Nodding she looked back down at her wrists, they were exceptionally sore that morning and it wasn't exactly a great start to the day.
"Alright well as I said the first thing we'll do is move you down to the physio room." The woman was young, maybe in her late twenties and the only thing she could manage to look at was her blonde hair, it reminded her of Alison.
The ten minutes that followed consisted of Alana the physiotherapist and Doctor Williams getting Emily into her wheelchair and it was embarrassing because she couldn't help at all. The only movement her lower body would do was the slight shift of her toes, which was apparently a good start by Alana's standards.
"So Emily," Alana began as she wheeled the already tired brunette down the hallway towards the Physiotherapy Room. "My job will be to help you understand and begin your basic movements, when you leave the hospital you will still be struggling but that's something we will work on together."
None of what Alana was saying was particularly comforting to Emily but she didn't interrupt.
"I think Doctor Williams believes you'll respond more positively in a home environment." It sounded like Alana was asking Emily a question but she didn't know how to respond and really how could she.
"I guess I don't need to be in hospital for too long." Emily replied as Alana opened the door to the Physio room. It was a small room that was empty besides a few exercise machines in the corner.
She was already beginning to feel stressed but in an attempt to calm herself down Emily wrapped her baggy jumper tighter around herself.
"First things first," Alana pulled Emily to a stop and moved in front of her, taking the brunette socks off before removing her own footwear. "Something simple."
For almost half an hour Emily and Alana focused on moving her toes. It was tedious but Emily didn't complain, it was either wiggling her toes or lying in bed doing nothing.
Alana sat in front of Emily watching her every move and she had to admit, it seemed the tall blonde knew what she was doing.
"If I helped you, do you think you would be able to move from the chair?" Emily's eyes shot up at Alana in mild shock. "Try not to think too much about it. I will be supporting your weight."
Emily swallowed but forced a nod.
Alana's arm wrapped underneath her arm and gently pulled Emily up. The weight on her legs was too much within seconds, she could feel her knees wobble and almost buckle under pressure but Alana held her tight. Moving slowly she moved Emily over to a black foam looking box and sat her down.
"Good start."
"You did all the work." Emily replied as Alana helped her lean against the wall. There were a few moments of silence as Alana rolled Emily's slacks up her legs.
"You're very brave." Alana broke the quiet as her hands moved over Emily's cold legs, massaging and losing them.
"What makes you say that?"
"You're the first person to actually try and stand in the first session. Usually people refuse to."
"You're the physio, I trust your judgement."
Alana smiled before continuing Emily with her treatment and almost another hour had passed before Emily spoke again. Though the brunette hadn't stood properly she felt she had improved and with the help of Alana she could move her ankles slightly.
"I need to stop." Emily winced slightly as she moved her ankle a final time. Alana nodded and helped her back into the wheelchair.
As Alana pushed Emily back down the hallway they ran into Doctor Williams who assisted in getting the brunette back into her bed.
"How did your first session go?" He asked as Alana lifted Emily's leg into the bed.
"She did well, another couple of months of physiotherapy and she'll be well and truly back on her feet."
"Months?" Emily looked away from Doctor Williams and towards Alana. "That long?"
"You'll be home within a week Emily but therapy will continue on a constant basis after hospital."
Emily didn't understand why she was so surprised, she could barely move her lower part of her body, and it was just the thought of constantly working to get her body to work again that troubled her.
It was going to be a long few months.