Best for Us (GU #3)

thirty-six

Thirty Six: Tyler Osmond

IT was just a kiss. Kiss in its simplest form—just two lips against each other. Not even moving. Innocently touching.

And I could already feel the old Tyler laughing at me now, mocking me nonstop at what I was doing.

Naiimagine ko na nga ang mga salitang bibitawan niya sa akin ngayon.

You don't kiss like that, Tyler.

When did you have been such a lousy kisser?

You can do better than that.

At itinaboy ko ang boses na iyon, hindi na hinayaang bumalik pa.

Dahan-dahan na akong lumayo kay Vanessa. Saka tumitig sa gulat pa rin niyang mukha ngayon.

"You can hit me now," pauna kong sabi, nakatitig pa rin sa mga mata niya. "And you must be feeling hitting me more with this but...I'm still going to say I'm not sorry I did that."

Vanessa bit her lip at that and it took all my willpower not to close our distance and captured those lips. And this time, I'd make sure no any kind of voice from the back of my mind will mock me again.

But thanks to my restraint, I didn't do that. Lalo pa't hindi iyon ang dapat mangyari. There's still a lot of things I wanted to tell Vanessa.

And I was going to start now.

"I like you, Vanessa," amin ko na. "Actually, it must be deeper than that. I couldn't even name this feeling but it's the first time I ever felt this way. I just know that I care about you so much. And I don't want any other guy to be near you. Like I feel my heart's being torned into pieces. Like you with them? It's never right. And maybe this is a crazy thinking, but I always feel like you should always be with me. And only me. No one else's."

I stopped for a moment and waited for her reaction. Pero nanatiling walang imik si Vanessa. Basta lang nakatitig sa akin. Then she blinked. Once, twice, thrice. Then she swallowed, taking a step back, giving us more space.

And my heart started to panic. Was that rejection?

Vanessa opened her lips. At first there was no words that came out before she cleared her throat and tried it again.

"Can I have a drink first?" tanong niya sabay hagod ng kamay sa gitna ng leeg. "Parang natuyuan ako ng lalamunan."

I blew out a sigh of relief. Hindi pa naman ako narereject, 'di ba?

Tumango ako sa kanya saka gumilid, binigyan siya ng daan. Inalis naman niya ang tingin sa akin at doon dumiretso sa may fridge.

Pinanood ko siyang kinuha iyong jar ng tubig doon hanggang sa nagsalin sa baso. At nang iinom na siya'y sadya kong iniwas ang tingin. I needed my mind in its rational state.

And I've been proven once that watching Vanessa drink something was enough to put it in a whirl.

I know, I know. I sounded like a weakling right now. But I just didn't care. After sorting my feelings out, I knew I just to be honest from now on especially about how I feel. How I feel about her.

At nakaiwas pa rin ang mga mata nang marinig kong may tumikhim malapit sa akin.

Napunta doon ang mata ko't nakitang naroon na si Vanessa.

Tiningnan niya muna ako nang matagal bago huminga ng malalim at saka nagsimula nang magsalita. "You're saying that you like me? And what? You just came up with that overnight?"

Agad akong umiling, saka nagpaliwanag. "No, I've been feeling this way much earlier than that. I just didn't welcome the feeling fully. Hindi ko masyadong inintindi because I was afraid. This is all new to me and it really scare the hell out of me," amin ko saka muling humugot ng hininga. "Then yesterday, I already kind of asked for help."