Pleased... To Please The Lord

Chapter 17

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Mehmood:

Brushing off the hair falling on my face, I stood up from the edge of the bed and went to fetch the prayer mat that lied on the side table. It had been hectic 5 hours of shopping in the mall, even though we men are infamous for our selection or interest  in shopping stuff but honestly it had taken this much time, and still it wasn't done yet. We had to collect our kurtas back which we had given for alteration and then take the matching khusas(bridegroom's peshawari style footwear).

My phone beeped with a text message, indicating someone apparently Saaleh asking me if I was ready for another trip to Saddar for collecting our sherwanis from the boutique today. It had been two days after going to the mall, we had no time.The wedding rituals were to be started in just a couple of days time.

I texted him back that I'll just pray the two optional rakats (nafl prayer) with the intention of asking Allah's help and then I'll be ready. This sounded like a typical girl but that's okay. Hormones play a role in boys too. Strange, or not you decide.

Folding my hand on my chest I breathed and exhaled as if releasing the toxic air and standing in humility and servitude in front of the Rabb of all worlds. Praying is of great benefit when you want to ask Allah something very desperately , which can be performed in any hour of the day , and that's what I like about these prayers.

" And seek help from Sabr and Salah(namaz) " Al-Baqarah.

There are tahajud prayers too , but this ones are something special to me. That's what my perception is.

Just when I was about to say salaam from my prayers then my phone started ringing.

I said salaam finishing off my prayer, praising Allah first and then reciting a lots of durood shareef I raised my hand in the court of My Lord, The One who listened to me when I didn't speak and also listened to me when I cried and speak volumes.

" Ya Allah, Ya Rahman, You are the master of heavens and earth. You are the master of universe. You know what we seek and what we hide. You know everything which is in our heart and what is in our minds. Ya Allah, I ask you to put in my heart the love of whom you love, the love of whom you have blessed purity with , the love of whom you have accepted their repentance with. Ya Rabb, Ay mere Malik!! Save me from the horror of my past. I ask you forgiveness . Allahumma Aghfirli Allahumma Aghfirli Allahumma Aghfirli. "

I didn't notice when my tears started forming a puddle of salty water in my palms and they were now covering my face,ashamed for anyone seeing them, seeing my tears, seeing my vulnerability ... For the world I was a strong person, who had transformed my scars into my shield. But whenever I was in front of Allah I got the chance to expose myself, my tiniest and weakest form.

" Just coming , don't blow your head off. "

I texted to Saaleh , took a rickshaw and reached the destination. Today we were again here to take our kurtas. Without any delay we met at the café,drank our afternoon teas and then proceeded towards the designer who was requested to alter our sherwanis.

Once again that notorious feeling slowly crawled up my spine, that there was something haunting me... In a fraction of a millisecond, I thought I saw her.

I shook my head in denial for that couldn't be true. This cannot happen for real , never. We tried our kurtas again and this time it fitted us perfectly, now the only errand was to search for khusas.The trouser pant with the sherwani was also all done, now we sauntered towards a peshawari footwear shop. There we found many different kinds of khusas and many more different types of shoes and sandals but what caught our attention was a brown sandle that was like a khusa but had the straps of a sandle.

We asked it's price and felt too much but then again we men are not supposedly known for bargaining but guess what? We bargained! Yes for real! And then we just took our bags and dumped in a rikshaw ,asked him to take us to our home but Saaleh interrupted and instead asked the driver to take us somewhere else. To his dadi's place . If people could have been named with emojis , I would have named him of the constipated vomiting face . Seriously , looking at him one would easilu feel the urge to slap him . My stamina tha I endure him! Uff!

" Assalam.o.Alaikum dadi jaan "

We said greetings in unison as soon as we entered her place .

' Hmm. walaikum assalam . what brings you here young man? '

" Ohh dadi don't act dramatic. I already told you I would only come to meet you when I'm able to bring Mehmood to meet you here. And see I did. I fulfilled my promise daadi. Now you may punish him in whatever way you want. "

Saaleh suppressed a giggle and pushed me a lil forward to where daadi was sitting and asked me to sit beside this burhya...

' Why are you asking to sit beside this bur... Your daadi? '

I kinda whispered but he paid no geed and instead made a lot fun of me ,

" Huh what did you say? You want to stay here with my daadi. Oh don't you worry she is a very nice woman, though she is stern but her nature is kindhearted. She is sweet. I'm sure she would love you as much as she does me. "

His eyes were playing mischievous stunts and I was like no blood inside.

" Beta tmhara rang kiun peela prgya? Shadi ka bukhar chrh gya hay kya? "

( Why are you gotten  pale is that because of wedding fever? )

' uh.. Umm... No no daadi jaan. It's just I was feeling tired.. We had a long day out in shopping. I'll just go and get fresh. Saaleh,mere bhai you accomoany yiur daadi okay. Don't leave her for even a second now when you're here. '

He glared at my direction but now it was my turn to chuckle lightly.

Ma'arij:

After searching through almost whole of the mall we finally concluded on buying two designer dresses from two separate boutiques. As said and decided I chose the red colour and she just changed her decision at the moment because she said she fell in love wuth the pink colour of flowy maxy dress which caught her breathes. My was a red lehanga with intricate pulchritudinous designs of crystals that were silver and shining, as if someone has hung stars in my dress.

I saw Mehmood but avoided my temptation , and preferred to think as if I didn't see him. Out of the blue, it was a total coincidence that we at the last moment decided to shop from a mall and not do the online shopping because that was too risky and not comfortable. They never send the exsct size and the exact same thing which we picked. If we are to choose a shirt of size M they will deliver a shirt of size XL and the colour blue when you had asked colour green. Yeah so to save our butts from unwanted pain , we chose this. And both of our moms agreed to this and strangely but in real they allowed us to shop for wedding on our own!!

While selecting her dress I noticed slight moistening of Durre's eyes and then asked her about it. I don't know what's disturbing her since I have told the pictures thing and since then she spaced out more often. And now was the same thing too. She spaced out in public  though her hands were moving here and there on the racks of jewellery but still she was as if not present here mentally.

I shook her slightly by her shoulder and inquired,

" What's wrong Durreshehwar? I see you are botheref since I told you about those pictures  . What is it pls open up? If you keep your feelings bottled up for too long it causes grief. You get depressed. You constantly think and overthink about that situation and assume. Assumptions lead you to distruction,causing your happiness and energy to die. "

Words were nonchalantly erupting out of me though I was never good at vocabulary being used for consoling someone. I was sad and angry too that still she acted indifferent towards me.

' There is seriously nothing Ma'arij. I was just thinking whether I will be able to fulfill my duties as a wife or not. Whether I will have a peaceful happy ending or not. '

Her eyes shone with the tears of grief, and I could clearly point out that she was lying but when there is no use of oressing further you shouldn't . I left that on time to unravel the reason of her sadness.

Only God knew that the reason of one's sadness could be the reason of other's happiness.