Innocence Lost (Negan x OC)

bombs away

"Kill them all." Negan said sternly.

My whole world came crashing to the ground at those words he spoke. My body suddenly felt weak. I felt like I was going to pass out. Had I even fully processed those words yet?

I get it. I know that Rick would stop at nothing to kill Negan, and that he should be stopped, but the fact that Negan was going to kill my whole fucking family was the utmost betrayal to me. This was worse than Rick shooting me. This was worse than Rick sending Fletcher to get rid of me. This was something that made me lose almost all of the love I had for Negan.

The trays of food I held in my hands fell to the floor. The plates broke and the food spilt out everywhere on the concrete. I knew this had just alerted Negan and his company, so I snapped out of it and took off down the hallway. When I rounded the corner, I heard the door swing open.

"What the hell?" Simon grumbled in confusion. I heard the remaining pieces of the plates crunch underneath his heavy boot. I heard him huff and call to Negan. Shit.

"Boss, y'might want to come see this." He shouted. His gruff voice echoed through the hallway and made it's way towards me. I needed to get out of here. Now. If I didn't alert Alexandria soon, they would all be murdered.

"Who brought this up here?" Negan asked and Simon replied with a quick "Not sure."

That was my cue to get going before I was caught and before I could look at Negan's face. I knew if I looked at him, I would despise him for the rest of my life. Everything about the past 5 minutes made me want to take a car and get the fuck away from him and from everyone and everything.

I made my way down the stairs quickly and ran towards my room. When I got inside, I grabbed my rifle and a couple clips of ammunition. My door slammed behind me, the sound echoing off the walls. I was so broken. What was I even doing? Would they even accept me back?

What kind of a question was that? Of course they wouldn't. But I had to try. When I got to the garage, a Savior was guarding the cars and supplies with a rifle.

"I need a car, please." I said to the guard of the garage. He looked to me and his eyes widened. He cleared his throat and sprung into action, opening the door and letting me walk through. He must think that I was as important as Negan because I was sleeping with him. The thought made bile rise in my throat.

"Yes, sir- I mean m'am, sorry. I'm not use to a female in charge." He smiled nervously. I almost chuckled at his slip up but then I remembered why I came here. He walked me over to Negan's black dodge charger and I swallowed dryly at the memories I had of him in there. His hand on my thigh. His voice and laugh filling the small area.

Everything would remind me of him.

"I figured you would want to use this since it's Negan's and you've driven in before. Is that okay?" He asked and I smiled weakly.

"That's fine." I replied and took the keys from his outstretched hand. He walked off after that and I was left alone. I watched the garage door lift as he allowed me access to outside of the gates.

I breathed out shakily when I got into the car. It smelt like him. The peppermint wasn't intoxicating anymore. It was sickening to me. I had to scoot the seat forward so I could reach the pedals, which obviously wasn't a problem for Negan.

My fingers gripped the steering wheel tightly and it caused my knuckles to turn white from the tension. I breathed out and looked forwards.

If I left right now, anything I had with Negan would be lost. Our love that we shared would be broken in two. The man I love would turn into the man I once loved. He would become the enemy and I would become apart of the side that yearned for his downfall. That is, if they'd have me back.