Dear Virginity

- Two -

I had no hesitation in plotting myself out of the door, which I didn't. I look as I see all of their faces fall.

"Felicity." Amandla moans.
"What? I like this outfit." I approach a smile as their faces default.
"We wanted to make more of an entrance to have the whole party on us. And not only that, but it's also for you to ya know." Angie says.
"This is why you haven't caught any fish for bait yet." Alicia shakes her head as I feel a pang of irritation welling in my bloodstream.
"Okay play the guilt trip on me," I say. "Just because I'm still a virgin, doesn't mean I'm not a woman, and maybe since you all are trying to dress as strippers, plays to why your ignorance is slipping out of your mouth. Maybe virginity makes a girl more of herself."

It was a silent ride home, no one passed any ears or were willing to relief the situation, you were just strangled in your seat belt, sticky in your seat while your bag of clothes could become molded to your skin from sweat.

I did feel guilty, the words might've come out a bit harsh more than I was intended to say, now realizing it. But you couldn't deform on common sense because some day you'll be studying it. I was on the same left side of the car, siding to the driver's door as my elbow is sketching on the window's sit. I'm staring at the same barked trees bushing their heads under the sherbet sky wading into the horizon. My heart was beating in possible humiliation, and I don't know if I'm suffering from my own sense of knowledge or opinionated view, so far as if I still have friends.

"Felicity." I notice were in front of my parents' blue ranch house, the porch light flickering by our stop.
"Thanks." I murmur, closing the car door with my purse and bag alongside with me.

I watch them drive off into the road's distance, red tail lights ducking into the colorful abyss that I could no longer see. I ring the doorbell for me to go to my bed room and flop on my lonesome bed.

"Well that's the first time." I see dad sitting on one of the family chairs having his big mustache and beard in one of his newspapers. Right now I wished he stayed in it.
"Sorry dad," I sit up, noticing my anticipation was interacting with my manners. "Hi."
"Hey, how was the mall?" He smiles, his cheeks wrinkling up into an open expression.
"It was...good, it was good. The same casualty teenagers do." I say.
"You don't sound as happy." He's more alert. Crap.
"I'm just tired, guess I binge watched too much last night." I smile.
"Well okay, and if it makes you feel better, your mom and I will be going down town for the week, family reunion with your aunts and uncles. I know you have a lot of work on your hands with your job interview tomorrow, so the house is yours."

I was suddenly more awake when I heard the last few words spill out of his mouth. The house? All mine?

"You serious dad?" I perked.
"Yes but your mom and I are trusting you with our guidelines and almost as an adult, we think you could have some of your time alone, just to back off on your seniority."
"When are you going?" I ask him.
"Just started packing today, car should be loaded by tomorrow morning before you wake up."

I give him a big fat hug just before we hear a huge buzzing sound coming from the kitchen.

"I'm making smoothies!" Mom yells over the bench to the kitchen counter.

Dad chuckles as we separate apart and wave when I'm going back to my room. I guess it would be nice to actually have a boyfriend and not just hang urself as some side piece to just deal with the insecurity of not having sex. I never thought of it, and now that I am, it makes me take a double take on my thoughts.

Am I too hard on myself? Should I take hands on doing something before it's too late in the future? I guess I'm just frantic of never having that night when a boy could possibly love on me, it would be better than realizing your alone when your listening to your favorite pop songs all the time, possibly lost your friends and having just a puppy to prove as your friend. That did frighten me.

In ransom, I open my MacBook to watch Dating In the Dark, that show always made me laugh into seeing my flaws as amusement. I cope myself to one of mom's mango smoothies as Mali jumps himself between my legs. Seeing that these people were just anonymous to each other to trust their (four) senses in love seeking is pretty ironic for "love at first sight" that would be usually be eventual to people falling in love. For some reason it comforts me from drowning in my own faults and faculties that may be me trying to hide myself.

It gave me an idea. I suddenly grab my phone and make a group chat for all my girls to incorporate. I tap immediately at my keyboard, and invite them for a sleep over Friday here at my house.

Hey Gurls <3
Parents are going downtown for the week tomorrow. Sleepover at my house possibly this week if you're not still mad at me. We can all make our confessions, tweet over boys, and do what else you intend.
Free for all, last gurl standing ~

It was a couple of minutes until I hear the familiar tune to my phone being notified.

CrazyB****16 (Amandla) : Sounds Great
Daddy'sGirl (Angelina) : Surprise Surprise
C***SuckerPrincess (Chloe) : I'll bring whatever I have in mind
ChocolateVelvet105 (Alicia) : Let's get it started

A smile was already perched on my face, I don't know if I was being dirty or sneaky, but for some reason I was concupiscent.