Chapter 3: Finding Yourself

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"Find yourself."

His words echoed through my head. It's only now that I realize I don't even know who I am anymore.
I only know myself as the girl with cuts.

I don't think I'm ready to know myself yet. I'm afraid of what I'm hiding.

"I.. I don't think I want to.."
Gussion suddenly choked. I guess I caught him at a bad time.
He tried to recover himself before saying.

"Well, I think it's best to get to know others. If you aren't ready to know yourself, then you should practice by knowing other people."

Knowing other people..
I don't want to.

I'm afraid they'll judge me by the scars on my body.
I don't want anyone to know me how I know myself.

"Oh, come on, Lesley. I'll help you through this."
He gave me an assuring look as I give him a nod.

"You promise to not leave me in the air?"

"I promise."

After Lunch

Me and Gussion were walking through the hallways.. again..

I try to cover myself in order to avoid people from spotting me.. I don't want to end up hearing their whispers once again.

Gussion then looks at me to realize I was hiding behind him.

"Why are you hiding?"

"It's just that I don't want to hear their murmurs again."

"Lesley.. don't be scared to hide yourself. Because I think even with those scars, I think you're beautiful."

He called me beautiful..
That feeling of guilt grew over me again. My vision starts to be filtered to red as I felt guilt.

But I had to control myself. I couldn't let this constant feeling of anger take over me.

Time Skip

Gussion and I were at the main rooms. He was talking to a small group of people who I assume are his friends.

He then looks over to me and signals me to come over.

I slowly walk towards them. I try to put on a smile to make a first impression because I need these people.
I need someone to rely on. Someone like Gussion who makes me feel comfortable.
I just hope they meet my shallow standards.

"So, guys. This is Lesley."

"Hello there."
I say to the people which consisted of a boy with a monkey on his shoulder, a girl with orange hair and another girl with long pink hair.

"Hey there, Lesley. The name's Claude. This is my buddy, Dexter."

"You can call me Fanny. Nice meeting you, Lesley."

"Selena. It's a wonderful pleasure to meet you."

They're all so sincere and nice. I felt comfortable with them as I heard their kind voices.
I hope they're people to be trusted.

Character Intros
You may skip this part

Claude- Partners with his pet monkey, Dexter. Well known around the school as someone who often steals pens and markers. But he's also an interesting person. With his pet monkey that attracts attention to him, it's no wonder how nearly everyone's friends with him.

Fanny- A girl with courage in her mind and bravery in her heart. She's known to stand up for her friends and well known for her tough personality but also has a soft side for stitching.

Selena- A petite lady whom talks delicately. Well known around the school as someone who is very feminine but will not hesitate to scold someone over.

______________________________________

"Nice to meet you all." I gave them all a smile as I hold out my hand.
It feels nice knowing that there are opportunities with these new friends.

But then again, you shouldn't give your full trust to anyone.
There could be a snake hiding behind each of these faces.
And plus, you wouldn't want temporary people to be in your life. I don't want to commit to any of these friendships. I don't want to get attached.

"Did you guys hear that the club recruitment was ongoing? Why not celebrate our new friendship there?"
Claude says.

We all nod and proceed to the field where the recruitment was ongoing.
Everyone decided to split up because they all had different desired clubs.

But I only had two.

You see, I've always had a passion for both singing and dancing. But ever since my persona back in my previous school took over my life, I wasn't able to show my talents.
I was blinded by the thought of feeling like I was the center of attention.
I was afraid that if I made a mistake then that'd be everything for me.
But this year, I want to change my persona.
I want people to know me for who I am. Not who my persona is.

I scan around the open field to see if they have a dance club or even a music club.
Luckily, I was able to spot both.
As I was slowly walking to the booths, I felt like I was being followed. I had to speed up.

I step up to the booth of the dance club, which was decorated with cardboard sillhouettes of people dancing and as well as a colorful floor with lights.
The lady behind the counter gave me a welcoming look.

"New student?"

"Y.. yes.. I'd like to sign up for the dance club."

"Great! If you'd like to confirm your membership please fill in this information sheet and there will be an audition this Friday." The lady said as she handed over the paper.

An audition!? My body suddenly froze over the thought of people watching me. I'm slowly getting paranoid..
The thoughts of being the focus of attention were coming back.
But I had to be confident.
Success doesn't come to you, but you have to travel distant roads to reach it.

I fill up the sheet and hand it over to the lady.

"Thanks! See you at the audition."

I bowed at her and proceeded to rescan the place for the Music Club's booth.

As I was walking over to it, I felt that feeling of being followed again. I was too afraid to look behind me, so I tried to shrug it off and continued walking.

I make it to the counter and take one of the request sheets at the side and start filling it up.

"New student I see. Welcome to the music club. Here, we'll be able to sing and perform during events and open up to students with a passion to sing. Oh, hey there! Gussion!"
I hear the lady say Gussion's name as I was filling the format.
I look over to the side and see Gussion also filling in a format.

"Hey there, Odette! Nice to he back in the music club. Oh, Lesley? You're also joining? That's great! I never knew you had a passion for music?"

"I used to."

Gussion just gives me a slight smirk as I continue to fill up the format.

"There will be an audition Monday next week. Please show up, both of you."

"No worries. I'll make sure Lesley will come over."

We both hand our formats to Odette and leave.

"I never knew you liked music?"

"Well, as I said earlier I used to."

"What made you stop?"

"Well, my brother was the one who got me into writing and singing. Hut ever since he left to study abroad I lost all my motivation and left my passion for music behind."

"Well, atleast you're regaining your habits. Technically, you're finding yourself again like I told you earlier."

I only realised that now. It was true what he said, that I'll end up finding myself once again.

We were both now talking like old friends as we head to the exit.

"Aw look at you two lovebirds."

Wait, lovebirds!?

Earphones | GusLey [Completed, Unedited]Where stories live. Discover now