Dance with The Devil

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A Few Hours Later

Julian comes down the stairs, his hair still damp from his shower. He goes to the fridge and opens it up, looking around. The back door opens, rushed footsteps coming towards him. He turns around just as Leo plows into him, hugging his legs. "I missed you, Daddy!"
Julian picks Leo up, giving him a tight hug. "I missed you too, buddy. I wish I could spend more time with you, but-"
"Derek needs you?"
"Yeah. I know it doesn't seem fair that I'm spending all this time with him, but I really appreciate how good you're being for Kim and Oscar." Julian says, poking Leo's nose.
Leo smiles at him, getting more comfortable in his dad's arms. "Daddy, can I come back with you and meet Derek?"
"No, buddy, I don't think that's a good idea. It's very scary to see how Derek is right now. I think we should wait until he's out of the incubator."
"I don't care if it's scary, I wanna meet Derek." Leo insists, giving his most convincing puppy dog eyes yet.
Julian gets caught in his brown gaze, starting to melt. The door opening and closing again gets his attention. He turns to Oscar. "Hey, bud. How was Leo today?"
"He's always great. How's Derek?"
"Getting stronger every day. I'm taking Leo to go meet him, do you wanna come too?" He asks.
Oscar shakes his head and puts his hands up. "I don't think I'm ready. I'll wait."
"Okay. I'll have your mom take Leo when she leaves work. Be good, no parties." Julian jokes.
"Can I invite Joss?" Oscar asks.
"You wanna invite your girlfriend over when you're gonna be completely alone?" Julian asks. Oscar nods, looking down. "Just be safe, check cabinet in me and your mom's bathroom. They may not be your size but it's better than nothing."
"Wha- no! We aren't going to, no, not like that! I just, hanging out."
"Sure. Have fun, your mom will be home in a few hours." Julian says, adjusting Leo and heading out.

Julian sets Leo down outside Derek's room and brushes the wrinkles out of his clothes. "Okay, buddy, it might be a little scary, so if you wanna leave, you can tell me. I won't be mad at you."
"It's okay, Daddy, I'm not scared."
Julian pushes the door open, hanging back. Leo walks in slowly and climbs onto the chair next to the incubator. He swallows, looking over to Julian. "He's really, really little. Hi, Derek, I'm your big brother, Leo. He's kinda cute, like an alien. I love you, Derek. I'm gonna be your best friend and I'll never let anyone bully you at school."
Julian places his hand on Leo's head. "You're gonna be the best big brother ever."

The Next Day

Julian knocks on the all too familiar door, he'd picked it. A second later, Alexis opens the door, her light sweater showing off her bump. "Hi, Julian. How are you?"
"I'm tired. And I'm sorry about how I acted yesterday. You really upset me and while I meant what I said, I shouldn't have yelled at you, or at all. It's been an emotional little while, what with Derek and all."
"I figured. I didn't take it too much to heart. I mean, I still felt a little hurt, but I know you're going through a lot and I just added to it. I should've told you about the baby a long time ago. You deserve that much." She says, moving to the side and letting him in.
"So, we have custody to talk about. I know you'll wanna spend most of the time with them but I won't be cut out. I want fifty percent physical custody. We make all major and even minor decisions together. That includes doctors, schools, sports, who's going to be in their life, and anything else like that. I know you want more time while they're young but I still get to be involved."
"Of course you can be involved in their life." Alexis says, holding his hand. He pulls it away, shoving them in his pockets. "But I do plan on strictly nursing for six months, so I would need to have more time with them."
"I understand, but you can pump and send with them. The other moms are offering to pump so-"
"My child will not be fed any other woman's milk."
"I was just using that as an example to show that I have a plan set up. I get that when they're a brandy newborn you want them you, but that's critical bonding time, time I need to have too. You're gonna be nursing, you have a sure way to bond. I need to make time, it won't just happen. My whole life I have been denied chances to be a real father, this is my last chance and I won't mess it up for any of them."
Alexis takes a deep breath and moves to the couch, patting the seat next to her. Julian sits, finding himself a little closer than he intended. "Julian, we can talk technicalities later, I'm willing to work things out. Right now, I need to focus on us. I've tried to move on from you, I really have. And I know, I can be a strong, independent woman, but I don't want to. Just because I can take care of myself doesn't mean I should be lonely.
I, I've tried to fill the void you left. Drinking, then that Dr. Bitch, then Finn, and even you again a few times. Now I'm expecting a miracle baby and it's still not what I want. Don't get me wrong, this baby is my heart and soul. But there's still something missing from my life. It's you. I can see a life with this baby, but you're in it. Not just as their father, but my partner." She leans forward and kisses him.
He doesn't pull away, he just lets her linger. She moves onto his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. He, eventually, places his hands on her back and keeps her close.
She goes for his shirt buttons, getting halfway down before he stops her. "I can't do this, it isn't right." He says.
"Fuck right and wrong. We are the very definition of what's wrong. But we're so right."
"We have to at least move to the bedroom." He says, giving in and going back in for another kiss.

