Innocence Lost (Negan x OC)

look what you did to me

What the hell, Carl?

The blood from the bodies was starting to pool on the ground around them and I looked to Carl again.

"What are you doing?" I asked, walking up to him. He had a scowl etched on his face but it dropped when I got closer.

"I'm here for him." He growled, pointing his gun at Negan.

Negan had a smirk on his face as he walked around. He weaved in and out of a couple Saviors, hiding behind them for safety. 

"Did Rick send you?" I asked, searching his face. He shook his head and raised his gun at Negan higher. So Rick had no idea? 

Negan's smile grew as he neared me. My body tensed immediately. Before I knew what was happening, Negan's arm wrapped around my body, holding my arms to my sides. I felt the cold edge of a knife on my throat and I swallowed. His head was by my shoulder and I breathed rapidly.

Was he seriously threatening to kill me? What an asshole. Seriously. 

Carl looked conflicted. He looked to me and then to Negan, to Dwight and then to the other Saviors. 

"Put the gun down, kid. If not, I'm gonna have to turn this little kitten into a gruesome sprinkler." I could tell he was smiling. Carl challenged him, keeping the gun raised. He didn't think he would do it. But I knew he would. He didn't care about my life. He could cut my throat and not even think twice about it. 

I felt the knife push farther against my throat and the blood started to trickle. Oh my god, he was going to kill me. I gasped as it ran down my neck and Carl started to look scared. He started to put the gun down and then he was on the ground. Dwight was on top of him instantly with the previous rifle he held now pointing at his face. I felt the knife lower and his hold on me was gone. Negan pushed me forward and my hands went to my throat. I fell to the ground by the truck and leaned against the tire.

He had just treated me like a fucking toy. It was like I was just any other person to him. 

'That's because you are, you dense idiot.' My subconscious scolded. She was right. I was. My hand left my throat and it was covered in blood. He didn't go deep enough to damage anything but I knew it was only seconds before that. My eyes flickered to his. He didn't look sorry at all. He didn't look like he regretted what he did just a tad bit. He looked like the first time I saw him. Terrifying and threatening. 

It was then that I realized I meant nothing to him. The first time I kissed him meant nothing. He was just trying to get into my pants. And last night when he had his mouth against my neck? It meant nothing. I wanted to cry, but I stopped myself. What was I thinking? That we would get married and have children? That he would forget about his wives for me? That he would become soft? I was a fucking idiot. Inside I knew it was only a matter of time before the realization of reality would hit me. 

"Dwight, take her to Dr. Carson. Then bring to her to my room afterwards." He looked at me and I tore my gaze from his. Asshole. And I did not under any circumstances want to be in his room. Dwight got off Carl and walked towards me. His eyes were filled with pity as he held his hand out to me. I took it and stood up. The blood on my neck had started to clot and dry as I walked towards the door with Dwight. I looked back and saw Negan offering Carl his hand to stand up. I swore, if he hurt him, I would kill that son of a bitch once and for all. 

-

Dr. Carson cleaned up my cut with a wet cloth and some gauze. Dwight watched me carefully as I sat on the table in thought. I just could not believe what had just happened. Wait, yes I could. Once again, I was being dense.