cold and alone

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The ride in the van was absolute hell. 

After the doors had shut, I sat on the cold floor of the van, alone and scared. I could hear Rick's broken voice through the heavy doors. I looked around the dark van and noticed a heavy, dark liquid on the floor. It must've been Daryl's. My mind couldn't help but picture what was lying just outside the doors. The scared faces that I saw before the doors shut was burnt into my mind. That image would never leave me, and I knew it. 

The door of the van swung open and I could tell the dark figure wasn't here to play nice. I scrambled to my feet and jumped from the back. I ducked underneath his reach and ran towards Rick. 

"God damnit, someone fucking grab her! Who the fuck didn't tie her up?" Negan's voice boomed from behind me. Guns were raised and cocked threateningly. My brain noticed Glenn's lifeless body on the ground. His head was gone, leaving only blood and gore. I chose to try and wipe that scene from my memory.

My feet carried me to Rick's broken figure and I embraced him into a hug. He was just as surprised as I was at my actions and I knew that they would cost me. He shakily held onto my small frame. I nuzzled my head into his neck, knowing this was the last time I could embrace him. He was like my second father.

"It's not your fault. It's not your fault." I whispered into him. His body erupted into sobs. So did mine. 

Hard hands grabbed onto my torso and pulled me from Rick's broken grasp. I whimpered at the loss of touch and reached my arms out. I probably looked like a toddler being pulled away from her mother. His blue eyes were dull and grey. The look he had was haunting. The person dragging me back to the van had a hard grip on me as I reached out for anything I could. 

My gaze met Maggie's and she looked dead. She looked like the life had been taken from her soul and stomped into the gravel. It had been.

 My mind flashed to the day Glenn proposed to her. That was my favorite day. The smug look on their faces as they entered the cell block was something I would never forget.

The man carrying me roughly turned me around so that my chest was against his. 

"Don't ever pull that shit again." His breath was on my face and the bile rose again. His hand raised up and came back down to my face. I could see Daryl flinch behind the man.

 I could see Daryl flinch behind the man

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I looked back to him in shock. The man was on the hefty side. His straggly beard was littered on his face. His eyes were full of anger and lust. His yellow teeth showed through his thin lips. He was disgusting. 

"Excuse the fuck out of me, William, but that is no way to treat a fuckin' lady." Negan's voice rang out. The anger once that clouded the man's eyes was replaced with utter fear. Negan walked agonizingly slow towards me and William. 

"I'm sorry, sir. You told me to grab her so I did." William sputtered out like a little child. Negan chuckled for the thousandth time. The sound made William loosen his hold on me. My hand instantly grabbed my cheek in pain. Blood trickled down the side of my face.

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