Mailboxes and Park Benches ~A Ftm story~

Chapter 17

Luke stared as she turned the corner and out of the school. He looked around.
"What just...?" He was so confused. She had acted weird before. But what was it? Did she not like him? He didn't understand why she acted like that all the time. Thoughts were flooding into Luke's mind uncontrollably.
"Ryan what's wrong???" He whispered urgently to himself. He paused for a second, trying to think.
"Fuck." He ran out of the gym after her. At their table, his friends stared at him.
"What happened?" Ashley called. He ran over as fast as he could.
"Did any of you drive here?"
"Um... I did. Need a ride?" Ashley said slowly.
"Yes. Yes let's go. Hurry!" He was already running off in the direction of the parking lot.
Ashley ran after him without another word. They found her car quickly and Luke got in the passengers seat. Ashley got in the drivers seat and turned on the car.
"You ok?" She asked as the car started up.
"Just go." Ashley pulled out of the parking lot and they drove the whole way in a grim silence. It was dark and silent outside. The moon hung low and calm in the tar black sky.
"Go to my neighborhood. Just drop me off." Luke commanded as they neared his neighborhood. She nodded and pulled into the neighborhood. The car slowly progressed down the street and Luke got impatient.
"Stop." Ashley had to stop the car quickly because Luke was already opening the door.
"Should I wait?" Ashley called but Luke was already running at max speed down the sidewalk towards Ryan's house. Luke could barely see in the thick darkness.
"Ryan." He panted.
"Don't do anything stupid." He skidded to a halt at her house and tried the door. It was locked. Ryan ran over to the tree and reached up into the branches. His hand touched something cold and metal. He swiped the key down and clutched it in his palm, running back to the door. He frantically unlocked the door and swung it open. He looked around desperately. The only light in the house was from upstairs. He closed the door, not bothering to lock it and ran upstairs. The light was coming from the bathroom. He tried the door but it was locked.
"Ryan!" He called and pounded on the door.
"Ryan! Are you ok?!" No answer. He tried the door again but it wouldn't budge.
"Fuck." He hissed and ran back downstairs. He flung drawers in the kitchen open until he found a small key tucked away in a corner. He grabbed it and ran back upstairs.
"Please please please..." He whispered under his breath as he scrambled to unlock the door. Finally it gave way and swung open. Ryan startled and Luke froze. Scissors were laid out on the sink and pieces of hair were scattered everywhere. Ryan wasn't wearing a shirt, but her chest was wrapped in bandages, swelling with bruises. Her hair was cut short, still covering her eyes. Her face was wet with tears. Luke thought his heart had stopped. For a second they stared at each other, then Luke ran to Ryan who fell back against the bath tub.
"Ryan! What are you doing?" He dropped down to his knees and grabbed Ryan by the shoulders.
"I'm sorry..." she choked out.
"Wh... what is this???" Luke could feel tears swelling at his eyes but he didn't try to stop them.
"I'm sorry" she repeated.
"Just tell me what's going on!" Ryan shook her head, looking down as her lip quivered.
"Ryan please tell me. You know I won't judge you." Ryan stared down at the floor.
"Please Ryan. I need to know what's going on."
"I... I can't be your girl friend." Ryan chocked. Her voice was barely audible. Luke stared at her, a look of  sadness and concern in his eyes.
"That's ok, Ryan. You don't have to do anything you don't want to."
"No. It's not... I'm... im not a girl." Luke opened his mouth but couldn't think of anything to say.
"I'm a guy. I'm sorry. I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to hurt you because I can't be your girlfriend-"
"So then your my boyfriend." Ryan stared up at him with big eyes.
"But... are you gay?"
"I don't care. I love you and if your a boy then your my beautiful handsome boyfriend."
"But ARE you gay?"
"I've... Ive never thought about it but that doesn't matter! What matters is that I love you. And if your a guy then I'm gay for you. Your who I love. I don't care what gender you are. I don't care if your a He or a She or a They." Tears fell down Ryan's and Luke's cheeks in unison.
"But this isn't healthy." Luke looked down at the bandages covering his damaged chest.
"I want you to be happy. I don't want you to hurt yourself. Ryan you have to tell me things like this. I wouldn't want you going and hurting yourself just because you don't think I'll except you. And if someone doesn't except you, they aren't worth your time. And they especially aren't something worth hurting yourself over. If you just told me, I could've helped you go about this in a better way."
"I'm sorry" Ryan whimpered again. Luke stared at him, then embraced him. Ryan flinched from the pain in his chest and Luke leaned away. He wanted Ryan to feel safe. He wanted Ryan to feel happy. He wanted Ryan to be himself no matter what. And Luke was willing to do whatever it takes to make sure of that.
"Let's get you cleaned up. Do you have sports bras?" Ryan nodded.
"Go get them." Luke ordered. He came back with a few that were all black.
"Take those bandages off. Wear multiple sports bras until we can get you a binder. Ok?" Ryan nodded.
"How bad is your chest?"
"It's just bruised." Ryan sniffled and poked at the bruising, flinching from the pain. Luke stared, concerned.
"Well if it's really bad I don't want you binding until you feel better. You have to be careful." Ryan nodded and began unwrapping the bandages.
"Should I..." Luke pointed to the door but Ryan shook his head so Luke just turned around. Ryan slipped on the sports bras and threw the bandages in the trash. Luke helped Ryan to clean up the bathroom. After they were done, Ryan slipped on a simple Mcr shirt.
"Come here." Luke said and Ryan did. He hugged him for who knows how long.
"I love you, ok?"
"Ok."
"Don't ever hurt yourself no matter what. Ok?"
"Ok."
"And don't ask how I know so much about this, ok?"
"Ok."
"Do you want to talk?" Ryan nodded and they walked to his room close together the entire time.