Deadpool X Reader!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hitman for hire the ad said.
Of course, Y/n thought of it as a bit odd.
How wrong you were when you received a note written in crayon.
Meet Me.
It read.
Me and A/n dug our hands into our pouches and pulled out two different things. A/n had fire crackers where I had grenades. I looked at the audience, with an evil grin spreading onto my face. "Fuck this..." I muttered and pulled a pin off of a grenade. I raised the grenade over my head and swung it once, then twice, then thrice before finally releasing it. The grenade flew through the air and landed in between the bleachers. I snapped my fingers and on cue, the grenade went off.
Now that's what happens when you mix C4 with a bean burrito!
Now tell me, I ain't the only one with a little bit of shit in their pants right now, am I?
Bodies exploded with blood splattering basically everywhere. A/n turned to look at me with a worried expression on her/his face. I crossed my arms across my chest, with a grin on my face. "Dead.....Dead...Deadpool!" S/he yelled at me. "You're welcome!" I responded, pointing two fingers at A/n. "Now then.......let's get this party started!" I put two hands on my katanas and pulled them out, twirling them. I jumped down from the stage and charged at one of the clowns, inserting the katanas into the clown's chest. This felt good, just doin' what I had a knack for doin'.
Cue the music!
♪Shots fired♪
I pulled the katanas out from the clown and kicked the clown's body to the ground. A puddle of crimson leaked out from the clown's chest, leaving blood stains on the ground. I knelt down besides the clown. "Fun fact, I've always hated you fuckers. Now, don't take it personally! It's...It's just that you're creepy!" I stated. I rose up from the clown's body and looked around. Clowns were running left and right. Then, my eyes landed on a short, tanned boy. I recogonized his appearance almost immendiatly. "A/n!" I called to A/n. S/he turned in my direction. "Grab the kid!" I ordered. A/n nodded and jumped off the stage, running toward the kid. "But, not inappropriately!" I added. I then turned my attention to a woman who had a bat, slowly approaching me. I rolled my eyes at this woman's attempt. I watched as she got closer, aiming the bat at my head. I twirled a katana with a hand then threw it into the woman, causing her to drop the bat. She fell onto her knees and looked up at me. I approached her, seeing the fear in her eyes. She put her hands together for a prayer. She lowered her head as I stopped in front of her.
I knelt down in front of her. "Look sweetheart, I can make it quick...or...I can let ya bleed." I stated. "Please.....help m...m...m...me!" The woman stammered. I put a hand on one of my guns. I began to pull it out of one of the holsters. "I...I just want to see......see one of...my babies." I dropped the gun onto the ground.
Hold the phone!
Back away while you still can Wilson.
"Say what now?" I asked, shocked by her statement. The woman pointed down to her stomach as my eyes followed. I let out a gasp. "Oh! I....I......I'm so...so sorry!" I exclaimed. I dug into one of my pouches and pulled out a bandage. I pulled out my katana and watched as blood came out. I quickly put the bandage on with it practically not helping with the wound. I stood up and helped the woman to her feet. I helped walked her outside the death zone. "I...I wish you the best of luck with the newborns!" I yelled, saluting the woman. I then turned around to face the crowd. Clowns began to approach me in armies. I looked down at the ground and picked up my katanas. I then charged at the clowns, spinning around in circles in order to decapitatie them more quicker. I watched the bodies all fall to the ground with a thud. I looked up at the top of the tent, seeing smoke. And worse, I smelt smoke.
Shit just got lit.
We need to grab Y/n and Addison! Then, we're bookin'!
Flames surrounded me as I began to search for A/n through the crumbling tent. I heard a crack and stopped in my tracks. I looked around to find the source of the sound. Then, I felt a whoosh of air from behind. I spun around and saw that a wooden beam had fallen onto the ground. It almost would've hit me. "No!" I heard A/n's voice cry out in emotional distress. I looked around in a panic then saw A/n's figure in the flames. I ran over to the scene to be greeted by something unexpected. A/n had a pistol pointed at a clown with Addison nearby, hiding. A/n had a finger on the trigger with a shaking hand. "I...I...I don't want to!" A/n yelled with tears in his/her eyes. "I'm.....I'm sorry!" A/n yelled at the clown. A/n turned to look away as s/he squeezed the trigger tighter. Then, a loud boom went off. I looked away for a moment then examined the clown. His brain matter came out onto the ground but his chest still heaved.
A/n dropped the pistol on the ground and fell to her/his knees, crying. I pulled out a gun and fired at the clown, finishing the job. I then walked over to A/n and sat down besides him/her. I pulled her/him close to me. "Shush now...it's alright.....shush now." I whispered softly as I stroked his/her hair. "I'm........sorry I'm such a disappointment." A/n whimpered through tears.
What did you put into Y/n's mind Wilson?!
Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
That's a lie!
✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌
Commence the suicide montange! ~I.H.
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