Mending My Broken Heart

Chapter Twenty-Four

The majority of pack members had headed in by 10 with either kids of their own or threats of training early tomorrow morning. So it was back down to just our little group. As we sat around a bonfire, the smell of burning wood and opened alcohol drifting around our patio, I found myself really thinking about Mason and his episode last night. What was up with that? Why did he go and completely lose it? And why had Lucas tell me not to make too big of a deal out of it?

Watching Mason keep up a steady conversation with the others as I sat and swayed on his lap, I couldn't help but notice how his face never seemed to truly smile. He only ever seemed to be completely happy in a moment where I surprised him with something I did.

And even then it would fade quickly as if he wouldn't allow himself to enjoy his happiness.

"I'm gonna go grab a drink inside,'' I whispered to him, landing a peck on his forehead before getting up and padding inside. I'd seen Lucas go in there a moment ago. Just as I opened the door, he turned the corner from the hallway into the dining room. I stood in his way so he couldn't exit.

''What's up, Ava?'' he asked, questioning me as I stood there.

''What happened Lucas?'' I asked back softly, tilting my head as he realized what I meant,''I'm not trying to pry, but I want to make Mason-'' I cut off there, not really sure what I wanted to help him with. I wanted him to be able to be happy and not feel, well, guilty. I looked down, not able to finish my sentence.

''You know, you are exactly what he needed,'' Lucas broke the silence with gentle words and I looked up, confused,''I mean, he didn't let anybody in to his personal life. He didn't really date, and I had to play the beta card sometimes just to get him to listen to me, because he claimed he didn't need a best friend.''

I looked up at Lucas, feeling myself getting more and more sad. I looked out of the door and saw Mason's face. He looked more resigned now that I was gone. He just held his gaze on the fire and paid little attention to those around him. Sighing, I turned back to Lucas.

''I don't know how I can help him. How can I fight what's hurting him if I don't even know what it is?'' I asked and Lucas looked down.

''I know you need to know, but it's better if Mason tells you himself,'' Lucas finally replied. I didn't like it but I nodded anyway. It did seem better that he chose when I find out what demons are haunting him.

''Fine,'' I replied and we walked out there, beer in hand.

''Ava, I didn't know you drank!" Page teased. The truth was, as a werewolf, beer was as harmless as water thanks to our hyperspeed metabolisms. I didn't really understand the scientific details, but I knew that only hard liquor and some champagnes downed quickly could give us any sort of buzz. And now I knew from first hand experience.

''Says the girl with a daiquiri in her hand,'' I reminded her, she looked down and giggled, causing me to sigh as I sat back on Mason's lap.

''Miss me?'' I smiled, leaning into his chin and bringing the cold rim of the bottle to my lips.

''Like Hell,'' he spoke with complete sincerity.

''Good,'' I smirked, looking deep into the flames.

''And did you miss me?'' He asked, teasing back.

''Meh,'' I faked, which he laughed too, but did exactly what I'd hoped for, tightening his hold around me protectively which caused me to wriggle closer than I already was, an impossibly close position.

''Good,'' he replied, knowing I was joking, making my smile come back full-force.

''What are you two flirting about over there?" Kristen called and I rolled my eyes, leaning my cheek against Mason's chest as I looked over at her.

''Nothing worse than what you were just whispering into Sam's ear right now,'' I smirked and she blushed, causing the circle to break into snorts of laughter. Sam left a kiss on the top of her head and she sighed back into relaxation.

''How can you guys live with yourselves?'' Lizzie slurred. I sighed and looked over at her. If Lucas wasn't here, I'd probably have feigned going up to bed just so she had a reason to leave. Not having your mate can make seeing mates difficult.

''Easily, with our other halves,'' Paige teased back, but I shot her a withering look that shut her up past that.

''What do you mean, Lizzie?'' I played into her show.

''I mean you all are confident women, and yet in the presence of these, these, guys,'' she uttered the word as if the concept were unseemly,''you become attendants to their every whim.''

''Well,'' I started, but Mason cut me off.

''And you don't assume we do the same to them? You knew me, pre-Ava, tell me there is no change, and I will make sure that something is made different,'' Mason assured her, looking her directly in the eye, a show of dominance from the Alpha.

''Um,'' Lizzie hiccupped. I looked up at Mason, and then over at Lizzie. That was the second time tonight I'd been shown to mean something or have changed Mason in some way. And it was true, Mason was very different to the guy I'd met in my father's new home, But he would still blow up if I told him one bit about my past.

''Are you ready?'' Mason asked, to which I smiled a bit and nodded in turn.

''That's it for us, I suppose. Night, all.'' I called to the group, recieving whistles from Kristin and Page.

''Stay safe,'' Astrid remarked cheekily, patting her stomach, to which I laughed and let Mason pull me inside.

The moment we were in his room his lips crashed to mine,''God I've been waiting to do this all night.''

''Shut up,'' I smiled against him, already pealing off his shirt.

***

''So have you ever thought about it?'' He asked, running his hand along my hair as his head was cradled in my lap.

''About what, exactly?'' I replied, noting the way his eyebrow arched and how there was an odd hair curling away from the others.

''What our pups would be like,'' he replied, his eyes holding mine. I looked down, past his face.

''No,'' I spoke, not allowing any emotion into the word.

''Never?''

''We've only been together, for like a week.''

''Known each other for nine,'' he replied calmly.

''Exactly,'' I cried, grabbing the sides of my head and tugging on my hair.

''Ava, I don't think you understand,'' he spoke softly this time, leaning up and taking my hands in his,''you are my only family.''

As I looked back into his eyes, I saw all depth and honesty, so much of it. I nearly couldn't bear it. But I held it.

Now I knew, he had tried, and failed, to protect his parents. And with that on his shoulders, he had taken my attacks all that much more hard. It must have nearly killed him when he discovered that rogues had fought me.

''I'm so sorry,'' I said, pulling him closer. The part that I couldn't tell him is that I wasn't only sorry for scaring him or rendering him defenseless against my attackers, but not confiding in him about everything. He would find out, was all I could tell myself to keep me from bursting. He just needed to know at the right time, after Jackson was taken care of.