Silence is the worst thing (Emison)

Chapter 29

Chapter 29
Emily's heart was beating in her chest; it was so loud she could hear it pulsing in her ears.
Alison had finally woken up.
Excitement coursed through the brunette as she made her way to the car the next morning with her mother and friends behind her. Unfortunately Wayne had to work.
"Emily, be careful, you're going to hurt yourself if you push too much." Hanna ran to the back of the wheelchair and pushed Emily the remainder of the way to the car.
"Hurry up, slow pocks." Emily said as she lifted herself from the chair and dropped her body roughly into the passenger seat, ignoring the pain that ached in her legs.
"Alright, calm down, you're going to give yourself a heart attack." Spencer laughed before joining Aria and Hanna in the backseats.
Pam quickly got in the car herself and started the engine in a subtle rush.
From the back seat Spencer, Hanna and Aria tried to suppress a laugh as they watched Emily and Pam bop up and down nervously as they drove to the hospital.
The drive felt like an eternity to Emily, even though it was less than a twenty minute journey.
After finding a park in the underground parking lot everyone made their way towards the elevator.
Sticking to Spencer's advice Emily tried desperately hard to keep calm.
"So tell me again how she woke up?" Aria questioned as the elevator doors closed and the gears drew them up several floors.
"Well I called Jackie to see how Ali was doing and she said I should talk to her. So she put the phone to Ali's ear and I just spoke for a bit and then suddenly she said my name."
"Aw, Em! That's actually kind of adorable." Hanna squealed as the doors opened once more and she pushed the brunette down the hallway.
"What happened after that?" Spencer was next to Hanna and Aria was standing on the other side, Pam was close behind them, enjoying the show of twenty questions Emily's friends were giving her.
"She asked me what happened but Jackie said she should rest and that she would explain everything in the morning."
"So... since when could we see her? Did her dad change his mind?" Aria muttered hopefully as they all lined up in front of the nurse's station to Alison's ward. There was an elderly couple in front of them asking a few questions and they had to wait and ask before going to see Alison.
"No but Jackie said it's up to Alison as well and naturally she wanted us to be here." Emily was shaking nervously; she was so excited to see the blonde that thinking about anymore questions might make her brain explode.
"Hi, I'm Pam Fields and this is my daughter Emily and her friends. We're here to see Alison DiLaurentis." Pam introduced herself politely to the nurse who had finally finished with the couple from before.
"Oh yes, Jackie!" The old lady turned around and called loudly down the hall. "She's just doing her last rounds before her shift is over."
Moments later the young Jackie came strolling into sight.
"Yes? Oh hi ladies. I was just wondering when you were going to turn up." Turning back down the hallway she motioned her arm for them all to follow.
"I must warn you, Alison is very tired, she has been in and out of sleep. I would recommend maybe a short visit for today or one person at a time but basically just try not to overwhelm her; she's in a lot of pain." She led them to Alison's room and opened the door slowly, trying not to make too much noise.
"Can I-"
"Go." Hanna interrupted Emily before she could finish, they all knew Emily needed to see her first. They were all just happy she was awake. "We'll be happy if she says hi to us."
Emily smiled and looked up at her mother who had been silent for most of the morning. She nodded encouragement to Emily before stepping back and letting the brunette push her way into the room.
"If you need anything, just press the nurse's aid button. I'll come running." Jackie said before exiting the room and shutting the door behind her.
Slowly Emily made her way to Alison's side; the slow rhythm of her chest moving up and down was giving her a small sense of security. The blonde may have woken up last night but with her eyes closed it was hard for Emily not to think the worst.
However, Alison was asleep and that was okay with Emily because she knew the amount of pain the blonde was enduring.
"Hey Ali." She whispered while placing her hand over Alison's. The bed was slightly elevated but the blonde was basically lying down with her head tilted up.
Emily could hear Alison's breathing and she found it comforting, she found it comforting to just be in the room with her and not worry about anything else but the girl in front of her.
"I'm so glad you're okay." Emily leaned up from the wheelchair to kiss Alison's hand, her skin felt warmer than before, she felt full of life.
"You know, the girls are watching us like hawks." Alison's voice would've scared Emily to the point of a heart attack if it wasn't so soft and hoarse. She turned to find three heads quickly turn away from the small glass window in the door.
"Alison..." Emily whispered, unsure of what to say, she was frozen but also very happy to have the blonde awake when she was there.
"Hey Emmy." She said softly as she rubbed the surface of Emily's hand that woke her up just moments before.
