The Black Rose

Chapter Forty-five- Guilt

The next day when Jabe woke up she felt slightly better. 

The memory of what had happened last night still haunted her. It would probably always haunt her. 

Knowing that she couldn't fight back and knowing what Karkaroff had almost taken from her, shook Jabe to her very core. 

Jabe was glad that Karkaroff was dead. 

Or at least she hoped he was. Jabe hadn't stuck around to find out. 

She would find out at breakfast. If Karkaroff was dead the news would be all over the school. 

It could also potentially make things harder for Jabe and crouch. With the death of a head master, would come suspicions and doubts. 

So in a twisted way Jabe hoped that Karkaroff wasn't dead. And Jabe knew that even if he wasn't dead, he would be soon. 

Voldemort was most certainly going to kill Karkaroff when he was reborn. After what he had done, there was nowhere on earth Karkaroff could hide. 

Not from Voldemorts wrath. And as much as Jabe wanted to kill Karkaroff, she knew that no power on earth, even Jabe, would stop Voldemort from hunting him down and making him suffer for what he had done. 

Just thinking of what her love was going to do to Karkaroff made Jabe shiver. 

Knowing how possessive and protective Voldemort was over her, made Jabe smile. It made her feel warm inside, Knowing she had her love to protect her. 

But Jabe also felt weak. She felt disgusted with the fact that she hadn't been able to fight Karkaroff off. Jabe never wanted to be weak. 

She always wanted to be strong. But the simple fact that Jabe had almost been raped by Karkaroff destroyed that wish. 

Jabe was going to make sure she would never be weak again. So the next time. If there ever was a next time, she would be ready. 

She would be strong. Jabe knew that If something like this were to happen again, the chances would be that Voldemort wasn't going to have the strength to save her again. 

Jabe knew how much energy Voldemort had used by connecting to his horcrux. That was not an easy thing to do. 

Especially for someone as weak as Voldemort. 

It would be a while before Voldemort could even think about connecting to his horcrux again. 

Now that Jabe focused she could feel exacly how weak Voldemort was through their bond. 

He wasn't even strong enough to communicate through their bond, something that required very little strength. 

She could feel just how weak he was from last night. It made her heart hurt. And it brought tears to her eyes. 

Jabe swallows slightly as she realizes that she had been the reason that Voldemort had to use what little strength he had left. 

Even though she was glad he had saved her, Jabe couldn't help but feel guilty. 

With everything that had happened Jabe hadn't even thought of the physical repercussions this would have on her love. 

And the more she thought about it, the more her chest hurt. It made her soul hurt. 

Voldemort needed to rest. And he had just used what little strength he had saved on her. This was all her fault. 

If only she had been able to fight Karkaroff off Voldemort wouldn't have had to save her. Jabe swallows and slowly brings the horcrux to her lips. 

Knowing that he would hear her, Jabe softly whispers "I'm so sorry tom." 

The horcrux gives a weak vibration before giving off a faint pulse of heat. 

Jabe knew Voldemort didn't have the strength to speak to Jabe through his horcrux and that just let her know how much last night had weakened him. 

"Rest tom. Please. I know how much last night weakened you. And It was my fault. I'm sorry tom." 

Jabe lets a single tear slip. 

Then Jabe weakly hears in the back of her head 

"No... I would do it again.... if it meant you were safe." 

Voldemort was straining just to say these few words. Every word he spoke caused him pain but that didn't matter to him. 

What mattered was jabes pain. 

That was something he couldn't ignore. 

He would move the world for her if it meant she would never cry again. 

Her tears were like white hot knives and daggers piercing his soul. He hated it. So when he heard his loves broken whispers, what strength he had didn't matter. 

All that mattered was her. 

Voldemorts voice was weak almost non existent. Jabe had to strain just to hear him. Jabe sniffle and kisses the locket once more. 

Voldemort's words brought some comfort to Jabe. But Jabe didn't know if the guilt she felt would ever disappear. Because in a way she had hurt him. 

She had hurt the love of her life. Her everything. And that broke Jabes heart. 

"You should be resting tom. It's my fault that you're this weak. I'm so sorry." Jabe whispers once more. 

Voldemort shushes his love weakly. 

He didn't have the energy to tell her she was wrong. 

To tell her that it would never be her fault. He didn't have the energy to tell her everything he wanted. 

And he didn't even know how much longer he could stand the pain of the connection so he would tell her what she needed to know. 

Jabe hears Voldemort weak chuckle in the back of her head before softly whispering 

"Listen to me... Jabe... I don't care about my strength... I care about you because.... you are absolutely worth the pain... always." 

Jabe lets a few tears slip once more. 

Then Voldemort goes silent. 

Jabe took this as Voldemort cutting the connection. 

Voldemort finally had to cut the connection because he physically couldn't keep it any longer. 

Jabe gives a shaky sigh kissing the locket gently before slowly standing to get dressed. 

Jabe knew that Voldemort had cut the connection due to the lack of strength he had. And that meant he was going to rest. 

Wether he wanted to or not. 

Even though Jabe still felt incredibly guilty for the strength she had taken from her love, his words, knowing he wasn't angry at her and knowing that he would rest, Jabe was able to push that guilt into the back of her mind. 

Because jabe knew that if she were to go out into the school with the guilt she had on her chest that people would notice and questions would be asked. 

So Jabe put on a brave face and started getting ready for the day.