Dear Virginity

- Twenty -

That night, I had changed out of my bikini and into my bra and panties with a pair of my hem floral shorts, a tank top and a white cardigan.

My hair is slightly dry from earlier's holidays, that including the sweet horizon kiss I still felt staining on my lips. It was different from Bodhi's, not just dramatically speaking, but converting to his attitude, his pride, his body language, and his experience. It slowed down my defense against him, but one night couldn't be so enthralling, could it? As corny as it sounded, I was starstruck, and it powered me the entire drive back home.

I put my wet clothes in the washing machine when I got home, balling them together in the dryer afterwards until I'd turn it off. Mom was on the couch sleep with a book over her face, clearly eating her bag of Classic Lays as seen to her greasy red fingernails. I just shake my head and carry my way to my bedroom, the day fully sleeping when I turn my head back outside. I found the day occupying, or rather merrymaking in a worth of five hours. I didn't know what to do until then. Go to sleep to another day back to work? Read a book until I bore myself out? Or just...

I look to my drawer in my bedroom, remembering that night I had a slumber party with my friends. That day, Chloe had lend me something, if I were ever bored, mindless, completely dead, then there was always an emergency to head yourself out. I didn't know what I was doing but maybe it was coming to the moment when I was full out stuck in the middle. The middle of my thoughts, my friends, my parents, and two boys hoping to kill their desperation.

I slide the drawer to my bureau, and appeared the same long, phallic, pink jelly rubber dildo everyone was passing around that day in the living room. I look at mom, whose knocked out on the couch snoring and dad must've been in the basement again. But Mali's looking at me bug eyed in the corner of my room chewing his chew toys. I open the door wider and point towards the living room, indicating 'get out'.

He jogs to his bed and I immediately close the door, pulling down my shorts to only be in my Tokidoki undies and my white tank top. I throw myself on my bed without competing under the covers. I sit myself up against the head of the bed, comforting around the pillows as I have my legs spread and my feet holding me up on the white bed sheets. I felt so dirty, like my mind was finally making itself up as a tight feeling was coiling between my thighs in a throbbing sensation.

I slip off my panties and without any hesitation, I wedge the penis into my vagina, pushing it inside me as my body goes into a shock. A yelp squeaks from my lips as It's slightly painful, but I feel the macrophallic stretching my walls in a pleasurable mix with the tutor of my hand. I feel under my shirt with my free hand, massaging my breasts in a mimicking manner while I can't help but harness the pleasure in a chorus of quiet moans, both in dedication towards Heath and Bodhi.

I pull up my shirt to easy my hand on my boobs, snapping off my bra and distend my nipples to my index finger and my groping hand provoking the moment and my libido. I pump the dildo more into my opening, expressing all my emotions on this thing. It's swelling, pounding with adrenaline that's coursing in my body and my motive into power driving my actions. My legs twitch and they sprawl while I'm forcing erogenous pressure in between them, my toes curling in reaction to this euphoria.

Was this what it felt like? A whole total dream that was just like heaven pushing me to god? If so, why did let my stupid insecurities get ahead of what could've been the best thing in the world? I feel saliva dropping out of my mouth, my hand feeling like it was moving by itself from how long this dream was lasting. Although I was just waiting for someone to open the door from the suspicion of my room door being closed, it never happens, and I feel my soul possibly leaving my body.

I feel electrified, every cell in my body just bolted to the high ends of my hair from my goosebumps, to my ankles and powering to the top of my head. Am I having a seizure? It's a mysterious wonderland tundra landscaping all the way to a mountain peak. Was I having an orgasm? I couldn't open my eyes to really emphasize it, but my body is like going through withdrawals and it's wanting more.

I turn myself over on my knees, keeping the dildo by my vulva and pounding it intensely to a reactant. But I push it out, feeling moisture pass on my skin as I move it up to my anus. I heard this was a whole "no-go", but it was my own pinball game and I wanted all the game points. I push it inside my butt and the feeling is a bit altering. Thanks to the moisture leaving off of the toy, it slips right in, but it's stretching out my walls like reverse pooping. Its uncomfortable at first, probably to its size, but I keep pressuring myself and it accessorizes to my sensation welling in a chakra through my body.

I have my face in a pillow, my moaning slightly muffled, but my body is sweating and it feels warm through the internal heat wave melting me into a stick of butter. All the air cycling through me leaves my throat dry as I'm chanting between the only names I can think of man handling me right now. I twist my body over and over working in for more of the ensorcel like fossils. It's only until I feel my body driving towards a cliff, a limit, an apex that's detonating into an explosion that I'm dying to have.

Then my back arches, my body jumps off the bed, climaxing from my head to my toes feeling liquid draw on my fingers and something wave through the other end. It's like my body turned into Gushers, biting into an exploding sweetness that gives off a fruity aftertaste. Somewhat in that analogy, I just jumped into a huge pool of realization, fear now plowing into fraught for that new feeling again. But not through labor, but through a pendant that harnessed two souls.

I dry the toy off with my shirt and throw it back in the drawer. I'll take care of that when it's moving day. I'm more cornerstone on what just happened, what sexuality possessed me into a pleasurable exorcism ascending to another part of my brain.

I wanted to lose my virginity.