Fifty Shades Of Matthew Gray

Chapter Twelve// Nameless, Faceless

Season break was quickly over. The break was pretty fun, I guess. Shemar and I went on a few dates, but they were really nothing. Most of the time we just stayed at our own houses.

It was the very first episode of season five. I read over the script and realized I wasn't in it much. The director decided to let me film most of my parts in one day, to go ahead and get them over with.

After a long day of filming, I decided to stay in my trailer. I drew in my notebook until about 9pm, when I heard a knock on my door.

I watched as Shemar let himself in my trailer. I didn't even mind. He sat down at my small table that we once at McDonald's at. He eyed me, noticing my pajamas.

"Were you about to sleep?" he asked me.

"Yeah. Long day," I replied, pushing myself up into a sitting position.

"Could I join you?" he asked, a hopeful tone in his voice.

"Sure," I answered. I quickly got up and shut all the blinds. Then I locked the door and sulked to the couch. I pulled out the seats and made the couch into a bed.

"Your trailer is a lot more organized than mine," Shemar laughed.

I nodded and laid down on the futon. He laid beside me, putting his arm around me.

"I wish things could be easier," I sighed.

"Maybe they can be," Shemar suggested, his voice growing quieter.

"Like what?" I asked, but he already seemed to have drifted into sleep. I edged myself a little closer to him and shut my eyes.

*****
I woke up cold. I fluttered my eyes open to see Shemar was gone. I pushed myself up and searched the trailer, hoping Shemar was just somewhere throughout it. He wasn't.

The door was unlocked. The biggest possibility was that he went home, or he went to his own trailer. But, I still felt the need to call him.

I picked up my phone and dialed his number. It went straight to voicemail. Even though I was kinda scared, I let myself believe he had already went to set.

I quickly dressed, left my trailer, and went to the set. The second I walked in, everyone looked at me with a look of disappointment.

"What happened to Shemar?" Thomas asked me.

"I don't know," I replied. "I was thinking he was here."

"Well he's not." Thomas seemed snappier. "And there's no trace of him in his trailer. All that's in there is his script and wardrobe."

A.J. grabbed his arm and said softly, "Calm down, Thomas. He's probably just late."

Thomas nodded, but I could still tell he was angry. We started to film the episode with Shemar.

Shemar wasn't just late, he never showed up. We had to film the whole episode without him. They made Spencer just fill in for Derek.

At the end of filming, everyone started to grow anxious to know where Shemar was. Thomas called him, but it went to voicemail. The same happened with Joe and A.J.

I started to leave, hoping to get away from the bitter cast and producers. However, I was stopped by Simon.

"Gubler, wait."

I turned to look at him. "What is it, Simon?"

"Can you go to Shemar's trailer before you leave? He might be there." he asked.

"Sure, but I thought Thomas said he wasn't in there," I remarked.

Simon sighed. "Just try, please."

I walked out of the set and to Shemar's trailer. I knocked, but just as I expected, there was no answer.

I texted Simon and told him Shemar wasn't there. I then called Shemar. He didn't answer, so I gave up and went home.

I got home and went straight to the bathroom. I started my shower and was getting undressed, when I heard my phone ringing.

I sulked to my charging phone and glanced at the name. Shemar. I quickly answered it.

"Hey," I said, walking to my shower and turning of the water.

"Hi Pretty Boy." I smiled at his greeting.

"Where were you today? I had to fill in for your scenes."

"Oh, I was busy. Tell Simon and the others that I'm just taking off a bit."

"They're gonna kill you,"

"I'll be back soon."

We had a fairly long conversation, until we decided to hang up. I was just glad he was okay. I hoped with all my heart that he would be coming back soon.

*****

A few episodes later and Shemar still hadn't come back. Unfortunately, that left me with barely any free time, since Derek's important role was replaced with Spencer.

I missed Shemar more than anyone else did. It was almost obvious. I knew he said he just wanted a break, but the dark side of my mind told me that he might leave.

At the end of filming our ninth episode, I knew I couldn't wait any longer. I left the set without telling anyone goodbye and drove over to Shemar's house.

I knocked on the wooden door and waited. At first it was quiet, but soon I heard shuffling and the door started opening.

"Matthew? What are you doing here?" Shemar asked as he opened the door.

"I just wanted to check on you," I said quietly, all thoughts leaving my brain.

"Come in." He placed his hand on my shoulder, pulling me inside.

We walked into the kitchen, but we didn't sit.

"I want you to tell me if you're leaving or not." I tried to prepare myself for whatever answer he'd give.

"I honestly don't know. I just don't like living in secrecy about us dating, but if they found out we might get fired," Shemar sighed.

"I don't want you to leave," I said, trying my best not to grow too upset. I sat down in the nearest seat and looked at him with puppy eyes.

"I guess we could tell them about us dating," he suggested. "Just risk it."

I thought about it. "If it means you'll come back."

"Okay then," he nodded, walking over to where I was sitting. "Tomorrow we'll confess."

I took a deep breath and leaned my head on his chest. "Tomorrow."