Milah
*one month later....*
Everybody has been feeling real distant lately. Me and Jazz are not nearly as close as we once were. Ever since we've started college, something about her has changed. Although we live under the same roof, sometimes to me it feels like she isn't even here. What once was considered a "best friend" is seeming like more of just an acquaintance. Nyla on the other hand, we were getting closer.
Speaking of close, Shawn and I also don't feel the same. It's almost as if he's focused on something more important. I could be just trippin', but the vibe no longer feels right.
Sometimes, I wonder what it'd be like if we took a break for a while, but then again, I'm stuck, because he was my boyfriend my whole high school career. We would definitely be talking about it sooner or later.
Jazz
Shawn and I were getting to know each other more. The more time I spent with him, the more I felt like I was getting attached. Yes, it's morally wrong of me to be going behind my best friends back, but I also can't control my feelings.
Shawn was cute, funny and caring. I've learned so much about him, from family to old memories of when he was a kid growing up. I feel like I can be myself around him, because we have so much in common.
We still haven't had sex, besides him going down on me from time to time. It's good to know that we can enjoy each other, without sex being involved.
It's hard to really have him the way I want him though, because we still hide what we have from Milah. I plan to tell her one day, I just haven't had the right time.
I love Milah as if she's a sister, and I never want to hurt her, or see her with her heart broken, but I know that this is exactly what's bound to happen.
I can tell she notices a little change in both me and Shawn's behavior. Praise God she hasn't caught on yet, cause when she does, all hell will break loose.
Nyla
Milah has such a beautiful heart. I don't see how someone could be so selfish towards her feelings. I understand as humans we all make mistakes, but to go so low to sneak around with your best friend's boyfriend, is a problem. I promised myself I wouldn't get too involved, but I also don't want to get stuck in the middle and have to explain to Milah why I kept something like this behind her back.
I'm stuck on what to do. I like both of the girls, but I also know what it feels like to get cheated on.
A year ago, I caught my boyfriend sleeping with my blood sister behind my back. I was devastated for a little while, but when I realized that we were only in high school, I snapped back into reality and knew, that at this day and age, no young minded boy could ever be faithful.
Since then, I date and mingle, but I try not to get attached or fall in love. It's just something I do for fun.
As far as love goes, of course I'd love to be in love on day, but I'll wait until it presents itself to me instead of chasing it.
Me and my sister, we aren't as close as we once were because of the whole ordeal, but I have forgiven her and moved on. I love her, and at the end of the day, I wouldn't let a boy I met in my teenage years affect our relationship.
"Have you seen Jazz?" Milah asked snapping me out of my thoughts.
"No, she left a couple hours ago. Haven't heard from her since." I answered, already knowing she was with Shawn.
"Has she been acting a little strange to you?"
"Well, I've only known her a little over a month, so I'm not really aware of how she normally is to tell."
"Hmm.. okay." She walked away, heading back to her room.
Was I wrong for not stepping up and saying something? Should I feel as guilty as I do?
Shawn
Jazz was amazing. She's everything I could possibly want. She's beautiful, smart and keeps me happy. As I've stated before, I love Milah, but sometimes, people drift apart, and that's what's happening.
I watched Jazz sleep. She came to my dorm a little after 8 this morning and we cuddled and watched "Baby Boy" before we both drifted off to sleep.
"Mmm..." she moaned in her sleep as I placed soft kisses along her neck to wake her up.
"Wake up Ma, you need to get back before they start to suspect something." I said.
"Okay okay." She said in an annoyed sleepy tone.
"Don't be catching no attitude, because I can easily fix it for you." I bit my lip before sending a hard smack to her ass.
"Oww, leave me alone." She threw a pillow at me.
"Come on Ma." She finally rolled over, getting out of the bed.
I wrapped my arms around her waist, as she wrapped hers around my neck giving me a kiss goodbye.
"I'll text you." She said before walking out the door.
I hated when we had to separate. I felt like I was catching feelings for the girl, but I ain't want to show that shit. One day, I will tell Milah. How do you explain that you're more interested in a girl's best friend that you've been with for so many years?