At Alison's sweet tone Emily forced herself to move closer and kiss her way from the blonde's hand to her casted arm.
"What happened here?" Emily asked, worried.
"Apparently it's broken, or fractured... or something. I don't really remember. They told me a lot of things." Alison's voice was hard to hear with the oxygen mask covering her mouth, subconsciously Emily's free hand went to her nasal cannula and she fiddled with the tubing that hooked around her ear.
"I was so scared, Ali. I thought... I thought..." Emily couldn't finish her thought process because she was so happy to have Alison awake with her that everything else didn't seem to matter anymore.
Alison's eyes were barely open but they were open enough to see the tears dwell in Emily's eyes.
It was hard to see the brunette so scared and broken, it was like she had caused that pain, especially after everything that had happened, of course she was going to feel responsible.
"Em... I'm so sorry for everything I put you through." Alison felt her chest rise and lower, what used to be a subconscious movement, was now something she felt she had to think about.
The pain in her side would never fully subside, even with the amount of medication she was on wasn't enough to make it disappear.
"Ali, don't be sorry. I'm so glad you're awake." Emily stood from her chair and sat on the bed next to her, trying to close as much distance between them as she could without hurting the blonde. Lifting the oxygen tank with her Emily smiled sheepishly noticing the smirk on Alison's face.
"I've waited so long to see that trademark smirk of yours."
Alison's smirk turned into a shy smile before she patted the space next to her on the bed.
"There's enough room here for you."
"I don't want to hurt you." Emily said cautiously but she knew Alison was going to get her own way. And sure enough, the blonde raised an eyebrow and patted the same spot again. Adjusting herself Emily lay down next to her and placed her hand on top of Alison's, enjoying the heat Alison had gained since the last time she'd touched her.
Alison leaned into her shoulder and sighed in relief from the contact. Emily kissed the blonde's forehead before sighing in relief as well.
"I missed you so much, Ali." Emily said as she stoked up and down the un-casted surface of the blonde's arm and hand.
"I missed you too, Emmy."
Moments later there was a small knock at the door before Spencer, Hanna and Aria poked their heads through the door.
"Hey, Ali." They all said in unison.
"Hi." She replied, her voice sore and husky from strain.
"We'll be quick; we just wanted to make sure you were alright." Spencer said as she entered the room first, walking close to the edge of Alison's bed with Arai and Hanna close behind her.
"I'm okay, thanks to this one." Alison murmured softly as she softly shoved Emily's side playfully.
"I didn't do anything." Emily blushed as her three friends looked towards her with large smile's spread across their faces.
The three girls made themselves comfortable on the available chairs before falling into a relaxed silence. All eyes were on Alison and Emily's hands that were moving against each other ever so gently, enjoying the small dance of friction and feeling they were creating. Hanna thought it was adorable while Spencer and Aria shared a small smile before looking back between their friends.
Alison could feel her own eyes opening and closing from the weight of her medication but she didn't want her friends to leave.
She was enjoying the company way too much for them to go.
Moments later the door opened and Pam made her way inside the room, giving Alison a very excited smile before walking to the bed and kissing the blonde on the forehead supportively.
"How are you feeling?" Pam stood next to the bed and rubbed Emily's head gently.
"I'm okay." Alison lied, trying to forget about the pain that pulsed in her side and head. Pam noticed Alison's lie but didn't push the subject; of course she wasn't going to be okay, not with a bullet wound in her side.
Alison breathed softly before snuggling further into Emily, enjoying the warmth and comfort the brunette created. Spencer, Hanna and Aria were talking about school and how finals were coming up within the next month but the only thing the school could seem to focus on was the drama between Alison and Emily.
Even Noel came up in conversation but neither Emily nor Alison felt like talking about him, so that conversation diminished quickly.
Before an awkward silence could fall upon them a soft knock at the door interrupted them and Jackie popped her head through, asking for permission to enter.
"You have a visitor." She said cautiously and it caught everyone's attention as all eyes went to the door.
Opening it fully Jackie moved away to reveal Jessica DiLaurentis standing in the frame, awkwardly holding onto her handbag as if unsure as to whether she should enter the room or not.
"Mum..." Alison muttered her voice so soft it was barely audible.
"Hi Alison." Jessica looked between her daughter and Emily's hands, it wasn't that she was uncomfortable with Alison's sexuality; it was more who she was with. It was hard to believe anyone's story but Jason's.
"I think we should go." Spencer broke the silence in the room and stood, Hanna and Aria joining her quickly with no hesitation. Usually Hanna would have stayed behind ready to defend her friends but it seemed Jessica's body language didn't display any sort of threat.
