Mailboxes and Park Benches ~A Ftm story~

Chapter 18

Luke led Ryan to his bed where they sat down. Ryan scooted until he was sitting against the wall. He pulled a blanket up to him. Luke scooted back to were Ryan was, who shared the blanket with him. They sat there together in silence for a minute.
"So your a He?" Ryan nodded.
"Is it ok if I ask you about it? Some questions may be awkward. You don't have to answer if you don't want." Ryan nodded.
"So you feel dysphoria for your chest. Do you- want a... you know." Ryan nodded.
"Ok. Do your parents know?" Ryan shook his head.
"No. Ok. Well they're coming home soon, right?" Nod.
"Do you know how they feel about this stuff?"
"It's complicated." Ryan mumbled.
"Do you want to tell me?" Ryan was silent for a second.
"They'd be ok with me cutting my hair or wearing "boy's clothes." But I don't entirely know how they feel about me actually being trans."
"I see. So... what are you going to say?"
"I don't want to lie."
"So your going to come out?"
"I should. But I'm scared."
"I'll be there if you want." Ryan nodded.
"I don't want to deal with it right now." A moment of silence past between them.
"We don't have to stay." Ryan looked at him.
"We could leave. We can just... go. I don't know where. Just somewhere. Anywhere. Together. Even if just for tonight." Luke suggested. Ryan thought.
"Then lets go. Anywhere."
"Anywhere." Luke followed Ryan as he sat up.
"Ashley drove me here. I don't know if she's still here. But if she is would you be ok with her driving?"
"Yea." Ryan grabbed his Motionless In White hoodie and changed into a pair of skinny jeans. He slipped on his converse and grabbed his purple beanie, then they left. Luke stayed close to Ryan as they walked down the dimly lit sidewalk. The pavement glowed orange in the light of the lamp posts, everything else was black. Luke saw a dark silhouette waiting ahead. As they came closer, he noticed it was Ashley's car. She rolled down the window as they neared.
"You ok? Need a ride?" She called from inside the car.
"Yea." Luke called and got in the back seat. Ryan sat next to him. The car was warm. The light was soft as it shined gently on them. Ashley stared at the two in the rear view mirror for a minute.
"Where to?" She finally asked. Luke looked at Ryan.
"Anywhere." He answered. She paused again, then drove out of the neighborhood and down the street. Ryan rested his head on Luke's shoulder, who wrapped his arm around his shoulder. Luke thought he could see Ashley smile. It felt as though they were driving for hours, though Luke knew it could only be minutes. Finally the car slowed and came to a stop near a little coffee shop.
"You have your phones?" Ashley asked. They nodded.
"Text me so I can pick you up. Don't get into trouble." Luke smiled. Although she acted as though she was a bad influence, in reality she was like the cool mom making sure everyone was safe and not making stupid decisions.
"Thanks, Ash." She nodded as they got out of the car.
"Be careful." She called, and drove away. Luke and Ryan stared as the car drove away into the pitch-black night. Luke looked to Ryan.
"Want something to eat?" He glanced at the coffee shop. Ryan nodded and they pushed open the door. It was, for the most part, empty. They sat down at a booth and Ryan leaned into Luke.
"Can I get you anything?" Someone walked up to them, holding a pen and note pad. Luke glanced down at Ryan.
"Coffee please." He mumbled.
"Coffee." Luke told the waiter.
"Anything else?"
"No thank you." The waiter nodded and walked away.
"So..." Luke tried.
"Thank you." Ryan murmured. Luke looked down at the table.
"Of course." They sat in silence for a minute.
"We'll figure this out. Ok?" He nodded.
"Here's your coffee." The waiter set down a cup on the table and Ryan sat up.
"Thanks." He said. He wrapped both hands around the cup and took a sip. They sat together quietly until Ryan stood up.
"Want to go?" Ryan nodded.
"Ok." He stood up and they left the shop, Ryan still clutching his coffee. They walked down the sidewalk in the dark.
"R... Ryan?" Luke whispered.
"Yea?"
"I just... I want you to know I'll love you no matter what. I liked you since I first met you and your an amazing person and I'll do whatever is takes to make sure your happy and safe and..."
"I know." Ryan interrupted.
"I like you to. I just... I didn't want to ruin that if I told you I was a guy. I didn't know if you were gay and I wanted to be with you but I didn't know if you would still like me if I was a guy so I just hid it I guess." Luke stopped walking and Ryan did the same.
"I like you for who you are and if this is who you are then I love that. I love you, Ryan. Not what gender you are. And if anyone ever doesn't like you for who YOU are then fuck them. Don't be someone else for someone else."
"I know." Luke was facing Ryan. Ryan was staring at the ground.
"Hey." Luke whispered and Ryan looked up at him. He slowly put his hand on his cheek. Ryan stared up into his eyes. Luke leaned in. It was as if they had rewinded time to when they were at that dance, except this time they really were alone. Their lips were just as close as they had been. And then... they were kissing. Luke was kissing Ryan. Luke was kissing his boyfriend. Luke felt something he couldn't explain. It was indescribable. Luke began to pull away but Ryan followed, pushing him into the wall. He ran his fingers through Luke's hair and Luke pulled him in closer.
"Ryan..." Luke managed to gasp.
"Shh." Was all Ryan said and continued to kiss him.