Secrets

15 » HATE YOU LOVE YOU

37 days before.

"Taylor? Are you there?"

I couldn't believe my father bothered to call me up, seven years after my parents got divorced. Now wishing to talk to me when I don't even have anything to say to him.

I hesitate, but I pick up the phone from where it dropped and landed on my bed.

"Yes," I say as calm as I can make my voice to be.

"Good," he breathes in "I was afraid you hung up or something."

"Right. What do you want? If it's just to say hi you're wasting my time."

"No, I needed to check up on you. The last time I called you, you were 12 but your mother refused to allow for me to speak with you."

"I can see why," I state, my lips forming into a strait line.

"I know, because you haven't seen me in years. If you're mad at me I understand-"

"Are you serious? I'm pissed off that you bothered to call me four years after you last did when I haven't seen you in seven years!"

"Taylor-"

"No! Why would I want to speak with you? Maybe you should know life's better now that you're gone. No fighting that's made me lock myself in the bathroom sobbing and begging god for it to be over!"

"I-I didn't know you did that." he gasped.

"Of course you didn't. You two were too inconsiderate on how I felt."

I never knew I felt so mad at him. The anger that could've only been triggered by the sound of his voice.

I pressed the red button on the house phone without another thought and pulled my legs up to my chin, the way I did when my parents would fight and I locked myself in that bathroom. I don't want to hear my fathers voice ever again.

∞

36 days before

I gripped the metal chains connected to the swing and as I moved back and forth the conversation with my father replayed through my mind.

"Hey," I jerked my head up and found Miles peering down at me. "What're you doing here?"

I shrugged. "Thinking. I guess."

"Thinking," he swung on the opposite swing beside me. "Of what?"

"Stuff." I wasn't sure if I should tell him, yet I told mum because she walked in on me sobbing to myself.

"Oh come on Tay," he said, seriousness hinted in the tone of his voice. "What stuff? Is it Fern? Is she-"

"No! It's about my dad." I snapped.

Miles stopped swinging back and forth and stared at me in disbelief that I just mentioned my father.

"What about your father? You haven't seem him in like, seven years."

"He called me yesterday. He wanted to know how I was, but I pushed him away because he's left me here to grow up with just my mum."

"Weren't you happy that he's gone? Because of when your parents would fight and you would hide in that bathroom all the time?"

I stared at him. Yes, he knows about that. He would climb through my window at the age of 9 years old and comfort me. He knew when my father left and didn't look back.

"I thought I was. Truth is all the things I said aren't true. I want him here. He was a great dad, yes my parents weren't happy together but it doesn't mean I didn't want him to leave me here and not talk to me in seven years."

I didn't even know I was crying, when I felt Miles brush his thumb over my cheeks to catch the tears that were traveling down my cheeks.

I miss my dad. The one who'd pick me up from school or during summer would take me to get ice cream. I miss the guy who'd cry with me whenever I'd fallen off my bike and scraped my knee.

But I also hate him. Because he left me here, my mother refusing of me to acknowledge him in our household. She hated to be remember of that day-but I remember it too well;

I pressed my ear to the door, hopeful to know what would happen next. My parents voice echoed through the house, bad words left hanging in the air, my mothers voice warned him off that language in our household.

My fathers voice took over. "F*** you," I heard a slam of a door and I shrieked. I rose to my feet, peeking around the side of the bathroom door.

"Where are you going?" My mother screamed at him.

"I'm leaving! I'm not coming back. Divorce me for all I care!" He screamed back.

"What about your daughter? Are you going to leave her scarred of the day you leave and don't ever return?"

"Tell her I'm sorry." The front door slams shut and tears poured down my cheeks.

∞ ∞

Hey 😋

I have this story planned out just to remind you. ;)

Tomorrow's Monday so idk if I'll update but we'll see.

Also is anyone italics working? Only bold will work for me urgh which is annoying as italics would be useful for this chapter.

Hayley ✌️