Raiza's Burden

Chapter 5 I'm strong

The sunrise looked beautiful. Raiza watched the light change colours as she stopped running and watched the miracle. Far away a silhouette took shape, it was a man a strong man whose face was a blur she couldn't identify the person from far. The silhouette recognized her though and waved his hand as he started walking towards her. As the man got closer his form shifted he slowly morphed into a familiar form. She recognized him before he got too close.

"Siddhartha" she gasped and started to run. But the panic had set in she was not able to run she was walking she tried harder and started jogging, it took all her strength to get away but he was faster he caught up and soon embraced her from behind pulling her into him locking her body into his.

"you think you could outrun me?" he whispered in her ears. "I will find you wherever you are"

Fear moved through her body like a snake he kissed her neck and licked it. She shivered as shock vibrated through her.

"NO" she screamed but no sound escaped her mouth.

Siddhartha tightened his grip on her and forced her to face him "look at me he ordered" she looked and gasped it was Siddhartha's face alright but his eyes were different. It was Ailan staring down at her judgment in his eyes.

" you will never escape" Siddhartha declared he tightened his grip on her she tried to push his arms away and realization struck. Those arms she remembered from the party night. The arms that had helped her.

Siddharth was nibbling at her neck creating a trace down her chest. His one hand held her tight while the other groped her breast. She struggled but couldn't escape. He reached her breast and nipped at her bud she gasped he raised his head and snickered "you will always be my prisoner" he declared as he pushed her off a strange cliff.

Raiza woke up screaming drenched in sweat. She surveyed the room her room then herself " I'm alive" she gasped. "a dream, it was a dream" she whispered. "Only a dream" the tears of relief flooded her eyes. She cried feeling happy for her freedom.

"You can't hurt me not anymore" she declared " I will always be free you will not rule my life not now not ever" she declared to empty space. She let the fear that was built inside her go through her tears. As she sobbed the tension and stress left her and slowly a calm settled on her. She felt relief and fell back in her bed. Tears stopped and so did her sobs. Only silence stayed. Her mind was calm and quiet and in that moment of silence, she saw clarity.

The thought had entered her mind like a blast "I'm strong I'm brave" and with it came the physical strength that travelled through her body like electrical flow her body shot up and out of her bed. She walked to her wardrobe opening the doors and accessing the secret chamber. She pulled a brown cover from under and opened it. She retrieved a picture from the cover, her wedding picture. She was happy in the picture absolutely happy. Then she stared at the man next to her in the picture all the anger in her boiled over she remembered his words in her dream.

" I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU" she yelled, it felt good she repeated her phrase again and again till she felt comfortable telling it softly without shivering. She tore the picture in two. Replacing her half back into the cover that was placed back into the secret compartment. She walked out of the room with the half that had Siddhartha's image in it.

"Good morning" she heard Armin but didn't respond. She reached the kitchen and lit the gas stove she held Siddhartha's picture on the fire and watched it burn. " I'm not afraid of you" she declared again.

Armin noticed the action and understood. She was living with her roommate for the last year and a half and understood the ritual well. The first time had been scary but after knowing her story she understood her pain her process and ritual to find relief.

She remembered the first night her roommate had burned a similar picture and screamed "I'm not afraid of you" over and over. Amrin had been scared and decided she wanted to move out. The next day she told her roommate that her behaviour was strange and she was scared of her. Raiza had smiled and started sharing her past without any preamble and at the end, she only said "if you still want to move out I will understand" Armin had hugged her and their friendship had born that day.

Armin sighed and hugged Raiza from behind. "Are you alright" she questioned. Raiza turned and hugged her "now I'm" she answered. They stood in the kitchen for a few minutes holding each other till Raiza's stomach grumbled and they burst into laughter.

"that's what happens when you don't eat for more than 24 hours" Armin chided. "go shower I made lunch" she pushed Raiza to her bedroom.

"you are my life saver what will I do without you? " she blew a kiss to Armin.

"starve to death" Armin replied and winked.

Raiza laughed, it seemed to be their thing talking care of each other. Raiza was grateful for friends like Armin and Roina.

"Roina" she gasped and rushed to her bedroom to look for her phone. She found it under the pile of dirty Landry on her chair. She switched on the phone and soon a dozen or more WhatsApp messages poured in. Sighing Raiza opened Roina's messages.

Where are you?
Why is your phone switched off?
Honey, what happened? ...

Raiza sighed she read all the messages even the ones with threats to walk into her apartment and drag her out. She laughed.

"to drag me out you need to know my address" she typed and added her address. "come over if you have time" she suggested and sent it to Roina.

She knew her friends would forgive her. She took her towel from the hook and walked into the bathroom.