Deviant By Design (ConnorxReader)

-18-

-Y/N's POV-

Hank is asleep on the couch, Connor and I are sitting at the kitchen table making up cases for each other to solve. Hank mumbles,

"I'm fucking starving." He says. Connor and I look at each other. "Can one of you make the pasta in the cabinet?" Hank grumbles, shifting on the couch. Connor and I look at each other.

"Lieutenant, cooking is not in our programming." Connor says calmly. Hank sits up groggily,

"Are you for-fucking-real?" He says, we both nod, "Why?" He asks.

"Well... we don't really need it. We're not household assistants Hank, we were made to be detectives." I respond. Hank sighs,

"Well maybe you should learn." He flops back onto the couch. Connor and I look at each other.

"Why not?"Connor shrugs, and we go into the Lieutenant cabinets to get the food. We find the pasta he had been talking about and read the box.

"Boil a large pot of water and a small pinch of salt. Use 4 to 6 ounces of water per pound of pasta." I read aloud.

"4 to 6 ounces?... Which is it?" Connor asks, taking the box and examining it.

"4 to 6 Connor so..." Then I pause and think about it, "Well really it could be any number between 4 and 6." You say.

"There are an infinite amount of numbers between 4 and 6." Connor responds, his eyes searching the box."

"Well... pick one." I say.

"5.3 ounces" He responds, we both start laughing. I walk to the sink and fill the pot with 5.3 ounces, I can measure the water just by looking at it and once it reaches the amount I put the pot on the stove. Connor is searching through Hank's drawers and cabinets for salt. I lean down and turn the stove on, it clicks and the surface glows red. Connor pulls the salt out.

"How much is a pinch of salt?" He asks. I shrug and he pours it into his hand, before taking a pinch of the pile in his palm. He puts the salt in the water and dumps the rest back into the container.

A minute or so later I dip a finger in and gauge the temperature. It's only 100 degrees, I sigh,

"How long does it take?" I ask.

"I don't know, water boils at 212 degrees Fahrenheit or 100 degrees Celsius." Connor responds.

"Connor i know that, you realize we both know basically the same stuff?" I laugh. Connor blushes and blinks for a moment.

"Sorry." He says. I laugh,

"It's fine Connor."

We sit back down at the table and start giving each other riddles, and brainteasers to keep ourselves occupied while we wait for the water to boil. A few minutes later we hear sizzling, I turn around to see the water spilling over the edge and falling onto the stove top where it steams. Connor and I both stand up quickly,

"Uh Lieutenant?" Connor says, I quickly turn the stove down and the water starts to calm down. Hank grumbles but doesn't get up.

"It's fine, it's fine." I say.

"Maybe this was a bad idea..." Connor responds, taking a hand towel and sopping up the water that spilled over onto the floor.

"Hank wanted pasta..." I shrug. Connor just laughs a bit and stands up,

"Alright well, what now?" He asks.

"Umm, I think we just put the pasta in..." I say, dumping the box in, "They're harder than I thought..." i say, the pasta sticks up and out of the pot.

"Do you think we should have used a bigger bowl..." Connor asks, looking at how most of the noodles are coming out of the water.

"This was the biggest pot the Lieutenant has..." I respond.

"Here, I know what to do." Connor says before snapping the pasta in half and putting the halves that had stuck out of the water into the other side of the pot. He looks at me and smiles proudly.

"So when will it be done?" I ask, taking the box. The water from the pot overflowing had spilled onto the cardboard box on the counter beside it and had soaked it. I try to read the directions but the cardboard is so soggy it ends up sticking to the counter and ripping away. I pull it off the wet counter but at this point it's indecipherable.

"It's fine," Connor says, tossing the box into the recycling, "I think it's done anyways." He says, taking the pot off the stove and pouring some pasta and water into a bowl.

"Is that it?" I ask.

"Yes, yes I think so." Connor responds confidently, "Lieutenant... Lieutenant." He says loudly, before walking to the couch and shaking Hank.

"We made you dinner!" He smiles. Hank sits up and looks over at me, raising his eyebrows.

"I thought it wasn't in your programming?" Hank says, rubbing his eyes, "And it's 2 in the morning."

"Yes but earlier you said you wanted pasta." I respond smiling as well.

"Right... right I guess I did." He stands up and walks over. I hand him the bowl full of pasta and water.

"Oh what the fuck is this?" He says laughing. Connor and I both furrow our eyebrows,

"What do you mean Lieutenant?" I say, looking down at the bowl. The pasta noodles float around, half boiled half raw in the lukewarm water.

"Jesus Christ." He sighs, pouring the bowl back into the larger pot, placing it back on the stove and turning it on again.

"Alright pay attention." He says, stirring the noodles. He waits for them to fully cook before draining the water into the sink and setting the pasta aside. He reaches into one of the cabinets while Connor goes to examine the pasta.

"Yes, this does look different than ours Y/N." Connor says.

"No kidding." Hank responds. He takes a can of pasta sauce and pours it into a new pot, heating that and stirring it as well before pouring it over the pasta.

"Lieutenant you forgot to drain that." I say, Hank looks at me and raises an eyebrow.

"What?" Hank asks,

"Well... you drained the pasta into the sink, but... you didn't drain that." I say, nodding towards the sauce. Hank sighs and shakes his head, putting a hand to his temple as though he's gotten a headache.

"No, no you don't have to drain everything you make, just the things you boil in water, ok?" He says. Connor and I both nod. Hank takes the bowl of pasta and puts it on the table, sitting down to eat.

"Thanks for the effort." He says sarcastically. Connor and I sit down with him and look at how different the food looks now.

"You don't have to fucking watch me eat." Hank says, raising his eyebrows at the two of us, sitting and staring.

"Sorry Lieutenant." Connor says. Hank goes to take a bight of the pasta,

"What the?... why is this pasta so.... short?" He asks, looking at the fork of pasta that we had cracked in half while boiling.

"Size doesn't matter Lieutenant." I respond, he spits out the bite he'd just taken and almost chokes.

"What? Is it bad?" Connor asks, looking worried. Hank just tries to catch his breath, shaking his head.

"Fuckin hell." He sighs.

*Thank you to everyone who commented on the last chapter, I really love the support and suggestions and I'd absolutely love to hear more from you guys! I hope you liked this chapter, I'll be back with more soon <3

-Amyyy