The Mafia Boss wants me back

Chapter 37

Day Two of being a mom and I felt great, minus for the fact Xavier had refused to move out so I had no choice but to live with him. But it wasn't at all a happy family, the two days I've been out of hospital we've argued I wanted him gone and he was refusing. I just hate him. 

Little Keegan makes my heart beat faster every time I see him. I'm just so full of love, well towards him anyway not his father. I had my own room and Keegan would stay with me, somehow I needed to get Xavier gone, I wasn't willing to move out again when I had done nothing wrong. It was just coming up to eight pm and I had just finished his last feed for the night, he won't wake up until the morning now. I put him in his cradle and quickly snuck downstairs to get my own nice glass of red wine. 

Awful I know but I'm just so stressed about everything right now. "Oh good, you're down here, I need to speak to you Texas, two days you've ignored me for. I can't fucking deal with it, my mind has been going crazy and I can't sleep knowing you're not in the bed next to me. Please just come back to our room." I just get cornered by this man every chance he gets. "There's nothing to speak about Xavier, we was so good for three months, No men knocking at our door trying to kill us. Not that they knocked off course. I thought you wanted this to work but instead you just replace killing people to having a sex manor. I just don't understand you. Everything you need is here in this house." 

"Did you not care that your pregnant fiancee was sitting at home every night waiting for you to come home to be fucked out of her mind by you, instead you wanted to go out and fuck someone who was hired by some rich man that's to rich to put it to good use. Eight fucking months pregnant and you still cheat on me. I NEVER wanted anyone else but you. For me my perfect family was complete, I guess we're still not on the same level" I've bottled this up for two days needing to get it off my chest but my baby comes first. 

"Texas, I never meant to hurt you." Not like I've heard that before. "You know I love you so fucking much I forget that I have you right here in my palms. I can't live without you, I never have been able to. I'm selfish I want you all for myself but can't do what's right for you. I owned the manor but never ever participated in it until two days ago. Luke was boasting about how good the girls were I just couldn't help myself I really tried I swear I did. But I was in over my head, please realise I love you." 

"Oh bullshit, it's all bullshit. What about caring how good I am for you. Have you ever thought about that, no course you haven't because as long as your dicks getting sucked you don't care who you hurt in the process. Why am I never enough for you? I never do anything wrong to you, I'm at your beck and call every single day." Realising now this is how I've felt for a long time being with him makes me feel like I'm on cloud nine but then when he's not here I feel good? What is wrong with me. 

"I'm sorry Xavier, but that was the last straw. We are never going to work and I know it's not my fault for once I know that. You have messed us up for the last time. You can see Keegan whenever you want I'll never stop that, but I need you out of the house. I can't look at you anymore." Tears were streaming down my face, why can't I be good enough for him. We've come so far yet got no where, how is that possible? He was pulling me closer and just the smell of him made me buckle, but I can't give in. I pushed him away and walked upstairs to Keegan. This is who my life revolves around now.