The Crying Game

Chapter Eleven

Maybe I messed up.

But what else is new? I do everything on an impulse. Those who know me should know this by now.

I always believed that there has always been a way out, but maybe this time I was far over my head to believe that we could do something for Elena Gilbert. I was sure that once we got rid of Kai, at least we'd have a free path to sort things out. But now that everything seems attached to what Kai's powers were, I'm not sure if I could help Bonnie break this curse without losing her.

That was my biggest concern. I didn't want to end up losing my best friend just so someone like Damon Salvatore could have the love of his life back. I didn't think he deserved it, but if this is what Bonnie wanted, then I was willing to do my best. But yet, nothing was coming up.

It was all a great distraction from what was really on my mind.

But that didn't make it all go away. After my slight recovery from the battle, things had begun to slowly come to light, and the rude awakening I was hoping to avoid had come full circle. I wanted to believe that just maybe I was able to move on without disturbances, but now I made shit a lot worse than I had planned, and that was I messing things up once again.

I guess it all sums up to Paul and Tyler.

Two men who would seem entirely different in every way, but somehow eerily similar to a point. Tyler still believed that he was the boss in many ways, and when it came down to me, he still had his habits of believing that I would jump for him when I used to. Still, the cocky bastard that thought I belonged to him the moment another man came into my life, it's just... I didn't know that another came into my life.

Now Paul was different this time. What used to be a close replica to Tyler; sworn to be twins in some way by their volatile personalities and assertive yet stubborn personalities –faded with someone I never thought I would know. It was as if the worlds shifted the moment he came back into my life, all because he claims that I changed his life in a way I didn't want to. I still don't believe him, but when his entire pack as his witness –it's hard to deny the fact that I just maybe his imprint.

It didn't make sense either. Especially when the purpose of it totally voids the reason why it all seems plausible. I couldn't give Paul what an imprints purpose could be. A child was far from my capabilities -everyone knew that, if this was some sick joke, then they needed to drop it before someone gets hurt.

But the thing was, Paul's personality has changed so much that I found it hard to believe that this was the same man who threatened my life more than once, only to promise to protect me in every way he could. Catering to me when I was recovering? Tending to my wounds when I didn't ask him? Concerned for my well being when he was close to taking my life before? Now, all tossed aside because he believes that I'm the center of his world.

I could hope for the difference. But when it came to Tyler, things would go downhill in a second. Jealousy -something I thought I would never see in either of them.

Whenever Tyler would even come close to me, Paul's stance would change drastically from calm to a monster ready to rip his prey to shreds, and Tyler was always the target because he believes he deserved another chance with me.

I couldn't stand it whenever they became animals.

I had to threaten them both to stay away from me if it all continued. Even so, I wasn't sure why I even gave the proposition when a part of me didn't want either of them near me.

But then there's the other part of me that missed having them around. Why? I still wasn't sure.

Bonnie said it was the imprint playing its course. That had me questioning why I still missed Tyler. Seth says that has to do entirely with what I felt about him in the past. It may have been real, but so was the constant abuse of it all. Tyler was the same, but Paul was someone I hadn't known.