"I'll get Caleb to pick us up." Hanna said to Pam whose eyes were stuck on Jessica, she broke contact to give Hanna a small nod before looking back at the quiet DiLaurentis.
The three quickly exited with Jackie close behind who shut the door on her way out.
Then it was just Alison, Emily, Pam and Jessica and a large amount of silence floating around in the room.
"Where's Dad?" Alison was the first to break the silence.
"He was at the police station but I told him you were awake, so I'm guessing he's on his way here."
Emily looked away from Jessica towards Alison but the blonde merely squeezed on her hand and held it tighter.
"You're not going anywhere." Alison whispered, reading Emily's mind.
"But your Dad-"
"I don't care. I don't want you to go." Alison moved into Emily's arms as she held her close.
"Alison..." Jessica began but her voice suddenly disappeared as both her daughter and her girlfriend drew their attention to her but thankfully before she could continue the door flew open and Kenneth made his way in the room, right on cue with his expression blank and his body displaying anger.
"I thought I said you weren't allowed in here." Kenneth said his voice surprisingly neutral.
"I wanted them here." Alison croaked and she held tightly onto Emily's hand.
"That's not up to you."
"Yes it is, I'm almost eighteen I can make my own decisions." Alison felt immensely stressed by her father's presence and he was in the room for less than thirty seconds.
"Ken... maybe we should listen to her?" Jessica felt torn; she had heard from the police the evidence but she still couldn't believe the truth.
"Why are you pushing this Jessica?" Kenneth asked frustration evident in his tone.
"Because I don't want to lose a second child."
"She's just confused, this Emily girl is corrupting her and she is feeding her lies. She's the one that killed Jason! Why would you want to accept this?" Kenneth threw his arms frantically in the air as lost his temper at his wife who had taken a few steps back in his rampage.
"I shot Jason." Alison broke the tension between the two and felt every pair of eyes in the room fall onto her. Though Pam and Emily knew the truth it felt weird to be hearing Alison vocalise it.
At Alison's words it was like a switch had flicked inside Kenneth, his angry stature turned ice cold as he realised the truth, falling into the closest seat he could find he buried his face into his hands and rubbed his temples.
"Why?" It was the only question he could manage.
"Because he was going to kill Emily, just look at her neck! His hands were that tight around her throat the bruises are still clear and very visible after a week." Alison couldn't remember much about what happened that day but she remembered watching Jason clutch his hands around Emily's throat and squeeze hard.
She remembered crawling for the gun that lay only metres away, she remembered how heavy it felt in her hand before pulling the trigger, and how it felt even heavier after pulling the trigger. The gravity of killing her brother had pushed a huge wave of guilt but also relief over her, the burden she had been carrying after that fatal firing felt crushing against her chest each time she took a breath.
Even though she hated her brother for what he had done, every breath she would take would be a breath Jason would never take again. Even for such a monster, he was still her brother and she had ended his life. That was a burden she would have to bare forever.
But she had saved Emily.
The brunette was safe and holding her close and that was important.
Kenneth stood from the chair, another switch flicking in him, passing from the moment where his cold and dark soul had paused to let the truth sink in and he was back to the normal Kenneth DiLaurentis, with no compassion left for his daughter.
"You should have let her die." He growled, his fist clenched tight and his face dark with terror. Turning from Alison and Emily, Kenneth looked at Pam who had stood up in anger from his words.
"How dare you!" Pam growled back.
"You can keep the disgrace of a child." Kenneth spat at Pam before she could master up another sentence. Grabbing Jessica's hand Kenneth pulled her towards the door and out of sight.
Alison felt a tear fall from her eye and smudge on her oxygen mask, feeling a breath catch in her throat from her father's hurtful words she tried desperately hard to control her cries due to the amount of pain that rode in her body at each harsh movement.
"Ali... I'm sorry." Emily whispered gently, her words sounded as broken as Alison felt.
Alison wanted to say it was okay but she knew Emily wouldn't believe it, how could she? Not after what had just happened with her father. She felt hurt but at the same time at least he wasn't blaming Emily anymore.
"I'll leave you two alone for a bit. I'll go talk to Jackie." Pam exited the room without another word, her mind was elsewhere and she couldn't seem to focus on anything but how badly Kenneth treated Alison.
Emily's hold around Alison tightened and she moved to kiss her gently on the forehead. They sat there for a long time in silence; it wasn't really awkward but more necessary as Alison was having an internal struggle with herself about Jason and her father.
