Pleased... To Please The Lord

Chapter 10

Khadijah:

It was as if someone had poured ice cold bucket on me, I did not want to believe what I heard was true.I knew that Maarij and Durre were closer to each other than me, but... did I deserve to be treated this foreignly? I felt a pang of hurt in my chest when realization hit me along with this betrayal thing. This wasnt actually betrayal from my friend. It was my stupid mind.

I will not accept this and I wont let my feelings conquer me. I am destined to be here and I'll stay here until God sends me my protector, my rescue , until I am able to run away far from here so that I am not punished for accepting other religion.

Hearing the azaan for Ishaa, it broke me out of my trance and I went into the washroom for performing abulution. This part was always hard. My mother thought that I was getting some OCD. And I had to make her think that way too. I presumed everytime I washed my body parts, that they were dirty and I need to clean them. She nevertheless bought this reason and always sympathised with me, and would say that this all is because I am not getting married to Nadir fast. Strange and creepy!

I felt peace residing in every ounce of my cell, after washing my parts... it was though true, that I was washing my parts from dirt from filth, that I was surrounded with and in which I was involved.

Locking my room after informing my mother that I was doing some project work on which I needed focus, I stood for prayer.

Facing the Qiblah(direction towards which Muslims pray) , I started reciting verses of Quraan with which the prayer commenced. Surah al Fatiha.

After finishing my prayer, I folded my dupatta neatly and placed it inside the cupboard. I had fixed that permanently for prayer purpose only, I could not bring a prayer mat for reasons obvious.

" What happened Dijah, are you too upset with me? What I did was wrong? "

I recieved a text from Maarij and I was planning not to reply, soon another followed.

" Bhai is extremely angry with me too, everyone is mad at me. Aesa bhi kya krdia maine yar! (What did I do so wrong!) Pls say something?? "

I was feeling emotional and pity too, she was wrong though but now everyone was playing angry with her. And, maybe this was my problem... I had a very good heart.

I was just about to type, when my cell buzzed again. This time , the caller displayed was Nadir. How did Nadir? Oh God. What's happening?

I didnt answer my cell, keeping it aside and on silent mode I preferred sleep. Hugging the duvet closer to my body, I recited dua for sleep and the last verses of Surah Baqarah I had recently memorized when I was learning about all the new things of Islam,which were for your protection and a good peaceful slumber.. I drifted away slowly.

***

When I woke up the next day it was past 7 and I had missed my fajar prayer. Missing fajar prayer was like missing your breakfast, you are not charged and your soul is lethargic the whole day. I decided to make up for the qaza prayer, and after taking a quick shower I stood facing the Qiblah.

Meanwhile in prayer, I heard my mom knocking on the door too louder than ever.

I finished off my rakahs by saying salaam, took off my hijab and kept the dupatta aside which I was using as a prayer mat. Before mom could sense anything different, I rushed to open the door. With a big smile I greeted her morning and hugged her. She too returned the gesture. For the time , I was happy that my mom was showering her love on me for which I craved badly however I couldnt stop myself from thinking of it would last after knowing that I was now a Muslim.