Later

Julian runs his fingers down Alexis' arm. She kisses his chest, resting in the curve of his body. "That was good."
"I just cheated on Kim."
"Than leave her. You clearly don't love her. You loved me and you never cheated on me."
"I never needed to. Everytime things got even a little rocky, you would jump ship and break up with me. And you're wrong, I do love Kim."
"Bullshit."
"It's not. It's a different love, but it's still love." Julian tells her, sitting up and starting to get his clothes back on.
Alexis sits up, placing her hands on his shoulders. "I love you."
He goes still, a tear rolling down his cheek. "I love you too. But it would never work. And I can't so that to Kim or the babies. Kim is already a part of their lives, I can't do that to them."
"That makes sense, why you're staying with her. It's for the babies. It's because you have to. Obligation."
"I'm with Kim because I love her and see a future with her."
"How'd she react to finding out I'm pregnant?"
"She knows it happened before her and I were together. It's just another step-kid."
"It's probably killing her. Anyone with half a brain or even just eyes can see there's something more between us."
"Goodbye, Alexis."

A Few Weeks Later

Kim plants a kiss on Julian's lips, a smile across her face. "I checked Derek's vitals this morning and he's strong enough to come out of the incubator. You can hold your little boy."
He doesn't wait another second before limping to Derek's room, he'd been having a rough morning. Even at thirty two weeks pregnant, Kim manages to keep up with him pretty well.
He gets himself into the rocking chair. Kim gets Derek out and quickly into Julian's arms.
"Hi, baby boy. I know, this is new." Julian coos, running his finger down Derek's soft cheek. He settles into the chair, starting to hum Puff the Magic Dragon. It had become a routine for them.
Kim kisses Derek's head, her eyes locking with Julian's. "I'll give you two some time alone." She offers, heading out.
Julian starts to lose track of time, too busy paying attention to Derek. "You smell so good." He beams, kissing Derek's fuzzy head. "I thought I loved you the most before, but this just blew the roof off. I don't think you could get any more perfect. Someday real soon you'll be able to come home with us and things will be really good."
There's a soft knock on the door. Julian looks up expecting to see Lucas or even Liz. Instead, Sam stands there. "Can I come in?"
He nods, holding Derek ever so slightly closer to his chest. She kneels in front of them, placing her finger in Derek's open hand. "This must be Derek. He's so big for early he was. He's made such a good recovery. Hi, Derek. I'm your big sister, Sam."
"Don't go putting lies into his head." Julian says, leaning back, pulling Derek away from Sam.
She gets up and sits in one of the actual chairs. "I heard you and my mother are going to co-parent. Kristina and Molly were not happy about that. But I think they've gotten over it. It was a lot because of that picture of you and Leo with Derek that Kim put on Facebook. The one where Leo is reading to Derek. You have your hand in the incubator and the other is keeping Leo's place in the book. It was really cute. I know it's soon, but can I hold Derek?"
Julian doesn't answer, which is more than enough of an answer for Sam. "I get it, I didn't wanna hear you out and now you're pissed at me."
"I'm not helping you with Scout's custody. I know that's all you want. I already promised Drew, and it's better for her to have her father in her life. He's just going for split custody, he's not taking her away from you."
"It would've been nice to have your support. And it's not the only reason I came. Derek is my brother, so is Leo. And the other babies are my siblings too." Sam points out, trying to not make eye contact.
"So I am. But I know you'll never consider me your father. Which is why they'll never be your family. Unless you accept me as a valid part of your family, my children will not be part of yours."
"Than I guess since this isn't my little brother, I should leave."
He waits until she's halfway out the door. "Hey, Sam. You'll always be my baby girl."
She swallows and keeps walking.


















So, funny story. The original header head Julian and Alexis on the bottom but it looked like Leo was looking down disapprovingly at his dad and Alexis, so I put them on the top. In doing so it now looks like Derek is giving Dad the stinkeye.

The title will make more sense when I put out the playlist.

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