Mailboxes and Park Benches ~A Ftm story~

Chapter 9

Luke stumbled out of the house and walked quickly down the side walk. He didn't turn in the direction of his house, instead he walked the other way, but he didn't care, he just wanted to get away from there. He shook his head and thought he could feel all his thoughts being knocked around in his brain. He wished his head would clear, he tried to imagine his thoughts spilling out his ears and leaving his mind empty, blank. But instead they jumbled up, mixed together, and left smudges in his brain. He couldn't think properly. Luke shoved his earbuds in his ears to the point where it hurt. He turned the metal up loud. It drowned out all other noises, partially including the noises in his head. The lyrics and the guitars and the screaming distracted him. It drowned the words in his mind, as if laying a blanket of sound down over them. The lyrics mixed with his thoughts, seeming to push them away. The heavy guitars and brutal drumming seemed to push around the mixed sentences and fight them back. He walked along with the fast beat of the drums, quickening his pace. He rubbed his temples, trying to focus on helping the music push out his thoughts. He counted the seconds of his breathing. Four seconds in, pause four seconds, four seconds out. He stopped walking and leaned against a tree so he could close his eyes. He was in a little world of his own. The metal blasting and drowning out everything, his sight surrounded in darkness. It felt peaceful, despite the chaotic tone of the music. Once Luke could compose himself, he opened his eyes calmly, and continued to walk at a normal pace. He didn't quite understand what just happened but now that his mind was clear he let individual, collected, thoughts flow in, trying to organize them. He first thought about what happened. He flirted at her. And she laughed. And then their faces were so close. Close enough to kiss. But Luke got up and left. Next he thought about his actions and why he did them. Why did he make that flirt? It was the first thing to come to his mind and he just said it without thinking. He didn't even mean to; it just came out of his mouth. And then he realized what he said but she was laughing about it, not uncomfortable in the slightest. And when their faces were so close, Luke got scared. He didn't know what to do or what would happen or how he would feel if it happened or if he was ready. He was scared. The fear shocked him out of the situation and his natural instinct was to sit up, and get out of whatever moment had been caught between them. Suddenly he felt a bit bad. She hadn't seemed awkward or unsure at all. She just stared into his eyes. He remembered those eyes. Now that he had been so close, he noticed they weren't just green, but a mix of that and a light blue. They were calm and gentle, like they could do no harm. And they were looking into his eyes. HIS eyes. The image of her face so close echoed in his mind, now he couldn't stop seeing it. He noticed how her eyes reached into his, wanting him. Those beautiful green, blue eyes wanted HIM. He remembered her lips, slightly curving up. While he felt his face had been in a state of shock, her's was calm and happy, in a moment of joy, a sort of adoration. She had been so comfortable, right there with him. Luke thought back to the day when they sat together on the bench. Ryan was hunched over, tense, uptight and when Luke tried to put his hand on her's, she flinched away. And now she had just been inches from his face, smiling, completely at ease. And he had ruined it.
Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Luke went to Ryan's number on his phone, considering an apology but instead shoved his phone back in his pocket. He continued to walk and eventually entered the part of the neighborhood near Matt's house.  He walked along the familiar side walk, looking at each house in turn. Most of the homes were two stories, each different shades of brown and tan. The fronts of many houses were grassy and green, with short trees growing here and there. Luke frowned, now he had two things on his mind, refusing to leave. But he kept walking. Matt's house was in a few more turns, so it wouldn't take to long to be there, if Luke was planning on going there in the first place. He was going home. He was just taking the longer route, and it happened to go through this part of the neighborhood. Luke knew he should go there. He knew he should just walk up to his house, knock, and say
"Alright no more hiding. We're going to talk and we're going to talk now. I don't want to ignore whatever the fuck this is any longer, ok?" He knew he had to say something if Matt wasn't going to. Luke turned the corner and WHAM. He stumbled back, shocked. He took a moment to let his mind clear of the dizziness he felt from the impact, and looked up. Luke froze.
"Well. Look who it is." Hunter stared down at him threateningly, wearing a massive smirk. Luke wanted so badly to smack it right off his stupid, muscular face. Behind him were his friends, sporting the same douchey grins. Justin had short, thick brown hair that was a little to long to be short. It hung down in front of his eyebrows, sticking to his forehead right above menacing, brown eyes. He seemed like he would be more the type to be a nerd then to be a bully but his height made up for his vulnerability. Ronnie had dirty blonde hair that hung in thin strands. He had that full-of-himself look in his stone face. Lisa had long, slightly wavy brown hair, and piercing blue eyes, while Bethany had similar hair but an extremely light Blonde. Hunter himself had short black hair. He was muscular and tall; Luke thought it was safe to assume that he played football.
"It's funny we meet here."
"Fuck off, Hunter." Luke tried to walk past them but Hunter grabbed his arm.
"That's rude. Especially considering you owe us for that time you got us in trouble."
"Yea what was that all about? Why the fuck would you defend that... thing?" Justin chimed in. Hunter shoved him and Luke tumbled and tripped on the pavement.
"Doesn't matter now." Hunter said sinisterly and grabbed Luke by the shirt.