I'm Addicted To You~ Zerrie AU

1.

Perrie's POV

My husband drives me nuts sometimes. He isn't ready for a family and I completely understand that because neither am I. We are only 22 years old. Little Mix and One Direction are still fairly new so I don't want kids yet either but he keeps making it such a big deal. He won't even touch me or kiss me because he is afraid of losing himself and getting me pregnant. I mean I'm flattered that he thinks that he can lose himself to me but he needs to calm down. It is making me feel so lonely and unloved.

I pull up at the studio to meet the girls for our 3rd album. We haven't really started it yet because of all the touring we have been doing. Jade has needed time off because she had a devastating break up with Sam after 3 years and also because her grandma died. I had time off because of the wedding and Honeymoon, but Jesy and Leigh just got time off because they couldn't continue without Jade and I.

I walk in the front door and pass the front reception lady, Avery. She is only 20 and a daughter of one of the board members here at Syco. All across the walls are albums in frames. One Direction, Susan Boyle, Rebecca Ferguson, Fifth Harmony, Alex and Sierra, Emblem3, Union J, The Vamps and last on the wall is Little Mix.

"Good morning Mrs Malik." Avery smiles up from behind the desk, pushing her glasses back up her face. I'm not really used to being called Perrie Malik because everybody still calls me, Perrie Edwards.

"Good morning Avery. How are you?" I say stopping at the desk to have a quick chat.

"I'm good. How are you?" She asks typing away at her computer.

"I'm alright. Could be better." I say. It was the truth though Zayn and I are currently not on speaking terms but we will be fine. After yesterdays fight where he sung to me, we ended up fighting again before I left for the studio. I don't really want to stay on that topic. "Are the other girls already here?" I ask her. Today is everyone's first day back so I'm excited to see them.

"Yes. Simon is waiting for you." She informs me. Why would Simon be waiting for me? Today was just to get the third album written.

"Ok thank you." I take off my coat and hold it over my arm.

"Have a nice day Mrs Malik." She looks back up at me through her glasses.

"Please call me Perrie." I smile before waiting down the hall of awards and platinum records. I open the 3rd door on the right revealing the girls and Simon.

"Hey!" The girls jump out of their seats and hug me. I stumble and because I'm in heals it almost knocked me over.

"As nice as it is to see you too. Could you please refrain from knocking me over." I smile. I re-gain my balance from holding the door frame.

"Are you okay?" Jade whisper in my ear when we head back to the seats. I nod and put on a fake smile. I can't tell her about Zayn and I's problems because she would go and confront him. I just want do deal with him my own way.

"Now ladies. 3rd album? How is it going?" Simon asks. He leans across the desk holding a notepad.

"We have 2 songs written and 5 more are half written." Leigh explains to him. She is almost like the mother of this group. Alway on top of everything that is going, so the day i see her in a hurry or flustered. I will be absolutely shocked. Jade is our song writer. She is very creative and now that her and Sam are over most of her songs are about heartbreak. Which is also what I am currently experiencing. I just don't Zayn cares anymore, as if he is trapped in the marriage.

I put together a few song ideas and I guess they are more love then depressed but it is about the way I feel for Zayn. The love and the heartache about the issues but mostly all the love we share. At the end of the day we care for each other and we love each other unconditionally.

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After a long day in the studio, we were able to go home. I want to sort out the issues with Zayn before he next tour in a couple of weeks, but we always find something else to argue or fight about. I personally think it is the fact of by newly weds and financial issues. It is very stressful being a newly wed.

I jump into my car and start the ignition. I turn on the radio as I pull out of the parking lot. I here something weird with the radio, then Zayn's voice comes through the speakers.

"Before you change it Perrie. Please just listen. I never want to have to perform you this song so Im hoping that by playing it now you won't ever leave." He sounds torn and broken. I realise that is exactly how I am. We just keep hurting each other, mentally and physically.

"I drove by all the places we used to hang out getting wasted
I thought about our last kiss, how it felt the way you tasted
And even though your friends tell me you're doing fine

Are you somewhere feeling lonely even though he's right beside you?
When he says those words that hurt you, do you read the ones I wrote you?

Sometimes I start to wonder, was it just a lie?
If what we had was real, how could you be fine?

'Cause I'm not fine at all

I remember the day you told me you were leaving
I remember the make-up running down your face
And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them
Like every single wish we ever made
I wish that I could wake up with amnesia
And forget about the stupid little things
Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you
And the memories I never can escape

'Cause I'm not fine at all

The pictures that you sent me they're still living in my phone
I'll admit I like to see them, I'll admit I feel alone
And all my friends keep asking why I'm not around

It hurts to know you're happy, yeah, it hurts that you've moved on
It's hard to hear your name when I haven't seen you in so long

It's like we never happened, was it just a lie?
If what we had was real, how could you be fine?

'Cause I'm not fine at all

I remember the day you told me you were leaving
I remember the make-up running down your face
And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them
Like every single wish we ever made
I wish that I could wake up with amnesia
And forget about the stupid little things
Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you
And the memories I never can escape

If today I woke up with you right beside me
Like all of this was just some twisted dream
I'd hold you closer than I ever did before
And you'd never slip away
And you'd never hear me say

I remember the day you told me you were leaving
I remember the make-up running down your face
And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them
Like every single wish we ever made
I wish that I could wake up with amnesia
And forget about the stupid little things
Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you
And the memories I never can escape

'Cause I'm not fine at all
No, I'm really not fine at all
Tell me this is just a dream
'Cause I'm really not fine at all."
(COPYRIGHT 5 Seconds of Summer)

"Perrie I miss our fun times and our loved up moments. Please just don't ever leave me." And with that the CD finishes. I realise I am in the driveway of our house, and I am broken down in tears. That was beautiful. 

I jump out of the car with my bag. I race inside and throw my bag on the floor. I find Zayn in the kitchen and run straight at him and throw my arms around him. I knock him to the floor. His back on the tiles and my chest on his chest and he looks up at me in confusion.

"The song was beautiful." I whisper really close to his lips.

"I hope I never actually have to sing that to you." His features soften and he seems like the Zayn I first fell in love with. The Zayn that will always live in a special part of my heart.

"I love you." I state then lean down and kiss him. I cradle his cheeks in my hands as I feel his hands on my waist.

"I love you too. Mrs Malik." He smiles, then re-connects our lips.

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A/N

Chapter 1!!!!!!!! WHOOO!!!!!!!! I hope you enjoyed!!!!!!!!

I love the book, If I Stay. It is so sad but good at the same time.

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Erin xoxo