Upside Down (COMPLETE) Inside Out, Book 2 [BoyxBoy]

Keith

"Excuse me," Keith said, pushing Sunny off gently to get away from the place. Everything was too much for him to bear, and he hated crying for a reason he hadn't been crying about for so long.

He didn't know seeing another dead body would bring him back to a dark place he thought he'd left forever. But just as soon as he saw Adam's fake dead body lay sprawling on his feet, the night he thought he left three years before came back into his mind, threatening his conscience. Instead of blacking out, he could only cry.

The sound of gunshots came back, the blood, the hunger ... the sight of his father covered in blood.

The sensation of his teeth sinking deep inside a skin ...

He hated all of it, and he hated the fact that prepping himself up for physical skills with Wren didn't get to manage how he felt about the past. When he thought about that night, he felt weak and powerless again, as if he couldn't do anything about it. Everyone around him should teach him earlier on how to make his mind strong as well ... but it seemed like everything was too late.

He ran—he didn't know how far he had gone into. He was sloping downwards and went somewhere where the woods seemed thicker. He might get lost and became clueless on navigating the way back out of the trees, but he didn't mind. He needed to let everything out of his head.

He tried to shape-shift, conjuring all the ways Nathan had taught but failed this time. He let out a grumble alone there, kicking at the ground only to hurt himself a little. When none of his endeavors worked to ease his anxiety, he tried to breathe in next. Calm down, he said. You're going to be fine, Keith ... just don't cry this time ... don't cry because of this ...

The tears fell like river, and Keith pressed his face with his two hands, insisting the tears to go back in or stop. He looked at the blue sky and tried not to think.

How would he adapt to this kind of life? How would he forget the night if he had to mingle ways with the rest of the werewolves? How would he be okay when he wouldn't be having the chance to do things that made him feel human?

He kept his eyes locked to the sky and breathed in. The next air smelled familiar and warmth, and he was surprised the scent was the first thing to help him to not think of what had happened in the past ...

"Hey." The second thing that made Keith calm down was a hand gently landed on his shoulder.

As soon as Keith felt familiar with the touch, he turned around and went straight into Nathan's embrace. He pressed his face on Nathan's chest—he didn't want to cry ... no, not now, not in front of Nathan ...

"Hey, it's fine," he heard Nathan say. "Everything's alright ... was just some false alarm—"

"No, it's not fine!" Keith whined, his voice muffled with his face squeezed into Nathan's clothes. "How can you say it's fine?"

"Okay, okay, it's not fine," Nathan said, and Keith chuckled. He drew away to look at Nathan, to observe his reaction when he saw him crying.

"God, you cried," Nathan said, attempting to wipe the moisture off Keith's face. "Must've been bad for you."

"Nobody warns it's very casual to suddenly see your good friend dead when you live in a wolf pack," Keith said, still sobbing a little.

Nathan laughed. "Well, nobody warns me that either."

Keith needed to inhale Nathan more, so he advanced again to be locked into his embrace. "There, there ..." Nathan persuaded, patting Keith on his head. "I just want you to know that it's going to be fine because I'm here."

"Yeah?" Keith said, looking up at him again, still having Nathan's arms around him. "You sure?"

"On a scale of 1 to 10, I can give you like a 9," Nathan said.

"Okay." Keith tried to stand up straight. He suddenly remembered how he stood near Nathan for the very first time in the gym showers. Nathan was quite a tall guy, being a few inches taller than Keith, although it was still easy to make themselves really eye-to-eye to each other. Keith pressed himself closer to Nathan, only to find him wrapping his arms around Keith's back.

"Everything's going to be alright, okay?" Nathan said. Keith moved his head closer, until their two foreheads touched.

"Keith ..." Nathan said, with a tinge of uncertainty in his voice.

"Thank you," Keith said.

He didn't know being intimate with Nathan could be a calming drug for him, and he did sense an addiction for it coming. Keith wanted more and more, and Nathan didn't help to discourage that desire from him. They had done something more than this, so he didn't see any reason for Nathan to refuse something simpler ...

"Keith," Nathan called out his name again. Keith didn't want to listen, he just wanted to shut the world around him and moved closer so his lips would lock with the boy that made him feel the safest.

When the tip of their lips touched, Keith could feel a fiery zap.

But it ended when two strong hands pushed him off so hard that he flew backwards and crashed to the ground.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Nathan shouted at him, his face scarlet.

Keith suddenly couldn't find a way to breathe. "Oh, shit," he said when everything started to settle into his head. "Oh ... shit."

He started to feel like he was about to sob uncontrollably. He clawed into his own hand, demanding a pain to distract himself from crying again. He felt his face burning with the similar shame he felt not too long ago.

"Keith ..." Nathan started, and all Keith could think was to kill him.

No, he reminded himself, and it hurt so bad. It pained him to realize the guilt he'd feel if he proceeded to pounce on Nathan again.

And this time, it also pained him to realize that he didn't want to do that anymore, that he cared too much on someone who had done nothing but playing around with his feelings.

Keith stood up and brushed a tear quickly and started to run. "Keith ... wait!" Nathan shouted on his back.

He increased the speed ofhis movement, so he wouldn't notice how much he cried along the run to nowhere.