Upside Down (COMPLETE) Inside Out, Book 2 [BoyxBoy]

Keith

 "Oh." The word came out of Keith's mouth in a light whisper. The world was shattering around and inside of him. When the next roll of warmth started in his cheeks, he knew it wasn't of excitement but of embarrassment.

This is embarrassing, he thought. Even though he did expect the answer. Even though he knew it all along the moment he looked into Nathan's eyes just now.

"I . . . I didn't know that you'd seen me that way. I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, Keith."

How could he stand straight after what he had just heard? How could he hide the look of pain on his face when everything felt so unbearable at the moment? He was breaking; every part of his was breaking with frustration. It was unfair that his bliss was only meant to crush him, and it was crushing him right now.

And Nathan was there to watch it.

"I don't think I believe you," Keith blurted out. The words that waited in line on his tongue were not of his rationality. He wanted to punch Nathan in the face; he wanted to fight and see him bleed now. The floor started to become the three red rings where he used to practice, and Nathan the punching bag.

Nathan let out a scoff. "You don't believe me? How can you not believe that I'm straight? I look gay to you now?"

Keith balled his hands into fists, suppressing his rage down. "Sorry . . . sorry, I—I shouldn't say that."

The colors in his eyes were not sharp. He took a few steps back, closing his eyes and tried to think of random things. He tried to think of school, the finals, his friends ... he tried to embrace how encountering Nathan was just a fluke. It was a coincident and purely his own misunderstanding. He tried to tell himself that it was okay, he wasn't wrong for developing such feelings. Now he needed to admit the fault was on him.

He breathed in and his pulsed relaxed.

The next time he looked at Nathan, Keith was seeing him in a new light.

"I'm truly sorry," Keith said. "My bad."

He turned around and walked away, a stream of tears running down his cheeks. He took his phone and quickly typed out a message to his aunt to pick him up. He didn't want Tessa to see him this way.

"Keith," he could hear Nathan call, but he made himself believe it wasn't real. Nathan didn't exist. Nathan was his mistake.

He crashed into one of the empty bathrooms near the main exit of the school. He locked himself in one of the stalls and started crying. He let the tears out while trying his best to not make any sound. He felt hot and feverish and he couldn't sort many things that were running inside of his head now.

Why did he have to know Nathan? What was the point of meeting him and what was the silver lining? Keith knew he wasn't hurting because of the fact that he and Nathan could be together, he was because he felt stupid. He felt sorry for himself for misinterpreting what he and Nathan had done with each other. He felt bad for himself because he was clinging onto a complete stranger that he knew less than twenty-four hours and it all ended up for nothing.

He was angry at himself for willing to believe he didn't like to rush things when liking someone, and that's the exact thing that he had done now. He felt unfair of having to dislike Ivan for the same attitude he'd shown to Nathan. His feelings made him stupid. He hated himself.

He let all the tears out.Later, he would walk out of the building fresh without having slight sadnessfor Tessa to trace.