I Fell In Love With My Drug Dealer

33

A Year Later
Cia

"Jay this is your last time coming here."

I said to him letting him come in my house.

"Okay fine, but tell me what's on your mind." He said grabbing my waist.

"Nothing." I said pushing his hands off my waist.

"You sure? You look... Stressed." He said moving my hair behind my ear.

"Look Jay, I'm fine. Okay." I said to him. He put his hands up in surrender and walked over to my couch. "You've been coming over here alot." I said to him sitting on the couch next to him.

"I can't come over now?" He asked and I rolled my eyes.

"I never said that. I just think it's kinda of weird how..." I stopped talking because I started to think of him. "Just forget what I said." I said to him and got off the couch. Jay's hands grabbed my waist pulling me to his body.

"No you need to express your feeling." He said in my ear, sounding so much like...

Wesley

"Look Jay can you leave? I need to-."

"Clear your mind." He said finishing my sentence. "You know you always say that. Why can't you tell me how you feel?" He asked.

"How about you just leave!" I yelled. "You can't come in my house and tell me how to feel towards you! Those feeling that I had for you is down the drain!" I said to him. "Get. Out. My. House!"

He didn't say anything he just got up and left. Just like everyone in my life. I locked the door.

I walked back and sat down on the couch.

So let me tell you about my stressful year. Ever since I got out the hospital, Jay has been popping up and reminding me about Wesley. I'm trying to get in my head that he's gone after we had a funeral for him on his birthday, which his birthday is about to come up. Just great. We decided to have a funeral because no one knew where he was or where he possibly could have went to so we just decided on that. It was of course hard for me because I was the last on to talk to him and see him. I can only put up with the responsibility to take the blame. I feel like shit because the last word he said to me was "I love you." Compared to me the last thing I said was "fuck you." Yeah you can see where I'm at in this point in time. But besides that, Yasmine had here baby eight months ago. It's a boy and his name is Jaxson Williams. He's so cute. He looks like Yasmine and Elijah. You can't really tell you he look like, he have each one of their feature. Allison and Jacob has have a good healthy relationship. I mean that's what she shows me when they come around. But I'm still confused of why Jay has been showing up out if the blue. Let me rephrase, but every since the whole thing about Wesley and that girl he's been showing up. When I was in the hospital, the doctor told me that he has came and checked on me and I kinda of think that's weird. Everything has been turning out to be so weird but I'm not going to sweat over it.

Ding! Ding!

I snapped out of my thought and got up and went to answer the door.

"Bestie! How are you!" Yasmine and Allison yelled as I opened the door.

"Hi." I said to them and waved at Elijah and Jacob.

They walked in and I hugged Jacob. He hugged me back. I needed this. I pulled away and hugged Elijah. They both are all I got of Wesley.

I pulled away and walked over to my couch.

"So what y'all do today?" I asked them sitting on the couch.