Best for Us (GU #3)

thirty-five

Thirty-Five: Vanessa Gerleen

"SO, you're telling me now that you're friends with Tyler?"

I smiled sheepishly at Kuya Miles. So after we went to church together with Ate Kimberly, he decided to do some interrogation with me at the café.

Gustong-gusto ko nan gang umuwi dahil mayroon na akong plano para mamayang hapon kaso hindi agada ko pinaalis ni Kuya Miles. At 'yan na nga ang rason. Matapos tanungin akong muli kung bakit hindi ko nabanggit sa kanya na sa Montereal Place din nakatira si Tyler at makapagpaliwanag ako, sunod-sunod na ang naging pagtatanong niya.

Kaya sa huli'y wala akong nagawa kundi sabihin ang totoo. Na magkaibigan kami ni Tyler.

Naisip ko rin na mas maigi nang ganoon. But apparently, Kuya Miles seemingly not buying it. The idea that I and Tyler were friends.

"Yes, we're friends," sagot ko pa nang nanatili lang siyang nakatingin nang medyo masama sa akin.

"Friends?" ulit ni Kuya Miles. "That's just BS, Vanessa."

I winced at the tone of his voice. Nadagdagan pa iyon sa paggamit niya ng pangalan ko. "I don't know that guy can do friendship with girls."

Sumama na rin ang timpla ng mukha ko kay Kuya Miles. Paano, iyong mga sinasabi niya. "Kuya, you're being judgemental right now."

"But we both know how that guy is with girls. Alam nating pareho kung gaano siya ka-playboy."

I couldn't help the glare that I sent his way. "Yes, possible ngang ganoon siya dati. O sabihin na nating kahit ngayon. Pero hindi naman ibig sabihin na hindi niya kayang makipagkaibigan, Kuya. At saka may pangalan siya. Stop referring him as to 'that guy'."

Kuya Miles huffed and he looked at me as if I said something in foreign language. "And now, you're even defending him."

Napasimangot ako. "Bakit naman hindi? Kaibigan ko siya saka hinuhusgahan mo siya. Eh hindi naman 'yun totoo. Just so you know, he never did something to disrespect me or take advantage of the friendship that we have. He's nothing but a good friend to me. Kaya Kuya please alam ko hindi kita mapipilit na paniwalaan ang mga sinasabi ko. Pero pwede bang iwasan mo 'yung pagjudge sa kanya? Because he so doesn't deserve it."

Medyo matagal akong tinitigan ni Kuya Miles bago napabuntong-hininga. "Okay. I'm sorry kung mukhang hinuhusgahan ko yung lala—I mean si Tyler. But you can't blame me. I happened to see how he was. But if you're saying that he changed and is good to you then okay, I'll stop judging him. But it's not because I believe he's a changed person. It's because I trust you, Van. I believe you know what you're doing."

Napangiti na ako kay Kuya Miles. That's already fine with me. Alam ko naman na darating din yung panahon na makikita rin niya 'yung nakikita ko kay Tyler ngayon.

"Thank you, Kuya," sambit ko kay Kuya saka inabot iyong kamay niyang nakapatong sa table na nasa gitna namin. "That already means a lot to me, that you trust me."

Tumango naman siya saka ipinatong yung malayang kamay sa kamay kong nakahawak sa kanya. "Just be careful, okay? I don't want my little sister get her heart hurt."

Mahina akong natawa. "I will, don't worry. And that won't happen."

Again, dugtong ko sa isipan. I won't let my heart be broken again. Kaya nga narito lang kami sa friendship zone eh. Dito, ligtas 'yung puso ko. Dito, malayo ako sa posibilidad na masaktang muli. Kasi walang mas malalim na feelings. Walang complications. Alam yung boundary.

And somehow, I wanted to laugh wryly at that as I remembered last night. Doon sa rooftop.

Because the way my heart raced as Tyler held me as we danced under the bright stars screamed a different thing. And that was far from boundary, limits, and comfort zone. Kahit ayaw ko mang aminin, kung paano nagrambulan na naman ang puso't isipan ko kagabi'y nangangahulugan lang ng komplikasyon.