a/n:
if alcohol, tEaRs and heAvY angSt triggers you, i suggest that you don't proceed with this chapter.
buckle up and enjoy the ride <3
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jennie's pov (surprise modafaka)
days.
weeks.
a month.
time spilled slowly underneath my feet. i die a little bit more inside every tick of the clock. i haven't seen jisoo smile because of me in ages. i miss it, every inch of me is craving to see it again.
it's been one month, jisoo haven't talked to me properly yet. i tried to reach for her multiple times, but it didn't work. i swallowed my pride for her, but for some reason -- it just wasn't enough.
i tried to invite her for breakfast, lunch, dinner, but every single time, she would always say she's busy or she has something to do with kenzo.
what is it with him anyways?
what is it with him that made her forget everything about me? is it his gentle nature? his kindness? his selfless self? what's so special about him that made her choose him over me? or maybe it's because i'm just really nothing for jisoo.
maybe for her i'm just someone who's there. . . but not really.
maybe i'm not so important to her than i thought i was.
weeks after weeks, i keep telling myself that one of these days jisoo would come running back to me. but every tick of the clock, i grow more hopeless.
and i want to numb everything. i want to numb my hands that used to squeeze hers whenever she's weary. i want to numb my lips that have tasted every crevice of her trembling mouth. i want to numb my brain because all it does is think of her instead of the solutions to the math problems.
but most of all, i want to numb my heart that continues to love her up to this day even though from the looks of it; i've already been replaced.
i want to numb every piece of me so i'll stop aching. so, i'll stop wanting her to be close to me at all times.
"yo, jennie, you need to stop," i felt lisa's hand gripping my shoulder. "you've drank like 8 shots of vodka. . . if you continue, you're going to pass out," the concern in her voice made me cringe. doesn't she find this ironic or amusing?
i mean, THE jennie kim, who's known to not give a single fuck about anyone's feeling, and is entitled as a "player" is drinking because of a girl? not just some random girl, but the one she bullied and made fun of?
such a hypocrite. yeah, i know.
"it's chill," i shot her a smug smile before grabbing the bottle of vodka and pouring myself another shot.
alcohol. i love the taste of it especially on bitter days -- it makes the concoction taste a lot sweeter. when your stomach gets full of alcohol everything starts to fill alright again. everything feels good, you forget your problems and the cause of your aches, your feel detached from everything, you forget for a while--
and that's what i need. i need to forget jisoo for a while.
"cheers?" i raised my shot glass, expecting lisa to do the same, but she merely shot me a deadly glare.
i felt scared for a second. lisa is a bubbly girl, she never looks mad or frightening.
"what's wrong?" i placed the shot glass down and looked at her worriedly.
YOU ARE READING
the diary // jensoo
Fanfictionjennie bullies jisoo mostly out of boredome. at least that's what jisoo and the people around them think. they think that jennie is cruel and spiteful because bullies are like that. but jennie isn't like that. she doesn't go around picking on peopl...