"I'm sorry, Em." Alison finally spoke and felt Emily's hand instinctively squeeze her own at the sound.
"Don't be sorry, Ali." She said, trying to ignore the croak in her voice as she spoke.
"If I didn't leave you, he might not have come. He might not have tried to hurt you." She could tell her voice was soft and it made her want to take the mask off just so she could speak properly.
"Ali-"
"Em, if I hadn't had come when I did he might have left, he might not have hurt you. Maybe he just-"
"Alison, if you hadn't come when you did he would have raped me again. I saw it in his eyes the moment I opened the door, it was the same look he had in them that night." Emily didn't know if she wanted to make Alison feel better or just help her to justify what she did so she could live with herself. "You did what you had to... to survive."
"I killed my own brother." Alison didn't know why she felt so guilty, maybe it was because of what her father had said or maybe it was survivor's guilt.
"But... you saved me because of it."Emily tried to remain positive in the situation but she knew that no amounts of words could relinquish Alison's guilt.
Her own feeling of guilt began to seep through as she realised she had practically made Alison choose between her and her family.
"I don't really remember what happened, all I know is I shot him, I don't even know the whole story... Can you tell me?" Alison had no recollection of that day except for the shot to her side and she felt maybe if Emily told her everything she wouldn't feel so awful.
Emily looked down at Alison carefully, not sure whether telling her everything that had happened so soon was such a good idea but at the same time she definitely deserved the truth.
"Are you sure?" Emily asked cautiously and Alison responded by nodding and nuzzling softly into her.
"It will help me understand." That was enough to convince Emily that now was the right time.
"You were at school when it happened and I was home alone, he knocked on the door..."
"Hi Jackie, I know you were supposed to be finishing your shift. I just had a few questions." Pam had made her way to the nurse's station where Jackie and the older nurse were chatting quietly. Jackie had her jumper on and her bag over her shoulder, she was sitting on the desk while the other nurse was typing up random notes on the computer.
"Of course, Mrs Fields. What can I help you with?" Jackie stood from the desk and made her way around the barrier that separated the nurse's from the general public.
"It looks like Alison might be staying with us for a while and I just need to know what kind of precautions I'll need to be taking. What will I have to do to make her more comfortable?" Jackie leant against the barrier and looked between Pam and the older nurse who looked up from her computer.
"Her father said he wasn't coming back, we were struggling to understand what that meant."
"He's not a very accepting man." Pam said softly, still taken aback by how hurtful Kenneth was to Alison and Emily.
"Well it's a tricky situation because Alison is still technically a minor. Practically speaking she's old enough to make her own decisions but legally she needs a parent or guardian to sign her out of the hospital."
"Wayne and I can be her guardian until she's eighteen." Pam volunteered quickly.
"Okay well that can be easy enough, you would need to sign a few forms before she leaves of course but with Alison in such a temperamental state we will need to monitor her for a while before she can leave. Because she was in a coma for so long we need to make sure she won't relapse."
"Is that a possibility?"
"Yes, it's slim but the possibility is still there. When she was in surgery she was legally dead for almost two minutes, that's almost enough time for there to be permanent damage to the brain. So far she hasn't shown any signs but we definitely need to be careful and recovery will be a long process because of what happened."
"We'll do whatever we can to help her." Pam felt horrified at how serious Alison's condition was.
"Excellent. It's a learning experience that's for sure so we will all help you with everything and we'll make it as painless as we can for Alison."
"Is she in a lot of pain? I feel she's trying to hide it, especially from Emily." Pam had noticed how Alison was acting but she wasn't sure if she was just picking.
"She is in a fair amount of pain, yes but her medication is helping." Jackie seemed matter-of-fact as she spoke but she also sounded sympathetic. She knew it was just as difficult to be watching Alison in so much pain.
"How long do you think she will be in here?"
"It's hard to say. At least a few weeks though, that will give you time to prepare for her homecoming." Pam nodded, this was going to be just as difficult for Emily as it was for Alison, she knew her daughter cared deeply for the blonde and watching her experience so much was going to be hard for her.
"I just want to make sure both of them will be okay."
"Of course, we'll discuss details closer to when Alison is ready to leave, for now we're going to focus on her getting better."
"Thank you for everything you've done Jackie, you really helped them." Pam extended her hand to the young nurse and shook it briefly before turning and heading back to Alison's room.
"Mrs Fields?" Jackie called, causing Pam to turn around. "Don't forget to take care of yourself as well."
Smiling Pam nodded her gratitude to Jackie and turned back down the hallway. Thank goodness there are still good people in the world. Pam thought to herself.