unchained

six

t/w - mild reference to feelings of anxiety

Phil
12:30pm

Light rain had started spitting against the cafe windows, but the overcast sky was menacingly dark.
The car journey here was merely an extended comfortable silence. I didn't ask him if he wanted to talk about whatever was bothering him yet. The pit in the bottom of my stomach was gnawing away at my composure. Whatever he had to tell me, he was dragging it out until we reached the cafe.

Dan sat across from me on the corner sofa with his coffee cup grasped firmly between his fingers, the lid resting precariously on his lower lip. Below his eyes, dark circles of sleep-deprivation stained his skin, and his eyes trailed me up and down but failed to meet mine. His brown curls were more unkempt than unusual, and I wondered if he had slept at all.

"It's Amelia," he finally spoke, still staring through the cafe windows. I shunned myself to give him chance to continue, despite everything I wanted to say on the matter.
"I don't know what to do, Phil..."
"You mean, you're not sure if you want to go through with it?" I proceeded with caution, shifting uncomfortably in my chair.
"Oh, God no, I know I want to marry her." He said adamantly, "It's just, she's messing me around a bit. Even though I'm going to be getting married, I feel more alone than ever."
He looked directly at me this time with his watery eyes, and it physically pained me to see him hurt.
"I think it's only natural for you to miss her, she has been gone for a while," I reassured him.
He nodded dolefully.

"She's supposed to be coming here to see the rest of my family, and we were going to hand out the wedding invitations together, but she's postponed her flight... again." He waved his hand, gesturing angrily.
"She's probably just caught up at work, Dan. Probably finishing everything up before she makes her way over here."
"You know she didn't even text me to see where I was last night like she usually does, only to tell me she wasn't going to be coming for another few days. I've only been here two days and I already feel like shit," he said shakily.
"And I've been thinking about what you said the other day, Phil." He continued, "This whole 'fresh start' thing that was supposed to benefit us, I'm not sure if I want it."
My heart plummeted, joining the pit in my stomach, not only because I was sad to see him distressed, but because surely this would mean he was moving back to America?

'Don't be selfish, Phil.' I told myself.

But I wanted to be selfish. I wanted him all for myself. If his relationship wasn't working, surely that meant he was supposed to be with me?

I stopped the self-centred, penetrating thoughts and came to a rational conclusion. He had simply hit a bump in the road with his relationship, and it was only fair that I helped him get through it. It wasn't over. It wasn't like she had cheated on him. He said he loved her, so as long as he was happy...

"You're entitled to your own thoughts and feelings in your relationship, Dan. If something isn't right, you have to let her know. How will she take it?" I said reluctantly.
"I think she'll be okay with it, you know. I'm just nervous..."

The drizzle from the sky continued to fall and individual drops ushered their way to the bottom of the window.

"C'mon." I hoisted myself up from the sofa and took my car keys out of my pocket.
"What? Where are you going?" He asked.
"We're going back to your hotel and we're taking a walk so we can talk about this properly. We're not moping around in here all day like a couple of depressed, middle-aged men."
"I'm not really in the mood..."
"I don't care." I said firmly, knowing this was the best thing I could do for him right now. "Do you not trust me?" I chuckled.
"Uh, yeah I do-"
"Come on then." I smiled, "Life's too short for you to waste time being unhappy, Dan."
"Yeah... okay."

***
a/n
there's another chapter 3 type part coming up next!