Mailboxes and Park Benches ~A Ftm story~

Chapter 19

"My mom's texting me." Ryan said. They were sitting together outside the coffee shop, waiting for Ashley.
"Me to."
"My dad is too. They're freaking out." Ryan said nervously. He wasn't as quiet as he was just before. His voice was at a normal volume again. Their faces were both red as they sat close together. It was 10:30 now.
"What are you going to do?"
"Well I'm going to have to explain this anyway."
"So... your gonna come out?"
"I guess so." Luke nodded. He seemed just as nervous as Ryan.
"Hey." Luke looked at Ryan.
"I'll be fine." She leaned over and kissed Luke again, then smiled at him. He smiled back and Ashley's car pulled up. They stood up and walked over. They got in the back.
"To Ryan's House." Luke said.
"Ok." Ashley was staring at them skeptically through the rear view mirror.
"Care to tell me what happened?" She asked slowly. Luke looked at Ryan with a questioning look. He nodded.
"Um. Well Ryan has a thing to uh tell you." Ashley looked confused for a second.
"Yea?" Luke looked at Ryan again, silently asking if he could tell her. Ryan nodded again.
"Um... well Ryan is um. He's a guy."
"Your trans, Ryan?"
"Yea."
"Ok. Cool. So he/him pronouns?" Ryan nodded.
"Ok. Thanks for telling me. Should I tell the others?" Ryan thought for a moment then said
"Yes."
"K. Will do." Ryan looked a bit surprised and Luke smiled.
"She's really chill." Ashley drove and the ride seemed shorter then when they had left. As they drove up to Ryan's house, he shivered.
"Are you ok?" Ryan nodded, still shaking.
"Hey. I'm right beside you. Ok?" He nodded and they slipped out of the car.
"Be careful. Good luck, you two." Ashley called. Luke nodded, waved good bye, then turned to Ryan.
"Are you ready?"
"Not at all." He gulped.
"Common. You can do this." Luke offered him his hand and he took it. They walked up to the house together and Ryan slowly opened the door.
"Sophia? Is that you?" A deep voice called from inside the house. Ryan gulped and closed the door.
"Yea." His Mom and dad came rushing from the kitchen and stopped.
"Why are you home so l... Sophia?" His Mom looked at the scene before her.
"Why is Luke here? And you cut your hair. And your home late. What's going on?"
"I... I'm sorry, mom. Luke and I just uh... went for some food after the dance. I'm sorry I didn't answer your texts. I turned my phone off so I didn't get them until we were coming back."
"Why did you cut your hair?"
"I've... uh I've wanted to for a while. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I was scared to."
"Oh that's ok, Sophia. We wouldn't be mad if you wanted to cut your hair. Girls can have short hair." Ryan's Mom smiled but he flinched.
"Actually. Um... I... it's not really like that." His Mom tilted her head to the side.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean... I... I'm not Sophia. I'm Ryan." His Mom stared, confused.
"Mom I'm not a girl. I'm a boy. And my name's Ryan. I'm trans." He put simply. His mom stared.
"No. Sophia, your a girl. Why are you here?" She turned to Luke, who stepped forward.
"Because Ryan's not your daughter. HE is your son."
"This isn't your business."
"Yes it is." She ignored him and turned back to Ryan.
"Your a girl. You have BOOBS and a..."
"That doesn't mean I'm a girl! And it's not like I WANT those!"
"Sophia!"
"That's not my fucking name!!!" She stared at Ryan with a stern look. Ryan's dad was watching from the kitchen doorway.
"Sophia, I want you to be happy in your body. I want you to love yourself."
"I do love myself! Your the one who doesn't! I was born in the wrong body!"
"You need to leave." His Mom pointed at Luke.
"I'm not leaving."
"This isn't your business."
"Yes it is. Because if you can't except your own SON, your not worth his time! He deserves someone who excepts him."
"Stop calling her my son!"
"Stop calling HIM your daughter! He's your son and you need to except him! You're his parents!"
"She needs to learn to love herself for who she is!"
"He does love himself for who he is! And that's a BOY! Your fucking delusional!" She turned back to Ryan.
"You're to young to know this." Ryan's face scrunched up in anger.
"I know how I fucking feel! My age has nothing to do with whether I can know how I feel! I know I'm not going to change because this is who I am! Your not feeling what I feel, are you? So why do you think you know shit?!" Ryan cried.
"Because I'm an adult. I have a fully developed brain. Your a CHILD. I have more life experience."
"Have you had experience with trans people? Have you done your research? Have you ever felt what i'm feeling? You haven't! You don't have experience with this!!! Just because your an adult doesn't mean your an almighty being who knows everything! Why don't you do your research before making an opinion? If you want me to be happy, why don't you except me? You think telling ME who I am is helping? Your a shit parent if you think that! Not excepting your kid is not going to make them happy! I can't even begin to comprehend that logic. Something you don't understand just comes along and you don't know what to do but you think you know everything! Well you're doing it all wrong!"
"Sophia..."
"Stop calling me that!!!"
"Ok look. When I was your age I wanted to be prettier. I hated my face. I felt self conscious about it. But guess. What? I sucked it up and I learned to love myself for who I was! I didn't go getting some sketchy plastic surgery to make me pretty! You need to learn to love yourself. People won't care if you have boobs! Your going through changes and your mind is confused and your becoming a women so your going through a lot of emotions. This will pass."
"Oh my fucking god! Your so ignorant! You can't identity as 'pretty!' Wanting surgery to fit who I am inside isn't the same as wanting to look different! This is about my gender! Not being self conscience about my fucking face because I didn't fit into some stupid clique in school. And having boobs ISN'T who I am! This dysphoria isn't just going to pass because I was born into the wrong body! You weren't 'born into the wrong face!' I'm not doing this for other people. I'm not scared people are going to judge me because I have boobs! In fact I tried to hide being trans to impress someone I liked. But he excepts me and he's not delusional! He knows I should be who I am for ME! Not for anyone else." Ryan paused to look at Luke, then continued.
"This body isn't me!!! It's not who I am! I'm in the wrong body! Me pretending to be a girl is hiding who I am! Making my chest flat is embracing who I am! And I don't need to learn to except myself for something I'm NOT! YOU need to except me for who I AM! And I'm not becoming a women because I'm not a girl! I'm a boy and my body is going through the WRONG changes! I'm supposed to be becoming a MAN!" Ryan panted, tears rolling down his face. His parents stared, awestruck. Ryan ran out of the front door. Luke glared at his parents.
"You fucked up." Was the last thing he said as he followed Ryan out the door.

Authors note: hhahhahaha and this has been a list of the things my parents have said and all the things I wish I had said but I'm fucking weak :D *wheeze* so I guess this is more of a vent? Hehhehehhehu plz help